I do hope you enjoy. Thanks again for sending in your questions! We had a blast and a half.
Time for another RELATIONSHIP VIDEO!
My roommate, actress Jordan Hinson, and our fabulous friend Kaity, are doing a relationship advice video. I’ve done them before, here, with Max Landis. Now I’m relying on my gal pals to help me out.
Got a question about relationships? Dating? Sex? We’re here to help. There are three ways to send us your question:
We will do our best to answer. We will probably be drunk, so get ready for some realness.
I got this question sent to me, so I thought I’d answer it here, and ask for your opinions.
I have a dating-website related question that I suspect many people are wondering about. I recently turned 27, and now I sort of feel creepy having 18 as the lower end of my age limit. I started getting into online dating when I was 25, and it seemed reasonable at the time to just leave it as the default. Now I’m wondering how one goes about deciding what your lower limit is, because let’s be honest here, if JFK was 18 and online looking for a match, you’d be wishing your lower limit was 18. (If it’s not right now.) — Brian.
I get what you’re saying, but 18 is still waaaay too low for me, buddy. As much as I love JFK, I wouldn’t want to fool around with an 18-year-old JFK. (For JFK I’ll go as low as 21, but to be clear, that’s only because it’s JFK.) It’s all about personal preference, though I would have you ask yourself, what do you really have in common, as a 27-year-old man with an 18-year-old girl? Not a lot. She can’t even legally order drinks on your date (in America)! And we all know I love the dranks, so that’s important to me. It’s not just the booze factor, it’s an indicator of how big the gap is. Just something to keep in mind.
Personally, I keep my age range at least year older than my younger brother (we’re both in our 20’s). I made the mistake once of dating someone 3 years younger, and those 3 years when you’re in your 20’s are bigger than you’d think. It’s kind of awkward when you’re on a date and only one of you can legally drink. I know, I know, I keep going back to drinking, and again, it’s not about the drinking, it’s about what it stands for.
Now I’ve got “Young Girl” stuck in my head.
What do you guys think? How young is too young? What’s your dating age range limit?
Got a question? Send me an email and I’ll post it on my blog. Indicate if you want to use your name, a fake name, or go anon. I’m here to help!
Photo: School girls, 1956. By Nina Leen via LIFE photo archives for Google.
…To send us — Max Landis, screenwriter of “Chronicle” and Almie Rose, of the blog you’re reading right now — your questions on dating, relationships, sex, social etiquette – we’ll tackle them all! In case you’re not familiar, Max and I do a web show where we take readers’ questions and answer them as best we can. So send em on over to my formspring.
See our previous videos here.
Someone, I think it was a gentleman named Robin, wanted to know if I could write about spotting those elusive red flags that eventually destroy a relationship.
Some of these are obvious to everyone but you. Like maybe your new boyfriends eats live lizards and calls everyone “Mommy.” That’s a red flag. Sometimes you notice this behavior but you justify it. “Lizards have LOTS of protein you guys.” Suuuure.
Let’s talk about the subtle ones.
Is your new partner forthcoming with you? When you ask them about their job history or their family, do they suddenly get quiet and stare off into the distance and say, “Sometimes the lone star is the one that shines brightest.”? Or maybe they’ll say something like, “Yeah I did stuff and my family exists.” Both of those answers suck. You don’t need their work resume or their family tree, but something like, “I used to work in fashion and have a brother named Jeff and my parents are dead” is just fine.
Do they freak out if you ask to use their computer or phone? Some people don’t like other people to touch their things, fine. But do they try to hide these objects from you? When you’re out in public and their phone rings, do they give it a worried look and then when you ask them, “What’s wrong?” they say, “Oh nothing, it’s just my parents” and you’re like, “Your parents are dead” and they’re like, “Yeah, iPhones suck, right?” What is it that they don’t want you to see? If it’s their laptop it’s probably porn, and that’s okay. Just because someone looks at porn doesn’t mean that they don’t love you or don’t want to be with you. It’s nothing to freak out about, unless it gets to the point where it interferes with your daily routine lives.
They mention their ex constantly. If you ask them about their last relationship, you’re going to want to hear something like, “My last relationship was a year ago. Great guy, no bitterness, it just didn’t work out because of long distance/wanting different things/they got really ugly” or whatever. What you don’t want to hear is this story when you didn’t even ask. What you don’t want to hear is, “Hey, what do you want on your pizza?” and the response is, “My ex Rachel loved pepperoni so no pepperoni because Rachel would eat it all the time and I don’t like Rachel, I mean pepperoni.” If they mention their ex more than, say, 3 times in your first week of dating, they’re probably not ready to date.
They ask to borrow money/things and never pay them/give them back. People forget, that happens. But if you gently remind them and they say you’ll get it in __ amount of days and you don’t and they never bring it up again, that is not cool. Money ruins relationships of all kinds. Maybe you guys do a thing where one of you pays for drinks and then the next time the other one does, or whatever kind of casual thing, and that’s okay. That’s very different from, “Hey babe can I borrow three hundred dollars?” and then they disappear for a month and never bring it up again. That’s spooky. Often this starts out innocently enough with, “Can you buy this gum for me, is that cool?” but it can end with, “Baby I sold your Lexus, is that cool?” It is not cool, Charles. Not cool.
They only call you late at night to “hang out.” They don’t call you to hang out during the day, or invite you to public places, or to meet their friends. Unless they are a vampire, one of those “True Blood” vampires not the “Twilight” vampires, then this basically means that they want you for sex and nothing else. Nothing is going to come from this. I’m sure you heard stories about how, “My friend Chelsea’s friend Sarah started seeing this guy Zach and his brother Franco started seeing her and it was strictly a friends with benefits thing but now they’re married and living in Milan!” No. No. Sit down. Stop giving us hope that this will ever happen. This might happen if you start out as friends. Because at least there is something to build on. But the chances of this turning into something real, of this person actually caring about you when you’re not in their apartment at 3 Am, is about 3%.
I’m sure there are plenty more. What are your red flags?
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU EVERYONE! Thank you for sending me your questions! I loved them! (Except for that one question and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I think I may know who you are too. And I don’t understand. Also you’re misinformed and rumors aren’t very nice.) Whatever! Yay! Now I just have to edit it together. Look for it by the end of the week! To thank you for your questions and your patience I present you with a weird — yet astounding in its ability to work — mash-up