A woman with curves.

 vintage bathing suits

When men say that they like, “a woman with curves” what they mean is chest curves and ass curves. They don’t mean, “Yes, please have a little tummy that spills over the top of your underwear.” They mean, “I love big boobs.” They don’t mean, “Girl, I love it when you gain 10 pounds and look 5 months pregnant.” (Well, some men want that, but those are not the men I’m referring to. That’s a festish, not the norm.) They mean, “I don’t like a flat nonexistent ass” not “I love it when your thighs ripple and wobble when you walk.” Curvy means a large chest and a tiny waist and a rounded butt. Curvy does not mean a curved lower tummy and armpit fat. Next time you hear a man say he likes a woman with curves, ask him for an example. He’s going to say Kate Upton, not Melissa McCarthy. And I hate that.

There’s so much bullshit out there. Everyone loves to say, “Marilyn Monroe was a size 16.” Yes, that’s in 1960s sizing which has changed over the last 40 years. Today she would be a size 4. Have you seen that girl’s tiny waist? And as she got more famous, she lost more weight. (She briefly gained some when she was pregnant in “Some Like It Hot” but then miscarried.) Look at every film she’s ever done and you will realize that everyone is full of bullshit. She was the “right” kind of curvy. That’s just how sizes were marked. Then vanity sizing was invented creating a generation of confused fucking women.

And then photoshop was invented. Photographers have been touching up photos practically since photography was invented but never to the drastic degree that it is now. People are taking actresses who are already skinny and pretty and are making them tiny and mathematically stunning, and it’s insulting. Look at Kristin Wiig on the cover of “Vanity Fair” this month. “Vanity Fair” are you fucking kidding me? Are we supposed to pretend that’s what she looks like? Why do you hate women? Compare this cover to the “Marie Claire” Kristin Wiig cover from a few months and you’ll see what I mean (Google it.) Seriously, you do this all the time, fuck you, “Vanity Fair.”

A few years ago Mischa Barton gained weight and everyone attacked her, saying things like, “Lose some fucking weight!” How about instead of that, you change your fucking perspective?

I’ve struggled with my weight ever since I’ve hit puberty. I have never been this heavy in my entire life. And I know that when I say that people look at me and say, “Fuck you bitch, I’m 200 pounds, try being me, try getting insulted every fucking day for how I look, I wished I weighed what you do.” I get that. But we all have our own issues, and mine aren’t any more insignificant than yours are, because we’re all battling a common enemy.

I don’t know what we can do to change this. Something’s gotta give. We deserve better than this. We deserve a worldwide acceptence of looking like a person who eats regularly and doesn’t have a personal trainer at their disposal. We deserve to have a woman like Lena Dunham who is proud of her body and doesn’t get trashed by men and women alike for it. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.

Finally, this is just for my own curiosity: scroll back up and look at the photo of the women in bikinis. Which body do you think is “the best”?


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54 thoughts on “A woman with curves.

  1. alanna

    I have so much conflict about our bodies and our concept of how are bodies look and that we should take care of ourselves, but without hating ourselves – so much conflict that I can’t even talk about it.

    I think the woman with the black bikini or the woman to the right of her have the ‘best bodies’. But, in my opinion, they are mostly on the skinny side. And not skinny, as in lean, but skinny, as in they all have saggy skin and no shape.

  2. Dave

    Dark sunglasses is most appealing to me, to answer your question.

    Honestly, women need to just be themselves. Any woman that tries to look a certain way because she thinks that’s what she’s supposed to do — she’s going to attract men who care about that stuff. Women that ignore all that stuff, just be themselves, will attract the men that care about what matters.

  3. Alexandra

    I disagree with the notion that men want a woman with big boobs and a fat ass. Men want a girl who is in touch with her femininity and who feels comfortable in her own skin. I know it’s probably a bad example (because she has big boobs), but I think Sofia Vergara is one of the most beautiful women on TV. And by no means is she skinny. But Sofia is proud of her figure and holds herself like she is beautiful. THAT is what makes her stunning. She’s made a choice to look in the mirror everyday and say to herself, “Hey, gorgeous.”

    I believe we have to each take responsibility for our own body images. Long ago did I stop reading fashion magazines that make me feel less than adequate as a woman. I refuse to allow myself to get caught up in this idea that society is making me feel a certain way about my size and shape. In the end, *I* get to choose how I feel about my body. Although there are days that I struggle, I try to always come back to a place of acceptance and self-love.

