Category Archives: clothes

~Fashion Post~ Ariat Boots Edition

Almie Rose

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Ariat.

FASHION IS HERE! I asked you guys what you would like to see more of on my blog, and some of you answered fashion posts, so here you go: a ~~fashion post~~ featuring Ariat boots! Here I am being ~~casual~~ in my York Ariat boots with a BCBGeneration coat, SideOne Dummy records tee, and black jeans that I think are from the GAP and who cares anyway, because black jeans are black jeans. And jeans with boots is as classic a combination as Ringo Starr and a Mexican accent (see the 1969 film Candy.) Ariat does both really well, by the way (the jeans and the boots, guys, not the Ringo thing). They’re a classic American company with innovative, stylish riding wear, like if Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy was a person.

Almie Rose

I like to play Who’s Next for a good old fashioned cabinet boot stomping.

I freaking love these boots, and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t accept the sponsored post, so let’s all just know that. That goes with all sponsored posts. So I saw these boots and thought, awesome, love. But what I didn’t know is that Ariat has deep Equestrian roots. Thus, these boots are super comfy and light and have that Equestrian edge. When I wear them, they make me feel like Betty Draper when she goes riding. If I had her wardrobe, I would also wear the boots with something like this:

Equestrian Betty Draper
Equestrian Betty Draper by apocalypstick featuring Ariat riding boots
J Crew cashmere sweater / J Crew wool coat / Acne Studios black pants / Ariat riding boots / Pearl jewelry, $23 / Hermès triangle shawl / Hermès silk scarve / J.Crew Girls’ stadium-cloth marquee coat / J.Crew Girls’ stadium-cloth bow coat

Until I have Betty Draper (Francis)’s figure and money, I usually pair my boots with black skinny jeans (SUPER skinny, because you want them to tuck into the booths smoothly; my favorite jeans have zippers on the side for maximum sleekness. And they’re just GAP) and a comfy graphic tee, like my SideOne Dummy Records shirt or a David Bowie tee — or my favorite concert tee in the world, the 1985 Phil Collins No Jacket Required Tour that I bought at Cheap Jack’s in NYC in 2005. And over that, I wear a fake fur coat. Or my “BABY IT’S COLD OUTSIDE” sweatshirt from London Loves LA Girls, for my casual look.

Almie Rose

Oh hey guys, it’s just me being totally casual, blogging on a typewriter, like casual people do.

And guess what? Ariat has a giveaway going on over on their Facebook page. You could win your very own boots! Check it out here. Ends November 27.

How do YOU wear boots? I’m always trying to pair tall boots with dresses but, like Ringo Starr and a Mexican accent, it just doesn’t work.

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Ariat. To learn more about Ariat and enter their fabulous giveaway on Facebook, please visit:

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Shabby Apple Dress Giveaway!

Almie Rose in Shabby Apple for Shabby Apple Dress Giveaway

Shabby Apple wants you to feel simply lovely and I want to help so we’re giving away one free dress! My birthday this this Thursday but I want to celebrate by giving YOU guys something. In the photo above I’m wearing the “Boogie Woogie” dress, courtesy of Shabby Apple. It has a Betty Drapertastic retro feel to it. It fits great, though I did have to get it hemmed, which was to be expected. I’m doing this giveaway because I love Shabby Apple’s dresses because of their perfect vintage, early 1960’s feel to them. While not genuine vintage clothing Shabby Apple is an inspired new take on old favorites, from Mad Men gowns to Bardot stripes. And the dress I’m giving away doesn’t have to be this one — you get to choose from a huge selection of Shabby Apple dresses.


Here’s how to enter!

1. Like Shabby Apple on Facebook.

2. Follow Shabby Apple on Instagram.

3. Leave a comment with your first name.

Note: Giveaway is only available in the United States. Sorry!

I’m going to choose a winner at random. The giveaway starts today, 10/21 and will go until Friday, 10/25. If you’re the winner, I’ll have to verify that you liked Shabby Apple on Facebook and followed on Instagram and then you’ll get to choose a dress!



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Fashion spirit.

almie rose terry richardson lion

This is my most stylish, spirited outfit. You were probably expecting something a little less glamorous. I know. But I’m not kidding when I say that when I don this lion onesie, it’s like I have a whole new outlook on life. I feel freer. I dance more. It has pockets. Pockets! I like to put my hands in the pockets, turn around, and stare at the wall. When someone asks me, “Hey Almie, what are you doing?” I turn around, shrug and say, “Oh nothing, just lion stuff.” I’m telling you, nothing says party spirit like this lion costume.

When I’m not wearing my lion costume, which is alarmingly less often than not, I stick to my classic little black dresses with red lipstick. This is, obviously, a different look than the head-to-toe Simba look, which is so hot right now. My favorite color is leopard print. My second favorite color is sequins. And all of those things go very well together.

