By Almie Rose
From the monthly archives:
Hey you. Thanks for meeting me here. Have a seat. No, not that seat. Don’t sit there. I swear to God if you sit there I will stab you in the throat. Oh, that seat? Yeah, that’s fine, you can sit there. I was kidding anyway. I was thrilled to get your invitation. I can [...]
{ 0 comments }
Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads.– Dr. Emmett Brown People often ask me, “What’s your blog about?” I usually say something like, “Oh it’s about being a girl in Los Angeles.” I don’t know what this blog is about. But I do know that people read it. So on the off chance that [...]
{ 0 comments }
What kind of sick game are you playing, buddy? Several months ago I wrote about this guy I was seeing that was worse than Phil Spector and OJ combined. At least OJ was in the Naked Gun movies and those were funny. And Phil Spector is responsible for some of the greatest music of all [...]
{ 0 comments }
Firstly, Happy Jew Year! Even if you’re not Jewish use this as a chance to start anew. Lastly, can you guess which famous novel this title references? I know what you’re thinking: what happened to secondly, thirdly, et cetera? Answer: Life is too short, just cut to lastly. That’s really all you need. First and [...]
{ 0 comments }
I’ve established that I Dont Want A Boyfriend (and btw Sven is doing fine thank you) but what I would like to kiss, be kissed, and kiss again. I don’t even want sex, I’m going through a robot phase right now (in which I feel…well, like a robot, and robots don’t sex, unless it’s robot [...]
{ 1 comment }
I wasn’t kidding a few posts back when I said I don’t breathe correctly. I think you’re supposed to breathe through your nose and our your mouth but I inhale too deeply, via my mouth, clench my teeth, realize that I’m holding my breath, then let it out. Did you know that gulping too much [...]
{ 0 comments }
Welcome to a second edition of “What You Need To Do”, this time starring the cast of “The Edge of Love”, and by cast I am referring to Sienna Miller and Keira Knightley. Kiera? Hold on, let me google this shit. OK, it’s E-I. Good to know. WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. You need to [...]
{ 0 comments }