    The “best body” in that photo is the girl in the black bikini IMO – but most likely because she’s also wearing the biggest smile 😀

    1. Lidia

      Not sure if you got what Almie was trying to say. Sofia Vergara might not be “skinny” in comparison to models like Kate Moss but she has a a tiny waist, no fat peeking out from her body…. of course she is proud of her figure, who wouldn’t be proud of looking like that?! She’s considered “curvy” because she has a butt and boobs but her body type is even HARDER to achieve than Kate Moss. It’s impossible to get all your body fat to go to your boobs and butt yet have a toned body and a tiny waist, yet, people act like “yay, curvy is back in!” like the curvy bodies they are portraying are any more achievable than the super skinny ones from the past. Like Almie said, people refer to curvy as Kate Upton (or like you, Sofia Vergara) not Melissa McCarthy.

      Almie, I’m so glad someone finally wrote what I’ve been arguing for so long!

      1. Alexandra

        I understand completely what Almie was trying to say. I, too, have struggled with body image my entire life, since the 7th grade when I went on Weight Watchers and lost weight that I then proceeded to gain back in college plus ten pounds. I’ve struggled with borderline anorexia and night eating disorder, and only has it been in the last two years or so that I’ve made some kind of peace with my body (though from time to time, those fears and insecurities rear their ugly heads). My argument is that it’s not about ideal size or shape – it’s about how we view ourselves. We place the burden on ourselves to have these bodies with big boobs and flat tummies, but men like women who are secure in their bodies, regardless of shape and size. When you feel sexy, the male psyche will follow.

        Almie, you say you don’t know what we can do to change this. I think you’re absolutely gorgeous, but none of that matters until you do. It’s not how I or society perceives you, it’s how you perceive yourself. That is the counterpoint I am trying to make :)

        Love your blog, btw.

    2. Kate

      Sofia Vergara wears fucktons of makeup and tweets pictures of her own ass from award shows. I’m not sure how that’s supposed to shatter any stereotypes or change anyone’s minds about women. Have huge boobs constantly on display, ham up an accent, and play dumb? Sounds like an age-old insecurity fest.

      1. Alexandra

        Wow, a little abrasive there. Well, everyone’s entitled to his or her opinion. I obviously don’t know her personally, but I like her and I think she seems comfortable in her own skin. With her sexuality. All of it. And maybe she’s not really. But I think looking down on her because she wears makeup, has an accent, and has huge boobs is rather insulting. What’s wrong with women wearing makeup? What’s wrong with dressing up and showing off the parts of our bodies we’re proud of? I guess she should wear no makeup, hide all her assets, and go back to her home country? Please. That’s not embracing femininity either.

        1. Kate

          Me having a problem with a woman turning herself into a living stereotype does not mean that I’m a racist, or that I hate women. I wear makeup, have big boobs, and have an accent. The difference is that I am not on television pretending to be a total idiot who is incomprehensible, but is kept around for her enormous breasts and her “Latina temper.” I’m sorry if you think that that is any kind of progress, or “embracing femininity.”

          1. Alexandra

            I don’t know how we got onto that I somehow worship Sofia Vergara as some kind of feminine goddess! I simply wanted to point her out as someone I feel makes no apologies about being who she is, back fat and all. But some people don’t like Sofia, and that’s cool. Again, we are entitled to our own opinions. There are plenty of other women (of ALL shapes and sizes) who I believe embody that ideal. Oprah, Ellen Degeneres, Marie Forleo, Danielle LaPorte, etc. etc. For the most part, I believe these women may struggle with insecurities from time to time (as we all do, male or female), but they are generally fine with who they are and what they look like – regardless of societal standards of beauty.

  4. Kalliste

    Honestly, I think it mostly depends on the guys. Recently I decided I wanted to be fitter and healthier (plus my pants were getting a little on the tight side). After losing about 4kg (8lbs) the people that actually noticed and commented were my boyfriend and another male friend. Both of which questioned why I was losing weight and why would I want to do that!

    I agree with Alexandra above, I think men are attracted to women who are confident and comfortable with themselves regardless of where their curves are.

    In regards to the photo, I think that overall the woman in the black bikini is the most attractive.

