Thanks to photographer Raymond Liu!

Coachella is not my idea of fun; it’s more my idea of let’s make Uncle Almie cry. There’s lots of people, dirty hot sweaty people, and you have to throw money everywhere. If you can rock it out there, by all means, have fun in the assy desert. But if you’re high maintenance and totally fucking annoying like I am, Brokechella is the chella for you. Not to say that Brokechella was annoying; it was crazy fun and chill at the same time. It was a bunch of people in a warehouse getting free stuff and getting photographed and dancing to random LA bands that should be crazy famous but aren’t and eating and drinking. Big thanks to Cartel: Collaborative Arts L.A. for putting together such a creative and spirited event.

I wore this dress and I took a pic of myself like a horrible egotistical nerd but hey — everybody gets to do this once, right?

Dress courtesy of BCBGeneration.

I got there around 10:30 I think and was welcomed by this brilliant with a purposefully blinking sign:

Get it? 'Cause they're broke.

and got a sweet press badge that had my name and Apocalypstick on it and I felt cool as Bateman yo. Here’s a terrible Instagram pic:

Hey I think it's backwards.

It was really well decorated inside. Not pretentious; I didn’t see a single deer head mounted to a wall ANYWHERE. We wandered around a bit, used our drink tickets, and ran into friends new and old. I discovered the band The Dead Ships via the Brokechella website but unfortunately I came far too late to see them. I forgot I was having a garage sale that day at my house. Oops. So that took up most of my day. But I did see Tapioca and the Flea:

"We came all the way from Los Angeles. Like 15 minutes away."

I got real tired real fast because I probably need to take “BONEVA!” (– Sally Field) or something so we left not long after. And I got a goodie bag.

Yes, that's an apple.

It was a lovely evening. LA actually has a lot of great things to offer if you know where to look! So go look.