So I’m watching Whitney (yeah, so what, I watch Whitney sometimes, the parts with Whitney are funny, the part with her friends not so much) and the episode is about her wearing fake boobs and how her boyfriend reacts. The episode is also about her friends being annoying and stupid but again, the interesting part is about Whitney. So Whitney wears this bra that makes her A cup a double D. And considering that Whitney is already so thin and tall and pretty, this makes her look like even more of a model, but I don’t think we’re supposed to think that way. I think we’re supposed to see Whitney as an avergae modern day gal, like a foul mouthed Mary Tyler Moore for the twitter era.
P.S. Whitney.
So anyway Whitney now has big fake boobs and this intrigues her boyfriend. And Whitney is insulted because he says that when she wears them, it’s like he “gets to be with someone else.” Our dear heroine Whitney says something like, “Why can’t you accept me for who I am?” and “Admit it, you wish I had bigger boobs” and earlier in the episode when she first gets the bra she says, “Why does everyone hate women?” which I thought was a really great line. Her boyfriend retaliates that she wishes he were different too, like why can’t he be more like Don Draper? Because she likes Mad Men and talks about Jon Hamm a lot.
The point of the episode was, if we could change our partners, would we? Or do we like them for who they are, flawed and all? And also, do women need to have big boobs?
I’m at the point where I’m happy with my boobs, even though they’re Whitney sized. It’s all about the quest for abs anyway. I’ve heard from lots of guys (and not from me asking, just from life) that they don’t really care about the size of the boobs they just care about boobs in general. Boobs are great!
P.S. Boobs.
Anyway, using this show as an example, at what point did Whitney’s boyfriend realize, “Oh wait, my girlfriend has small boobs” and decide it wasn’t a big deal? In between the time when you started dating your sig other and the time when you became a long term item, when do you come to terms with something and accept it or decide that it needs to be changed or you’re done?
And no, this isn’t based on me or anything going on in my life. This is all Whitney.
i hate my boobs 🙁
Why?
Very nice post. Sometimes we just don’t trust ourselves. That’s the only conceivable reason I could imagine waking up one day and deciding that my wife’s breasts didn’t cut it. Shouldn’t I have noticed that before? Or perhaps they suddenly don’t seem so great because I’m looking for an excuse? Any excuse? If your significant other’s physical features are suddenly a problem it seems to me that you can’t trust yourself. At one point in time you accepted limitations or flaws or the spectacular or whatever, so why the change in heart? If you ever truly love someone – at the moment it happens – you accept all their foibles. Love doesn’t happen if you don’t. Lust can happen, but lust seems all about boobs.
“Or perhaps they suddenly don’t seem so great because I’m looking for an excuse?” — Yes, I think you nailed it here.
Thanks for commenting, Mark!
Thanks for your posts. It’s nice to read things that are profound from people that don’t feel the need to be perceived as profound. 😉
Having pretty large ones myself, I honestly can’t see what the big deal is about them! Maybe that’s because I see them every day… Gets boring! 😉
yeah it’s probably like when tall people are told, hey you’re really tall. They probably think, yeah I guess I am.
I’m not on drugs right now.
If you’re a high-T male, trust me, you never NEVER EVER get sick of big(-ish) boobs. Nature won’t let you! Now, for me it’s all about the shape (full, round) and size (not to the point of freakishness though). Oh and petite nipps are loooovely to nibble. Whatever your size, you best be comfy with them lest you be miserable!
Word of advice, from reality: don’t fool yourself into thinking guys don’t prefer full breasts on a slim young lady, all else being equal. Accept it and move on, just like many guys have to accept they won’t get to play with such nice boobies! =D
I used to be a lot more insecure about the size of my boobs than I am now. Although a C cup sounds like a decent size, maybe even bigger than average, it doesn’t look like much on a tiny ribcage. My more well-endowed friends would never directly comment that I was small-breasted, but when they talked about how theirs were larger, and how much they loved them and how guys loved them, I frequently felt as though they were implying their boobs were better than mine, and guys liked them better. On top of that, my boyfriend repeatedly told me things like “Any guy who says he prefers smaller boobs is lying” and was open about his attraction for females with much larger boobs than mine. He never said he disliked mine, or they weren’t good enough. In fact, he frequently said that they were one of my best assets. But I couldn’t forget the compliments he made about other girls with larger boobs. Then I worked at Victoria’s Secret. I saw boobs of all shapes and sizes, in shirts, in bras, in push-up bras, but most importantly, I saw them in nothing at all. Most of them, even the fake ones, were unimpressive to me. I realized that I was very, very blessed to have what I have. I realized most larger busts don’t look nearly as sexy without the bra as they do with the bra. I realized I was lucky to have boobs that look nearly exactly the same regardless of whether or not I’m wearing a bra. Then I was able to realize that even though I didn’t have the large boobs my boyfriend seemed to like so much, he still really liked mine the way they were. I was even able to remember a conversation during which he directly said that he wouldn’t want me to get implants because they might ruin what I already have. My own exaggerated insecurities had made it impossible for me to believe he could ever be satisfied with me the way I was. This perception I had was not based in reality.