  5. Lidia

    In regards to Alexandra and Kalliste’s posts above, yes confidence can certainly be a huge turn on. I agree that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect someone else to love you, no matter how great you look. Men (and women) do indeed find confidence sexy. Unfortunately though, confidence doesn’t replace looks completely. If it did, then why don’t we ever hear men say how hot Nikki Blonksky, Gabourey Sidibe (Precious), Mellisaa McCarthy, and Amber Riley are? They say they like curvy, but they never use that type of women as examples, they use Christina Hendricks or like Alexandra above, Sofia Vergara as an example of how they like girls with “some meat on their bones”.

    The point is that unfortunately the messages the media sends about body image are messed up. Now it seems that if you are not the perfect type of curvy you are accused of being too thin and of having an eating disorder. But if you are curvy but not in a perfect hourglass shape then you are accused of being too fat.

    Alexandra- I do also agree with you that the best thing we can do is to decide for ourselves how WE feel about OUR bodies. it’s a challenge but it really is the only thing we can do.

  6. D

    As someone who doesn’t have a professional photoshop toucher-upper at their disposal, you’ve never looked anything less than stunning to me.

    Good post.

  7. amanda

    i recently came across similar old photos of ladies in bikinis. i was simultaneously fascinated and inspired and depressed. you’re touching on a subject that means a lot to me and i appreciate it.
    “We are seeing that our curves are allowed to be sexy, but only in specific forms.”
    i agree: something’s gotta give. for those of us who swing from confidence (fuck these bullshit standards of beauty!) to self-hatred (eating disorder/self-harm).
    obviously, i think talking about it is the first step. pointing out the flaw in this “women with curves” business.
    regarding the above photo, my body probably resembles 3rd from the right, but i think the 2nd from left and 2nd from right are the better bodies :-/

  8. Hails

    We shouldn’t be saying whose body is “best” to begin with. I think that is a step toward positive change.
    Meanwhile I sit here really unhappy with my body because LOL SOCIETAL PRESSURES.

  9. Mila

    Almie, I totally agree! People are like “oh, full women are beautiful, women with curves are so awesome”, but then they’re like “oh God, look at her belly, it’s disgusting”. I hate this so much! I am girl with really big breasts and big hips, but I also have bigger belly or shoulders. And people don’t like it, but well… I finally like myself. I am proud of my body, it’s perfect and I am just trying to not think about people who hates me. But it’s getting harder, because even my mother is like “omg, I need to loose weight, you should to, you are fat!”. It always makes me feel sad.

  10. Kelly L

    Um, yes, this, times like a bajillion. I’m all crabby now because society is an asshole so I don’t really have anything to contribute other than OMG I KNOW and yeah. I hate feeling like I’m fat all the time, I hate myself every time I eat anything (no matter what it is), I am constantly self-conscious and I’m about two pounds away from just wearing hoodies every day. BLARGH.

  11. Jessica

    Many of my friends have told me that their guys think my body is “sexy” and they “love my curves” (i’m an athletic size 10)…but guess who those guys are dating? My friends. The skinny ones. I’ve never had problems really with dating or getting laid, but I think there is often a bigger hurdle to overcome with the media crap and “norms” that are put on EVERYone. I think guys fall into it. Women certainly do too. It can be worse depending on what field you work in or what part of the country you live. Obviously in certain settings it’s even worse (i.e. the entertainment industry).

    At the end of the day, and after years of self-reflection and major eating disorder/food/weight battles, I’m relatively over caring. I try to have a sense of humor and treat myself right, which lends to my body feeling better, and by extension, my head feeling better. Get your head right and the body stuff doesn’t feel quite as important (and will follow, btw)

    P.s. “fat” is not a character flaw. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

  12. Allies

    Love this post and I agree with mostly everything said in it and in the comments but something that hasn’t been brought up is the language surrounding this.

    “curvy” should not be a polite way of saying “fat.” you can be a size 0 and still have curves as pointed out in the many examples of famous women given in this post. “curvy” is a body shape and most curvy girls will tell you they can lose weight but the boobs and bum and hips and thighs never go away.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely a larger girl but it’s seems silly to get annoyed at men for using curvy to describe women like Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara etc when it’s really women who have appropriated the word curvy to mean overweight rather than try to de-stigmatize the word “fat.”

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      Yup, that’s kind of what I was trying to say, except I think I only barely hinted at it. Thank you for putting it into words.

  13. Melissa Marie

    I’ve never been a super tiny girl or a super big girl. Average has been the name of my game. And yes, that average = belly hangs over my pants often and these thighs smack together.

