Do you really want to know something about a man? Ask him who his favorite muppet is. I’m serious. For months now I have been asking every guy I know who their favorite muppet is. The best part is that not one of them has asked me why. NOT ONE. People just love muppets! Anyone who doesn’t is a serial killer and/or rapist and you should get away from them as soon as possible and definitely NOT date them.
Here is your muppet man guide:
If they like Gonzo they are artsy. They probably live in Venice. They probably have facial hair. They probably enjoy bizarre, kinky sex.
Boys who choose Kermit are mellow and usually trustworthy. But in reality they probably just couldn’t think of another muppet and/or felt that they had to choose Kermit because they also play the guitar.
If they chose Miss Piggy they are probably gay.
Guys who like Animal are most likely fun social types who don’t necessarily have to play an instrument but aren’t necessarily not doing cocaine.
Those who chose any of the Fraggles are stoners and were probably watching Fraggle Rock when you asked them who their favorite muppet was, but were too stoned to appreciate the coincidence.
Fans of The Swedish Chef are into improv. This is also true if they chose Fozzie Bear, but are probably more into writing or stand-up than Improv.
If they chose Rowlf they are kind, goofy, and endearing. Good boyfriend material.
Statler and Waldorf, AKA The Old Dudes in the Balcony, are introspective types. They probably blog.
Out of all of the guys I asked, these were the muppets I heard about the most. If they chose any other muppets, one of the lesser known ones like Rizzo The Rat, then they are thoughtful, quirky and maybe even trying to get into your pants. The other possibility though is that they just really love The Muppets.
{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
my boyfriend said "beaker"
sooo…yeah.
how many guys did you poll for this?
ha ha rowlf is my favorite. i don't think rizzo is that unheard of though for anyone who has seem muppet'schristmas carol.
Its like my brains just got kicked in the nuts by the truth of this chart.
This is pretty excellent. And the Doozers are my favorite, for whatever that's worth.
My boyfriend said Beaker, as well!
Wait, I said Beaker too, what's so wrong with that? Though he's really nothing without his abusive lover Bunsen Honeydew
Yeah, I'm gonna go with Gonzo. He was the only muppet who I collected figurines or stuffed animals of as a kid. And all of the assertions you made about Gonzo fans are true, sans the Venice part. I live in Austin.
Grover.
Ditto
I'm a girl, but definitely a fan of Beaker myself. Can't believe he got shafted there.
just texted my stoner ex (who literally smokes weed all day everyday, hence the EX part) to ask what his favorite muppets are and he replies
fucking fraggle rock!
girl you are swimming in a sea of right.
GENIUS! I've been with my man for nearly 16yrs and haven't asked him. I will tonight! Laughed so much at that post. A note on another post, if you meet Dylan from 90210 could you let him know he has Scottish fans too. Thanks. Jo x
This is awesome. I always loved Animal, and now even more so that I know how awesome I am on drums. In Rock Band.
With all of the new videos of Muppets covering songs, I want to see Animal do Woman by Wolfmother.
I too choose Beaker… if only for this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUxwpOQ_A
Beaker
I'm scared of muppets. I don't *think* I'm a rapist or a serial killer, but then, I would say that.
Very much enjoyed this post.
Always been a fan of Guy Smiley from SS. He is like the perfect talk show host parody..
Wow, were my Kermit/Swedish Chef choices that transparent?
Love this! Rowlf is for sure my favorite. My fiance likes Fozzie. However, I'm the one who's into stand-up, and he's the kind, goofy, and endearing one. Maybe we were attracted to each other because deep down, we knew we'd found our perfect Muppet.
This is alarmingly accurate
Muppet Babies. Nanny. Thought she was my mom in cartoon form. -Danny
this stoner/hippy guy i like said beaker… but to be fair, i am a rather abusive person… i also asked if he could think of any others and he said no… what does that tell you?
God damn people mixing up Sesame Street and the Muppets. My ex-boyfriend said “Snuffy.” It was one of those moments when I was like, shit dude, I’m glad I’m not sleeping in your bed anymore.
On a related note, Snuffy is pretty cool.
what about guys that liked Beaker the most?!?!?
My girlfriend sent me the link, but asked me to answer the question first before I clicked on the link. This is what I emailed her.
Gonzo was always my favorite when I was a kid. Still is probably king of the muppets for me.
Floyd was always the muppet I wanted to be, because he was so cool and he played sax. He’s part of the reason why I learned saxophone.
Pepe the King Prawn is my favorite new muppet, closely followed by Bobo the Bear.
Statler (somehow more than Waldorf) appeal more and more to me the older I get.
There is no NOT loving Kermit as the perfect moral compass within a collection of id-driven characters populating a sweet but immoral world.
Grover is my favorite Sesame Street muppet, followed by Ernie.
The Yip Yip Aliens were always my favorite “abstracts”.
So I guess I’m a fun artsy sax playing type who is in to kinky sex. I’m waaay too into the Muppets for a 30-something who has a blog.
I also have a really good understanding of the difference between near and far, as well as an unhealthy love of rubber duckies.
Oh yeah, I was totally trying to get into her pants.
{ 2 trackbacks }