By Almie Rose
From the monthly archives:
“I’ve finally learned not to do long, elaborate introductions [at parties] — the kind where you tell too much about a person so there’s nothing left for the other person to ask. It’s something most people already know, but I did it for years and it was awful. I’d say things like, ‘This is Jane [...]
{ 0 comments }
I don’t know if it’s a girl thing or what but I’ve been noticing that a lot of my female friends have a hard time letting it go. They lament over their mistakes, their roads not taken, their misfortunes. CUT IT THE FUCK OUT. I know, this is far easier said than done. Yesterday I [...]
{ 1 comment }
I’m now writing for thisrecording.com. Or…This Recording. And then you add the dot.com when you want to look for it. I don’t know. I’ll still write there, though! So don’t go anywhere. Please. Here is my first piece: “In Which We Find There Are Two Types Of Guys” If you like what you’ve been reading [...]
{ 0 comments }
“What’s the use in trying? All you get is pain.” — Super Emo band The Monkees“If you’re going to do something, do it right.” — Charles Manson My mom told me a story that when she was a teenager, her mother gave her a silver cigarette case for her birthday saying, “If you’re gonna smoke, [...]
{ 0 comments }
I made out with this dude 3 years ago and lately he has been trying to ~~get with me~~ again. I’m not saying that I’m a golden horse on a carousel; in other words, I’m not trying to brag. I’m just amazed that this dude is still trying. It was 3 years ago and I [...]
{ 0 comments }
I get it. Sometimes you need to be an asshole. Like when your assistant, Todd, gets you an extra-foamy latte. Doesn’t he know that foam makes you all farty and bloated? To be the best asshole you can be, you must: ~~ Give everyone obnoxious nicknames. Erika is, “The Kay-ster, nice to see ya!” Nick [...]
{ 0 comments }
We want to believe that the air was heavy with regret for both parties. That we were but characters in an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story. That “everything inside was turning over/minutes seemed to last forever/my fault in, a way, for being clever” (‘In Findley’, Sydne Rome, a great song to set against walking along [...]
{ 0 comments }