    I find that regardless of who is on the cover of a magazine, I get just as much action at size 14 as size 8 so long as I just own who I am with pride and confidence. Not that “getting a man” is my litmus for life-success or size-success, but most men are just excited to be naked with someone.

  14. Laura Marie

    This totally reminds me of the big Glamour story from a few years back, the one about the woman with the “normal” stomach. (See here: http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2009/08/on-the-cl-the-picture-you-cant.html)

    I remember showing it to my guy friends at the time, and all of them were like: “YES! THIS is the issue. This is how every girl looks, and how we want them to look, because we don’t want them to starve and hate themselves and be insecure all the time.”

    Easier said than done, of course, but I’ve always returned to that article because I remember thinking how beautiful she was, and wondering why I couldn’t feel the same about myself, you know?

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      I remember that. I remember how angry it made people. I thought anger was a very odd reaction, and very telling. And I wondered if all of the women and men (especially men) standing up for her saying, she’s beautiful! were just lying. But maybe that’s okay, because maybe lies will become the truth if we tell them enough. Maybe we want to believe, so we’ll make it so. That would be great.

      I honestly don’t understand though why any man would find her stomach appealing. I’m not saying that she should feel ashamed; she should NOT. She’s an attractive woman and I wish every woman in every magazine looked like her, in the sense that “flaws” are shown not as detriments but as normal as anything else.

      But let’s be real: I think most women would rather have a midsection like Olivia Wilde’s, than to have this woman’s stomach. If all anyone had to do was snap their figures to get their perfect body part, who wouldn’t do that?

      Dudes reading this, what do you think of this woman’s stomach?

      TL;DR: just read it.

      1. Kate

        I would so so much rather look like the Glamour photo than Olivia Wilde. And all of the men I know are like Laura Marie’s friends- they totally prefer Glamour girl too. Women tend to hold themselves to this ridiculous standard that men don’t actually expect, and many couldn’t actually handle.

        Of course men like the girl in Playboy- that doesn’t mean that they want you to get a boob job. And they don’t want to date that vain, fake girl who’s probably just as insecure as everyone else. If you have a little Glamour tummy, and you feel sexy with it, 90% of men AND women will either not look twice at it, or will say, DAMN, I want to take that girl’s pants off.

        I weigh 150, which means that I have boobs and a butt but also a little stomach, and I you know what? I just so don’t care anymore. Because I stopped reading shitty women’s magazines and started reading real-girl-sexy blogs like this one. And because when you stop comparing yourself to Olivia fucking Wilde, it is possible to realize that you’re just fine.

        Also, fuck any guy who protests over a little belly when he’s getting a great ass or chest out of the whole girls-eating-food deal.

      2. Laura Marie

        Perfectly put! You nailed it. At the end of the day, for me, I think it’s become a matter of accepting vs. striving — personally, there are parts of my body I “accept” because they’re healthy and let me do the things I need to do, but I struggle to “accept” them aesthetically and still strive to make them better. Because, let’s get real here, you’re totally right: Who wouldn’t snap their fingers for the perfect body?

  15. MC

    I empathize and I think you get too preoccupied with body image, but that’s only because I’ve been obsessive in the past and have let it go (arguably too much!) Dude, I’m a stripper and have gone from an 83Ib anorexic of 18, to borderline anorexic 19/20 year old in the 100-108Ib range, to “normal” 115-130 range since then and I’m on the tip top of that spectrum right now (mind you, I’m short). I’m not 100% satisfied with my current body and have even blogged about not getting hired and losing a stripping job over my weight (I was also relegated to day shifts instead of night shifts when I first started at my current club). I’m not above average, but for my industry I am. I’m subject to the judgment of strangers every day, and most men are kind, with the occasional asshole, but stripping has also made me super confident in the fact men like a healthy girl, but most importantly a confident girl with a winning personality. Guys who prefer skinnier girls are sold on me when we hit it off, and guys who judge the skinny girls as underweight often come around based on their chill personalities. I dig where you’re going with the picture and “skinny fat” terminology, though. I’m fortunate to have perky tits and firm skin despite some extra pounds, and there are skinnier girls who are far, shall we say, lumpier and limper looking than I.

  16. Hannah Susan

    “Curves” is one of those over used phrases that has lost its meaning. I think what people mean is that they love or desire an hour glass figure. They want women to be large in two sections, but not the rest of their bodies. They don’t want to see any imperfections.