During our relationship, my boyfriend gained a lot of weight. I definitely didn’t love him less for it, and he was just as hot to me at his higher weight as he was when we began dating. Of course, no matter how much I said I was attracted to him and wanted to kiss him, etc. he did not believe me. He could not believe anyone could be attracted to him at that time. Now that he’s slimmed down and gained a lot of muscle, I find him even more physically attractive, but physical attraction only plays a very small role in my attraction to him as a whole. I think that in terms of physical appearances, the only time I would demand a change would be if I felt there was a health risk. For more abstract issues, like “I wish you were more ambitious” or “I wish you were romantic”, etc., that makes the situation much more muddled for me. You can certainly be deeply in love with someone but absolutely hate the way they lose their temper. Or maybe you’re madly in love but you want children and they don’t. Do you sacrifice your love and relationship with them for the hope of finding an even greater happiness? If you decided to break things off because you want to travel the world and have adventures and they want to settle down and have a cozy-nest domestic life, does that mean you just don’t really love them?
holy shit, what a thoughtful great comment. thank you!
I think any woman who has problems with her boobs should work at Victoria’s Secret. That sounds like a brilliant idea. Unfortunately every time I shop at Victoria’s Secret I realize that every single bra is automatically padded and it’s like, dudes fuck you, who decided that my boobs have to be padded? You didn’t even look at them. I mean, this is getting weirdly personal but thanks for this comment. I agree.
“My own exaggerated insecurities had made it impossible for me to believe he could ever be satisfied with me the way I was. This perception I had was not based in reality.” Yes. I totally relate to and understand this.
My “comment” is more like a poorly written blog post of its own.
As for VS, one of my frustrations working there was that there weren’t enough un-padded bras for me to buy with my discount. And they are not as well advertised as the push-up bras at all. The main room in my store was all about the “extreme push-up” bras. But you can find some un-padded bras (they call them demi bras to distinguish them from push-up). The following lines carry un-padded bras as well as push-up versions: Incredible, Body By Victoria, Dream Angels (my favorite!). And I believe the Showstopper bra, which was released in the fall, I think, does not even have a push-up version at all, only un-padded demi, full-coverage, and multi-way. Just so you know…
oh, and the Gorgeous bra now comes in an un-padded version, too. Okay. Sorry. I’ll stop now.
Your last paragraph is interesting. I love my husband dearly, we have two lovely kids, but I do want to punch him in the face about once every other week. I think the fact that he has the ability to make me madder than I’ve ever been at anyone in my entire life says a lot about how much I love him. Our relationship has layers. Like an onion. Or a tiramisu.
God I would love some tiramisu.
First, let me address that “Whitney” is fucking awful. AWFUL. There isn’t a show on television that I hate more right now other than possibly “2 Broke Girls”. That being said, I’ve still watched every episode because I love a good trainwreck. Last night, my reluctant devotion paid off with the line “Now I know why Katy Perry likes God so much!” .
My hairline started receding when I was a teenager. This was pretty awesome at the time since it allowed me to do things like buy cigarettes without getting carded and allowed me to drink in bars since I was 14. But as I got older, it got less cool. “Receding” became “balding” and through other events, I ended up putting on a lot of weight and I was suddenly “That fat bald guy”. But I honestly didn’t care because I was in a long term relationship when that all hit and I didn’t have to worry about that stuff because I had already tricked someone into sleeping with me regularly. Then we broke up and I was forced to fend for myself again. “Who the fuck am I going to trick into sleeping with me NOW?” I’d ask myself. “You’re not even in a band anymore! You don’t even have a gimmick to attract women now!” I’d lament. Then, I got over it all and started going on dates and got my groove back and all that good stuff. Then, one drunken night after watching Beauty and The Beast, someone asked me “What kind of girl are you attracted to?” and since Belle was the last thing crushworthy lady I had seen, I basically described her ( “Brunette, weird, likes to read, etc.” ). Then I thought about the heart of that tale and I realized that Belle’s greatest feature was her ability to look past all the body hair and the temper and see the good in someone (or evil, in the case of Gaston). So I changed my answer: I am attracted to the kind of people that are attracted to me.
