I mean it takes courage just to be you. To get out of bed every single day knowing full well you gotta be you. I couldn’t do it! I ain’t that strong and I ain’t that brave. — The Office
Some days when I wake up and walk out the door I feel like I’m walking off a plank. Sometimes my hands are tied behind my back and sometimes I’m blindfolded. Sometimes there are crocodiles in the water. Sometimes the water is cold. On very rare occasions Peter Pan swoops in and rescues me before I hit the water, but usually it’s up to me to save myself. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. Sometimes the best way to do it is not to think about doing it. Sometimes I really don’t care what happens to me; to quote the scary Russian man from one of those Rocky sequels, “If he dies, he dies.” I put on my whatever glasses and look at the world through the lenses of crystal-clear indifference.
I gotta have faith. If I don’t have faith then I may as well give up and go on Cruise control. And I don’t mean like in cars, I mean I may as well go batshit crazy and jump on furniture and let my delusions completely take over. It can be a struggle not to do this. This is why I have to have faith. I have to have faith that shit is going to work out for me. I have to have faith that my feelings are not facts. I have to have faith that there is something good coming for me.
The hardest thing is not to get caught in the “how.” How and faith don’t work well together. Wondering how something will happen can destroy you. You need to think about the why or the because. You need to just believe in you and that you are enough and that the bridge from here to there will emerge. Honestly the best thing to do is not to think about it. Just do what you do, have faith, believe in yourself, maybe stop hating yourself, and see what happens. The more you think about something the less clear it will seem.
It is possible that I will one day walk out of the house feeling like the pirate instead of the captured. Maybe, one day, like the Great Captain Hook, I too will have an old sea shanty written in my honor. Or a song like the one Gaston had. People should be singing about the cleft in my chin. I’m just going to keep jutting it out into the world and see what happens.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Things will definitely work out for someone as talented as you are! You seriously are the Carrie Bradshaw of our generation, except, you know, you’re a real person. And you don’t obsess about guys who aren’t worth your time for an entire season only to eventually go back to the same guy who then acts like a selfish baby AGAIN and completely gets his way by having the small wedding, all while telling your best friend whose husband and baby daddy cheated on her that she needs to forgive him because “he is sorry.”
Anyway, you have a gazillion blog and twitter followers, so it is only a matter of time before you have a best-selling book and a leading role on Mad Men.
I read this comment twice. The first time was just a cursory read; the second time was to relish it. Thank you thank you thank you.
i think this post might have seriously just changed my whole outlook on life…seriously.
This, this post right here, is why I’m sickly and insanely obsessed with this blog. Grand slam knocked out of the fucking park home run, Almie.
Whoa, really? Thank you.
i believe in you.
We believe in you Almie!
This is exactly- EXACTLY what i needed to read today. All day long i worry about shit that is not in my control, why do i even pretend like it is?!
Thanks for having such a fan-freakin-tastic blog. it is refreshing & the day i broke up with my bf i happened upon your “how to get over a break-up” video. kept me laughing the whole night opposed to crying… (which i did decide to start TWO MONTHS after we broke up. life is a weirdo.)
keep your (cleft) chin-up buttercup. ; )
xo-
Aw, this is just enchanting. Thank you. I’m glad I could help!
“I put on my whatever glasses and look at the world through the lenses of crystal-clear indifference.”
that basically describes my life. you are an artist with words, remember how talented you are! <3
xoxo
This is exactly what I needed to read at this moment in my life… What really stuck out for me was when you said:
“Wondering how something will happen can destroy you.”
I absolutely agree… just gotta have faith (as you also said) and know that you have been through many other storms and you can make your way through this one too!
I swoon for a George Michael reference every single time. Faith is a tricky word…but I dig where you and your out-thrust chin are coming from. Mostly because I my stubborn jaw and I reside there, too.
Yep! This is in all of the positive thinking books I’ve read. And whatever you desire usually arrives when you’re least expecting it. The minute you surrender your desire to the universe and just decide to enjoy the day, is usually when it appears.
Great post,
If you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. –Conan O’Brien
They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. –Edgar Allen Poe
things will work out. –me.
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