It’s holiday party time really, really soon. I’ve gotten three invites already…all on the same blasted date. That’s just diabolical. I’m never this popular. So of course, when I finally am, it’s all at once. You bet your sweet bippy I am wearing my lion suit to at least one of these parties. And I’m not joking.

Because that’s the thing. We may not want to admit it, but if we’re going somewhere that isn’t something you can do in sweatpants (grocery shopping, going to the pharmacy, coffee run, shoving children down stairs) then we really take a few minutes (or hours!) to plan how we are going to look. Hair, shoes, clothes. Even guys do this, though maybe not to the extent that girls do.

So I’m suggesting that maybe we all just step back and go with what we really want to wear and not what we think we have to wear. Let me tell you, there are 3 stages in your entire life where you get to do this:

1. Baby to toddler stage.

2. Your twenties.

3. Your eighties + beyond.

And that’s it. I really don’t want to wait until my eighties to wear red eyeshadow at a party, like Daryl Hannah’s screaming-whatever-that-was-character in Blade Runner. And I don’t want to wear pants anymore. I’m just going to wear oversized sweaters with tights and ankle boots, and I don’t care if I look like Claudia Kishi. And I don’t care if people think I dress and look like a hipster. To quote Josh, “You’re not hipster – you’re hipster adjacent.” I think that’s fair.

People are going to think whatever they want no matter what you do or say or wear, so you may as well just take that whole part out of the equation and do your thing with the utmost dignity, pride, and awesomosity. Take your inner style spirit and let it guide you. Like how Pocahontas listened to that creepy, old, nightmarish tree. She didn’t have to, but she did. And she learned something.

And guys, wear suits more. We really, really like that. And I know a lot of you really want to dress like Don Draper or Patrick Bateman but are afraid of looking like a pompous cad. But that’s what it’s all about.



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Stop being oblivious.

almie rose blondes make better t-shirts

Awesome tee courtesy of Blondes Make Better T-Shirts. I’m so happy they gave this to me, because I saw it and thought, “NEED.” It’s basically just a big comfy shirt that says “M. M — MEDIUM” on it and then beneath that is a description of what the M doesn’t stand for, like “monkey.” And they’re a green company! And they have hilarious instructional labels sewn in them. And they’re made out of that material that makes tees fell all vintagey and soft. AND they’re offering a SPECIAL DISCOUNT to Apocalypstick readers: 20% for the entire month of Novemeber! (enter apocalypstick at checkout). Yay!

One of the questions I’m asked all the time, aside from, “Are you drunk?” is, “How do I tell if someone likes me? Like, likes me?”

My answer to this is, “If you have to ask, they don’t like like you.” That’s number one. I know this may hurt, but if someone really liked you, you would know. And if a month passed by and they didn’t make a move, it’s not going to happen.

But some people are diabolically shy, and make this a little harder to figure out. And on the other side are the people who are diabolically clueless who don’t realize if someone is blatantly hitting on you.

Here are some hints if someone is into you (or not):

— They go out of their way to make you happy. This could mean hanging out with you, helping you out with something, whatever. Going out of their way means maybe they have to drive a long distance or change up their plans, but they do it because they like you, and want to see you.

— They don’t call you repeatedly after 2 AM and ask you to come over. All this means is that they like having sex with you. They don’t like you. They don’t hate you, they just don’t want to take it beyond sex.

— You can be a total bitch to them (either on purpose or because of a rough day, hopefully it’s not on purpose) and they forgive you. Not only do they forgive you but they continue to hang out with you.

— They actually listen when you talk to them. You can tell that they were listening because later, even weeks after your conversation, they’ll reference something you spoke about, like, “Hey how is your grandma by the way?” or, “I saw this thing that you just have to see, it reminded me of you.” This usually segues into the private joke stage.

— They flirt with you. I mean really, that’s the most obvious clue. The above signs are some ways people flirt. Another way they flirt is to laugh at your inane jokes. Try telling a joke or a story and see who is actually looking at you the most. Who is really listening. If it’s them, that’s a good sign. (Remember “you’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you”?)

— They make a move. This is the bottom line. If this doesn’t happen it means you’re good friends, or they’re too fucked up to handle anything beyond friendship. It doesn’t mean they don’t like like you, but if nothing’s happened by now, nothing will for a long time, if ever.

These are the signs. Stop being oblivious and pay attention. If you are the recipient of these signs, wise up.

What do you think? What did I leave out?


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Sexy costumes suck.

Halloween is a big deal to me. As a kid I always loved dressing up. I took great pride in my costumes. In 10th grade, I dressed as Alex from “A Clockwork Orange” and no one knew who I was. My dad thought I was Liza Minelli from “Cabaret” and most of my friends said, “Hey your eyelash fell down.” One teacher at the school got it, and he asked me, “Are you a ‘Clockwork Orange’?” And I said yes, and he said, “That worries me.” (Love you, Mr. Everett). I made that costume using things from my closet and my high school’s wardrobe room and now they sell pre-packaged Clockwork Orange costumes for both men and women (the woman’s version is a dress/skirt). And there’s a photo going around on Pinterest of some toddler dressed as Alex, which is a super cute idea, to dress your little son as a rapist. Have people actually watched this movie the entire way through?