    You often hear people say things about Marilyn Monroe’s figure, her dress size and other falsities about women from her era, but the truth is, women in the 40s and 50s were thin or they wanted to be. Women often wore corsets to appear thinner and to suck in their stomachs. Fad diets existed. Guides on how to find and capture a husband (Which mainly focused on appearance) were sold regularly.

    Rita Hayworth was 5’6 and 120 pounds for most of her career. Marlene Dietrich had difficulties with her weight, so she only ate one meal every other day while she was on location or in Hollywood shooting a film. Judy Garland also had weight issues and in some films, most notably her final one with MGM, Summer Stock, she fluctuates from rail thin to pudgy. Greta Garbo was practically ignored by studio bosses when she first arrived in Hollywood, until she dropped a significant amount of weight.

    People love to idealize the past as more accepting of women’s figures and worshiping curves, but I don’t see much evidence of that being true. Women have always been made to feel like they aren’t good enough or that they are only defined by their bodies.

    The media portrays it as a recent way of thinking, but this mentality has existed for decades. It only seems recent because of the internet, the overwhelming surplus of tabloid magazines being sold in nearly every store you visit, entertainment news shows, plastic surgery being accepted as a positive way to combat self image issues and so on. I’m sure if all of these things existed in the 50s, people would be just as catty and critical of others.

    I’m not sure if this mindset will ever change, but it starts with every woman accepting themselves and not stressing over every little thing. No one is perfect and it’s not the end of the world. How that message will get across, I honestly don’t know.

    On a personal note, since you asked, I love the two women at the very right end. They remind me of cheesecake models.

  17. Gene

    Probably the things that annoy me most with this issue is:
    -That no thin girl has an eating disorder, or obsessive issues with restricting their foods, they’ll (nearly) all tell you they’re “naturally thin”.
    -When something stressful happens in a female friend’s life and they lose heaps of weight suddenly, to the point where bones are sticking through their skin, the first thing people write on facebook is “OMG you’ve lost so much weight, you look fantastic.”
    -Guy friends who have size 6 girlfriends, followed by a heavier/less pretty looking female best friend who they spend more time with.
    -Female ‘friends’ who tell you your boyfriend’s ex is hotter than you… than when you meet her, you realise she’s not prettier/smarter/funnier/cleverer/kinder/better dressed at all- what they meant, was thinner.
    Basically… I’ve learnt to be more careful with the company I keep, because being around ‘fun’ people who think like this, actually isn’t a good thing at all. Over time, your perspective gets subconsciously skewed. So yeah, these are the warning flags. I’m kind of into people with great style and awesome minds at the moment :)

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  19. michi

    Hi there, I recently discovered the hellogiggle site and reached here. Now reading all the articles of contributers. I enjoyed reading this one very much and for the first time I think I learned the meaning of “curving”. I am a woman, btw. I won’t miss an ooporunity to ask what is the definition of “curves” if guys ever mention it, and when I reply to them I will probably correct them like in this article!

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  21. Jon

    An interesting, but still very old issue, I mean, as old as human existance.
    There is only one thing that is decisive, which is, nature likes vertility.
    For men, this means athletic.
    For women it means waist-hips-ratio is ideally 0,7 (70 – 100).
    50 or 75 kilos, weight is not that important. Also boobs are not that important, but more a matter of taste. What really matters, that this 0,7 waist-hips-ratio is there.
    Women with belly-fat are simply less vertile, for fat around her reproduction organs. Investigations all around the world, from western, developed countries to tribal, primitive communities, which never had been influenced by our cultures, had EXACTLY the same preferences.
    This is something what nature dictates inside every persons (male and female) brain. An athletic man is more attractive (read, more fertile) than a beer-bellied one.

    To conclude, nature is cruely unfair towards the misfortunates. So, try to get rid of belly-fat or live with it and accept a lesser god in your personal life.
    Concerning the picture that Laura-Marie brought in, men would prefer this woman definitely without. That men still like her has much to do with her looks and the fact, that if she has a belly, he is also allowed not to be perfect. Too perfect would make him worry about himself and about “am I the one & only”-insecurities.