I am attracted to the people who can see past my flaws and actually embrace them and connect with them and connect with ME.
The thing that I always tell people about my relationship with my girlfriend is that we are both INCREDIBLY broken individuals, but all of our jagged edges fit together perfectly. There are a million things about my girlfriend that make me INSANE, but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t change one single thing about her. She could gain a million pounds and fall into a vat of acid and be a huge Jabba The Hutt/Two-Face crossbreed and she would still be the love of my life.
As for boobs, they are a fucking TRAP. They are nature’s way of fucking with us on an epic scale. Breasts are a series of concentric circles not unlike a bullseye. They are DESIGNED to draw your eyes to them and make you notice them. So naturally, guys are going to obsess about them and want them to be bigger and rounder because humans are wired to want things to be symmetrical. Which makes girls obsess about them and causes billions of people to be insecure about something that shouldn’t matter in the slightest. It’s stupid and it’s a fucking trap. So don’t play mother nature’s game! Love your boobs and your body and instead of making yourself miserable over such things, use them as a filter to find someone worthy of your awesomeness. If a guy doesn’t like your boobs, find one that does! And hopefully he’ll also like everything else about you, too!
And finally, what is up with all the padded bras at Victoria’s Secret? Are there really girls who wear them and then take them off and say “Gotcha!” to the guy who just thought they were 3 cup sizes bigger than they actually are?
P.S.- I’m pretty drunk and revised this a lot because I got a little more ranty than usual, so I really hope this makes sense!
That is an epic post. I am stealing the sentiments, telling them to my wife, and then I will bask in her glow. Thanks dude!
You’re welcome, Mark! I hope that the part about boobs being a trap makes your wife especially glowy!
I love you guys.
Really funny post. Especially since as a lingerie designer for a VS competitor, corporate management wants those titties popping no matter what. I can talk bras all day long. At least the bras I design don’t push your jugs to your chin.
Tony….you sound familiar. You have a unique style of writing that reminds me of a Tony that I knew.
Is the world that small?
Yeah all of this is amazing. This is a blog post in and of itself. Also, agreed, the Katy Perry line was brilliant. I think the thing about women and VS/padded bras is that there really isn’t another option anymore, especially if you’re less than a C cup. All of the bras now come with padding. At least at VS. And I don’t think women even realize it anymore. I didn’t even realize it until one day my boobs were weirdly big and I was trying to find a bra in my drawer that wasn’t padded and I could only find one. One. Out of like, a decade of bras. And it made me think, “What the fuck is this shit.” I wasn’t intentionally buying padded bras. That’s just how they’re made, it’s sneaky shit. Also, again, sorry this got weirdly personal. Boobs. lol.
Yeah, yeah, I know. My own blog is coming soon. Real subtle, Uncle Almie. I’ve just been caught up in a million other projects at the moment and I tend to get a little obsessive with my stuff.
I love how you somehow think that you’re oversharing or being more personal than like every other girl ever (except the prudes). You’ve got boobs. It’s okay to talk about them. You’re not a 12 year old Japanese school girl giggling and blushing at the very thought of breasts. Apocalypstick is the real deal! Also, this VS thing is bullshit so it’s important to bring it to light! Fight the power!
But perhaps that’s just some residual hatred based on a recent trip to VS and an encounter with a salesgirl that made me feel stabby.
I like small boobs .
I am breastfeeding my 2nd child is as many years, so my boobs are a total non-issue. I must say, though, that having engorged breasts is fascinating. Must be what Pamela Anderson feels like every day. Anyway, like you, I was always more concerned with the state of my tummy than the state of my breasts. But that’s gone all to hell too, ’cause of the whole babies thing. These days I’m generally more concerned about my horribly disagreeable hair.
I breastfed my baby for only three months but working full time made me dry out 🙁 .
So anyway. Engorged boobs are beautiful. BUT PAINFUL. I have never felt such a unique itchy, heavy pain in my life! Oh wait… pregnancy… but when it’s in your boobs it’s just weird.
Anyway my engorged boobs were sort of a “gotcha!” for my boyfriend because we started dating when I was breastfeeding my daughter… I remember he was really excited to finally date a girl with big boobs… then I stopped breastfeeding… is this your first baby? Wait til you stop breastfeeding… you might be a little concerned about your breasts after that. Your boobs will be smaller, saggier, and dried out looking. Not fun. I keep hoping mine will magically inflate themselves back up from this deflated state their in.
