Apocalandis.

This is Max Landis.

Max, like I, has a lot to say about relationships and dating. He wrote what I thought is a very interesting piece on dating from the male perspective:

If you make your move and she says no because:
1. She’s not ready for a relationship
2. She has “problems” and doesn’t want to hurt you/get hurt
3. She doesn’t want to date anyone right now

IT JUST MEANS “NO.” DON’T TAKE IT AS SOME KIND OF DEBATE THAT YOU CAN WIN. STOP IT. STOP DEBATING WITH HER AND TRYING TO CONVINCE HER. SHE’S ALREADY THOUGHT ABOUT IT. TRUST ME.

What’s worse is that 7/10 times what she really means is SPECIFICALLY SHE DOESN’T WANT ANYTHING WITH YOU. And she’s TRYING TO BE NICE.

NO MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES. EVEN IF YOU’VE HOOKED UP WITH HER. EVEN IF YOU’VE FUCKED HER. EVEN IF SHE’S SAYING SHE WISHES SHE COULD BE WITH YOU. IT’S NOT A FAIRY TALE; IF SHE WISHED IT, IT’D BE HAPPENING.

It takes tremendous balls for a girl to straight up and come out and say “I don’t want to be with you” to one of their male friends, and most of them will do anything to skirt around it because they’re NICE (or just timid).

I’ve been in this situation MANY TIMES in my life and acted like a dumb ass. The most recent time was especially dumbasstastic.

I’ve been hearing a lot about this from both guys and girls in my life (WHY DOESN’T SHE LOVE ME?/why won’t he leave me alone?).

Girls, BE MORE FUCKING HONEST about how you feel. Put yourself first; don’t let another person’s adorable persistance trap you into lying to them to keep them emotionally safe.
Guys, LEARN YOUR FUCKING LESSON THE FIRST TIME SHE SAYS NO. Or at least WAIT A FEW MONTHS, for FUCKSAKES.

Intrigued by this honesty and view I decided it was time for another Apocalypstick video post, but this time with a twist: Max will be there with me and now you will have both a male and female take on your issues. Send all your anonymous questions, personal problems, and adorable little insults over to my formspring. We will not read them until we turn on the camera. We will be honest but not cruel and maybe we’ll all learn a little something. Expect a video post with our answers by this time next week. I think you’ll enjoy it! I hope.

Lollipop Dreams (Lil Wayne vs. Hall & Oates) — My Sick Uncle

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4 thoughts on “Apocalandis.

  1. olwyn

    I completely lost it in the part where he starts playing the cat at the end of the video, it’s pretty much the best thing I’ve ever seen.

  2. Nick Torrid

    What gets my goat is getting blown off repeatedly by a lass who acts halfway interested in person, but I’ve always got to be the one to reach out + contact. Am I supposed to PERSIST, or just TAKE IT AS A SIGN THAT IT AIN’T HAPPENING, AND GIVE UP? Because just about 100% of the time, I go with the second one.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      This is too predictable a reply. I expected better from you. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

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