As I got older, I got less inspired. I actually started to have dreams, not just around Halloween but year-round, that it was Halloween and I didn’t have a costume and I was scrambling to find one. This has to mean something deeper, and if you want to figure it out, go for it. This year I really wanted to be Jarvis Cocker or Paul McCartney, but to find a good Beatles suit is expensive and I am not nearly skinny enough to be Jarvis Cocker (though to be fair, few are). So I decided to cave and buy something. I got into a nostalgia kick for “The Lion King” and thought the best idea ever would be to dress as Simba.

My mission became far more difficult than I ever thought. First of all, all Simba costumes I found were for toddlers, which is fucking bullshit. At most it went up to 10 year olds. For adults, there was, I kid you not, a “sexy” Nala costume. What the fuck is this malarkey? How is that even close to a lion costume? Why do you have to make Nala sexy?

And it just got worse. Every single lion costume I found was a “sexy” lion. Here are some examples. I just wanted to be a normal, giant-ass jungle cat. But all the good lion costumes were made for men or boys. And the men’s costumes don’t fit well on me, because I am a petite girl, like Estelle Getty sized, and I can’t wear something unisex and expect to be able to move in it. I succumbed to the Cushzilla lion onesie/pajamas and it’s comfy and I love it, but it made me sad that the best thing I could find was a unisex jumpsuit that is meant for someone way, way taller.

I also wanted to be Han Solo. Hey guess what? Even though it’s Halloween, a time when people are supposed to dress up as whatever or whomever they want, female Han Solo costumes do not exist, unless you’re into cosplay and you make one, and I barely know how to properly put on a bandaid, let alone sew something. I also thought about being Indiana Jones. I’ll let you compare the male Indiana Jones costumes to the female ones.

Yes, I could thrift and come up with an Indiana Jones costume, but why should I have to? Why are the only available female versions of Indiana Jones costumes sexualized? It’s Harrison Ford, he’s already sexy. Why doesn’t anyone want women to dress up as a non-sexualized version of a Halloween character? Do they not trust us? Do they think we won’t make it look good because we have boobs?

If you want to dress as a sexy version of something, I don’t care. Go ahead. You have every right to wear whatever you want. But I wonder if by supporting costume companies like Leg Avenue and Dreamgirl, companies that saw a huge boom within the past few years, we’re telling people, “Yes, this is how we always want to look, please make us sexy versions of everything, like Bert and Ernie.” And they did.

And honestly? It makes me sad. What do you think?

Don’t forget to check out my “Sexy” Costumes = Normal Bowie Costumes here on my blog and a slightly extended version on Hello Giggles. And if you’re looking to be Shelley Duvall from “The Shining” look at my post Fashion and the Shining.


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What is love? (Baby don’t hurt me.)

Magnificent t-shirt given to me by Moody Twin. I love this shirt. There’s nothing blatantly sexy about it, as in, there’s no nudity but I would never wear this to work.

How is everybody doing with their resolutions to be better selves? Remember, you can start NOW. Feel healthy and good on New Year’s Eve, not the week after! I am failing sort of miserably. I’m gonna go all Gwyneth next week and juice fast my life. My diet has been candy, cookies, and melted cheese. Totally delicious but my body is really mad at me. I’m tired all the time, even after a good night’s sleep.

I have to treat my stupid body better. Be better at being better. Is good? Yes, is good.

Love is treating yourself well. It’s about more than accepting who you are. It’s about embracing it and celebrating it. That’s real love. Then when you can do that you can love other people. If you can’t love other people, try cats first. Cats are great because they’re like little people but they can’t argue with you and they’re nice and soft.

Love IS having to say you’re sorry.


People love to ask, “How do you know if you’re in love?” If you have to ask, then you’re not. It’s not like, “do I have to sneeze?” where the answer is uncertain. There is an actual clear answer here.

And I just realized that while I have categories on this blog for “relationships” and “dating” and even “sex” I don’t have one for love. Does that mean something?

~~What is love to you, you guys? ~~ ***~~***


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Please Dress Me.

almie rose bonnie and clydeThis right here is my uniform. Red lipstick, lots of black, and this Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin tee when I’m not wearing a black dress.

Today I start a new job in fashion Exciting! I have no idea how I stumbled into the world of fashion (I also write for Genlux Magazine), it just kind of happened, and I love it. But I have a confession. Lately, I’ve sort of given up on my style. “I don’t know how to dress anymore,” I told my mom. Expecting her to say, “Oh of course you do,” she instead said, “Yeah you’re not really trying anymore.” Yikes. Let’s take a magical tour through my fashion history, shall we? (This post contains lots of photos so if your computer is slow, lollolol). Oh and

What is your daily uniform? What’s your favorite style, your favorite looks, your favorite fashion inspiration? And do you have any suggestions for me?

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