He’s my 2nd. I had to wean my first because I was pregnant with my 2nd; my boobs have been through a lot 😛 And when I weaned her, right, my boobs got flat, and they STAYED flat throughout my pregnancy. And my stomach was like this oblong shape, so the flat boobs just SAT on top of my oblong stomach. Weird.
most guys I’ve heard from could give a shit less about the size of a girls boobs. I mean sure, most guys probably like them to be on the larger side, but as long as they are there in some form and the dude is allowed to play with them I doubt he’ll be voicing many complaints.
I’m very avid about this position in regard to underwear also: I don’t think any dude is going to complain or give a fuck about the style of underwear a girl is wearing as long as he is allowed to take them off. therefore I choose to avoid thongs because for me, granny panties are just more comfortable, and taking off a pair of grannies is equally as enjoyable for him and me as taking off a thong would be.
I love this, because even though I have big boobs, its not all sunshine and rainbows. I guess we’re rarely satisfied with what we’ve got, but having bigger boobs means its a lot harder to find well fitting clothes, impossible to find button down shirts, and nothing short of a miracle when you find a sports bra that actually works. First world problems I know.
Also, I don’t think my boobs have ever been the element holding any of my relationships together, so I doubt that I’m at much of an advantage over anyone else. I guess what I’m trying to say is that its just as easy for us girls with D cups to wish they were smaller as it is for girls with A cups to wish they bigger. And like you said, in the end it doesn’t matter. It’s all self awareness and coming to terms with the fact that your genetics are the way they are.
I like to refer to my boobs as “fun-size.” And as one of my ever so eloquent guy-friends put it, “Really anything more than a handful is just a waste.”
I get so sad when I see young women insecure or unhappy about the way they look. I’ve been there in my teens, but now I’m 23 and I’m like, fuck it. Sure I only have a B cup but you know what? WHO CARES. Answer: really, surprisingly few people do. I don’t know about you guys, but whenever I meet a girl or a guy, the last thing I think about is their cup size, abs, penis size or body fat percentage.
Maybe it’s different here (I’m from Amsterdam) than in (some parts of) the States but I just don’t think (good, worthwhile, non-scummy) people focus that much on the size of your boobs of waist or thighs as you may think they do. And a small tip for those insecure about their bodies: go to a sauna! It will make you realize women come in all shapes and sizes. (I’m honestly not saying that to make everyone feel better. I’m saying it because it’s true)(and any guy who has slept with more than one women in their life knows that).
*More than one woman
Oh boobs. They’re so interesting, aren’t they? On the one hand, perky, round, fill-your-hands boobs are supposedly the ideal. On the other, the high fashion world doesn’t design clothes for larger boobs, as Kelsey pointed out upthread. IMO, it’s a very confusing mixed message.
I have 34DD boobs, and I love them. I didn’t always love them. In fact, I wore sports bras for a while because a kid in high school told me I had “old lady boobs” on a day I didn’t wear a bra. He was a jerk – and probably still is. I forget his name, of course, but I don’t forget his rude comment. So those of us with bigger boobs are told “you must wear a bra, because your dangly boobs are unsightly – they should be perky for my male enjoyment!” I wore sports bras because they gave me the support I needed (I had horrid luck with finding regular bras that actually supported me because I thought I was a C cup). After a while, I went back to wearing regular bras, but I bought into the idea that wearing sports bras helped contribute to making them saggy. I don’t believe that anymore – they are what they are, they’re natural, they’re beautiful, and I love them. Because they’re MINE.
Then there are women with no boobs, who can be made to feel un-womanly for not having boobs at all. It is a struggle I don’t even pretend to have any experience with – but it is something to be aware of and gnash my teeth at if I hear/see anything that perpetuates such ridiculousness. No one should be made to feel like less of a woman/person for their excess or lack of bosoms on any part of the scale.
I realize this is going off on a boob-tangent, so I will briefly mention that I have struggled with changing myself for my partner for years, and only recently found the strength to stop that pattern of behavior. I am also now very acutely aware of when I try to change my partner’s appearance/behaviors to please myself (with the exception of harmful behaviors – I don’t put up with sexism from my menfolk), so I can catch myself pretty early if I slip. I am usually the “if I can’t deal with it, this relationship won’t work” type, because I would hate for someone to change themselves just for me. Too much responsibility.
Also, can I just say how much I hate VS? I never seemed to find anything that fit. And it’s fucking overpriced. Blah.
I’d be happier with my boobs if they were smaller, they hurt all the time. When I run, when I go up or down stairs, when I’m simply sitting down, not to mention back pain. But on the up side, they’re a lovely ‘shelf’ when I’m folding clothes, or cushioning if I happen to trip and fall on my face. Which happens a lot. So I guess it’s not all bad.