By Almie Rose
Sep
17
2010
That’s not happiness to see me, is it? — Michael Douglas, A Perfect Murder This year for Yom Kippur bitches better atone to ME. I am DONE. I am not atoning for SHIT. I am the Kanye West of the blogging world. Bitches should be HONORED to atone their sins to ME. Sometimes I just [...]
{ 25 comments }
Jul
28
2010
A few nights ago, I went to a house party with a dear redheaded friend. I love house parties. It’s the unexpected factor. Will there be good drinks? Will there be cute guys? Will this be the house party that you saw in the movies, the one where everyone had a good time and there’s [...]
{ 21 comments }
Jun
14
2010
I’m near-sighted but tonight, as I’m trying to work on my book (and I swear this isn’t an excuse), things are a little blurry. Is it possible I’m also far-sighted? Or am I going blind? I AM GOING TO BE SO FUCKING PISSED OFF IF I GO BLIND. It’s these damn big pupils of mine. [...]
{ 6 comments }
May
20
2010
I’m back from my east coast excursion. My brother is all freshly graduated and off to Cape Cod for an internship. I’m back here, drinking Starbucks like it’s my job. I missed you all and I missed this blog. Did you miss me? I kind of hope that you did. Oh who am I kidding, [...]
{ 15 comments }
Jan
30
2010
I really think I just hate everybody. If you’re going to invite people to your housewarming and your housewarming is outside in 50 degree weather, you literally fail at having a housewarming, for your guests are neither in your house nor are they warm. I mean that’s just simple logic. That artichoke dip was [...]
{ 0 comments }
Jan
24
2010
Dear West Hollywood, You are out of your FUCKING MIND if you think I am going to pay for this parking ticket. You need a pass to park, I know, and guess what? I HAD the pass. It somehow FELL off of my REARVIEW MIRROR and onto the FLOOR OF MY CAR BUT IT WAS [...]
{ 9 comments }
Dec
3
2009
YOU NEED TO STOP… – Using the phrase “Alma mater.” Who the fuck are you trying to fool? Latin’s a dead language, buddy. Just say, “My former/old school.” That sounds real. When you say “Alma Mater” you sound like Ron Burgundy. – Saying that you’ll follow someone on twitter and then not. – Using sarcasm [...]
{ 0 comments }
