September 2010

Sep

28

2010

Single Ladies.

So if you’re mad, get mad. – The Pretenders We need to have a conversation. Here’s why. I just turned on Oprah and she’s interviewing Jenny McCarthy about her break-up with Jim Carrey. I don’t have anything against either of them, but are you fucking kidding me? This is your last year of your show [...]

{ 30 comments }

Posted in: I'm typing so fucking hard I might break my fucking Mac book Air, rampant use of the word fuck, relationships

One of my all-time favorite movies in the world is “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.” It’s a movie that makes me believe anything is possible if you have a young, rich, well-connected aunt in Los Angeles. I do not. But I can still apply what I’ve learned from the film to enrich my life. [...]

{ 12 comments }

Posted in: beyond the valley of the dolls, party

Sep

20

2010

Truths.

If you have dark brown hair and you live in Los Angeles, people will describe you as “exotic.” That thing you think you’re really good at? You’re not that good at it. The moment you start liking someone is the moment when they stop liking you. The key is to let someone like you and [...]

{ 15 comments }

Posted in: Kiss On My List, Los Angeles

That’s not happiness to see me, is it? — Michael Douglas, A Perfect Murder This year for Yom Kippur bitches better atone to ME. I am DONE. I am not atoning for SHIT. I am the Kanye West of the blogging world. Bitches should be HONORED to atone their sins to ME. Sometimes I just [...]

{ 26 comments }

Posted in: bret easton ellis, fear and loathing, having a kanye moment, no i'm not drunk, rampant use of the word fuck

  It’s a Zen thing, like how many babies fit in a tire. — Waiting for Guffman   I’m going to make a conscious effort, right here and now, to stop giving myself an ulcer. I am not past Almie or future Almie; I am present Almie. I can’t just sit back and let Future [...]

{ 16 comments }

Posted in: i guess this is advice, let's hug it out, let's just talk from our hearts, life lessons

Sep

2

2010

Silverlake.

  Jon Hamm’s girlfriend met Jon Hamm at a party in Silverlake.   You know who I meet at parties in Silverlake? The Internet. Attractive men with equally attractive twee little girlfriends. Grown men in Ninja Turtle T-shirts and neckbeards. Men of indeterminate sexual orientation. Poor clones of George Harrison and Cat Stevens. Rapists. Pirates. [...]

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{ 26 comments }

Posted in: dating, Los Angeles, mad men, no i'm not drunk, relationships