    Concerning the picture above this article, the prettiest body by far is the girl in the black bikini, for obvious reasons (apart from the fact, that she also seems the most gay and happy person)


  22. Ami

    I’m a little late reading this but i just wanted to say that i think us women are waaaay more conscious and strict when it comes to body issues than men. We make it way bigger a deal than they do. I’m not saying it’s wrong to want to be healthy and to look our best possible, but I’ve never heard a man talking about ‘analogies’ of a woman’s body. I just think that we overanalyze it and they really don’t. When they look at a woman, they see an overall image that’s greatly affected by her confidence. Let’s be honest, we do want men to like us and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I believe that we shouldn’t worry as much about ‘what they want’ because I don’t think they are that demanding after all.

  23. Jon

    This depends largely on, what is important for each gender in the mating-process. And this affects us and makes one concern and/or (in)confident about. Lots of analysing means most of the time a way to avoid to take the proper action, instead of talking & retalking
    Concerning your topic, women tend to emphasize on the wrong issues & then start to complain about men. Men like in a woman formost 1. physical health and 2. a joyful personality. (which will secure them of a heatthy offspring and a joyful relationship)
    Many women however hardly workout and are many times naggy and hard to please.
    No wonder they have trouble to find a decent partner?
    I have visited US a couple of times and I was shocked to see the unhealthy physical state of a majority of women, even very young ones. And women get in some vicious circles of more buying and shopping, with the same results over & over again.
    And then all the money spend on clothes and beauty-stuff is money wasted-down-the-drain, because men do see right through this in splits of seconds.

  24. Jessica

    I so agree with this article. It seems like these days if you’re not incredibly beautiful and very, very skinny then you’re fat and you’re not good-looking enough. It is so stupid and it makes no sense because most of the people in this world are average looking and do not have amazing bodies.

    1. Jon

      @ Jessica
      My dear, on one hand I feel sorry for you, that you feel this way, because nobody is a victim of culture, or fashion, or whatever. We can only be volunteers.

      On the other hand, honestly, it is NOT about skinny, it is about being HEALTHY, which is a major difference.
      I travelled all over Europe and both Americas, North & South.
      Nowhere do you find more people with so much belly-fat as in the USA.
      This all comes from eating-habits. The main reason is, US-people consume enormous amounts of sugar, which is called ‘the white poison’. or ‘the slow white killer’.
      Jessica, cut all the sugar and limit the carbohydrates from pasta and bread. Your body will love you for that. And so will the men.
      So…, read the labels!!!

  25. Alley G.

    I don’t know about Marilyn being a size 4 by today’s standards… an 8 is more like it, 6 at least. Have you seen her thighs? (she looked great, though.. healthy. Which should be considered attractive).

    It’s sad how people waste their lives worrying about weight. Ultimately, being comfortable should be the goal. Fuck what other’s have to say.

    “Those who mind don’t matter.. and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Suess

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  27. natalia pardalis

    Great article :) I think that as women we’re too hard on ourselves. We tell ourselves what men want and what they like and what they don’t like. Go to any elementary school when moms are dropping off their kids. You’ll see fat women, tall women, skin women, ugly women, you name it! Someone married them! I’ve been talking to my married friends about this very subject and all the men were just concerned that their wives didn’t work out enough. (side not, the women had the same concern about their husbands)

    Other the years as well, as a curvy woman — I’ve never had trouble getting dates and guys I’ve dated always would tell me not to lose weight if i mentioned it to them. lol Actually they seemed to buy chocolate too.

    I think we need to stop feeding into the monster that has been created. You are a beautiful woman – so what if you’re 200 pounds. I’m more concerned if you are happy and healthy.

    Eat healthy, work out and I have an amazing cheesecake recipe if you want xoxo

    PS The iconic Marilyn is how she looked in Some Like it Hot. I think she looked incredible there. So many men have told me she’s so hot in that movie. Sadly though, she hated it and lost it after. As well, in most of her films although she was “skinny” in some parts of her body, she had weird blobs of fat in other parts. Also don’t know if you’ve ever seen this photo of her. She is clearly out of shape and although “skinny” has a very high fat content. http://sphotos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/157019_10151345797724716_1350882118_n.jpg
    I don’t think that’s attractive at all.

    PSS About the picture, I think all the women are beautiful and just normal woman. So what if some have an extra pound here and there. They look like they enjoy life and would be fun to have a margarita with them at that pool.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      Thank you for this incredibly thoughtful comment! I love that you took the time to read this and share your thoughts. Poor Marilyn got the best and worst of everything, didn’t she?

  28. Mike

    Thanks for yet another great post! Linking to this from FB I looked initially at their bodies since you asked whose figure I liked most, and I liked all of them. I usually look at women’s faces first, though, and going back to the pic after reading your post that’s what I looked at. And I think they all look glamorous and beautiful – I love their hair and their expressions, from happy to almost angsty.

    I feel sad and frequently angry that women have to deal with this constant subliminal pressure from the beauty/fashion industry to be something that most are not and could not be. I hadn’t read anything about the woman on page 194, but reading that link (which was great, and makes the point that *representation is important* very strongly) was wonderful. I think she’s gorgeous. She looks happy and vibrant (and pretty much naked, which is always a plus in my book ;), and to me that’s more important than pretty much everything else. I *like* her tummy. It’s visible in the photo, but I think pretty much everyone’s would sitting as she is (God knows mine looks horrible like that). If she stood up, I bet it would be just a bulge which is just fine with me, too. I don’t know if I’m atypical or that my Mom just raised me right, but I can separate the “ideal” from the real. I can appreciate most women in ads, TV and movies as being beautiful, but I recognize that they aren’t what most people are like and so I don’t expect that from women in real life.

    As far as the “curvy” thing, I’ve dated women from different parts of the spectrum and to me they’ve all been hot. Attraction is an odd thing, to say the least. I’ve been very attracted to women who are like that “idealized” look and equally so to ones who aren’t at all. I’ve seen women who epitomize the “ideal” to whom I haven’t been attracted *at all*. Some might say attraction is “undefinable,” but to me it’s a lot to do with personality, sense of humor, style, uniqueness, etc. Someone who has a great smile and is quick to laugh is far sexier to me than someone who doesn’t. I haven’t heard your laugh, but you have a fantastic smile and your sense of humor is exceptional. I think you are gorgeous, and it really doesn’t matter about the rest. I’m sorry that you have to deal with these BS body issues, and I’m afraid that I probably can’t offer any other suggestions apart from what others have said: find what makes you happy and be healthy and the rest will come.

    P.S. Lena Dunham is beautiful. Is that the problem of which you speak? I mean, she forgets to wear pants! How is that not hot?

      1. Mike

        Sure! :) I wish more guys had the same attitude but I guess not. That’s sad. Like you say, we’re all people. *No one* is perfect, because there IS NO “perfect” body. We all have imperfections and things we don’t like about ourselves. The sooner we realize that and try to empathize with others instead of pointing out what we think is “wrong,” the better we will be as human beings. I absolutely love this: http://reelfoto.blogspot.com/2012/08/howard-schatz-and-beverly-ornstein.html It shows how there isn’t one perfect body; there are many of all shapes & sizes and they’re *all* perfect.

  29. Amy

    Obviously confidence is sexy. We all know that. And it isn’t just men who care about curves and the “right” size. I’ve got a 19 year old sister who gets up every morning and burns 500 calories then eats a 300 calorie breakfast so she “doesn’t gain the freshman fifteen”. She’s a size 3 and constantly complaining about how fat she is. My mother has been the same all my life. She’s now the heaviest she has ever been, weighing 150lbs and is a size 12. What did this do to me? I struggle with eating disorders. I was anorexic then struggled with bulimia for awhile then found love in all the wrong places and have struggled with binge eating disorder for 9 years now. It’s tough looking how I do and at the end of the day no matter how much people hate the way I look I hate myself more…I promise. I’ve recently started eating healthier and trying other techniques to control my binge eating when I have anxiety attacks or get really emotional. I’ve lost some weight, but it’s a very difficult struggle. The bottom line here is that WE ARE ALL PEOPLE. We all FEEL, STRUGGLE, FAIL, SUCCEED, and TRY. APPEARANCE shouldn’t make ANY difference at all in how we are viewed as individuals yet it does…and that’s such bull$hit!!!

  30. curvy girl

    It pisses me off when I describe myself as curvy (I.e.=classic hourglass figure) and people confuse it for tge p.c. way of saying im overweight. Ive gotno problem with anyone who is overweight.
    What I take issue with is bastardizing the term curvacious into something it was not originally intended to describe.
    I don’t want a man to feel like he must apologize and describe what he “really means” when paying my old school curves a compliment. That is ridiculous. Kim Kardashian may or may not annoy the hell out of you, but the woman has a beautifully Curvy figure.- And NO, im not implying she is overweight!!! :)

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