Back again to help me give you advice and answer your questions on love, dating, and relationships. And karaoke.
But the great news is that I lost a lot of weight! Sadly I think I may have gained it all back at this point. But I’ve never been so thin in my life. I guess that will happen when you can’t eat solid food for a week.
Now I guess I have to rely on eating well and exercising. It’s 2009 haven’t we found something easier yet? Someone should make a pill that decreases your appetite the way it does when you’re sick without totally damaging your immune system. Or I could just take a bunch of diet pills with a bunch of caffeine pills and see what happens. I’m guessing it will be a “On this very special episode of ‘Saved By The Bell'” moment.
I am so lazy. Exercise is a perpetual chore that has seemingly no end unless I want to be fat and miserable for the rest of my life. I have found though that Karaoke is fantastic exercise, although the risk of embarrassment is far greater. Or maybe not, I often trip when I jog, and it seems like I’m constantly pulling my sweatpants up.
Karaoke will take you from this:
My favorite songs to whip out for Karaoke are “Poker Face”, “Bitch”, “Beast of Burden”, anything by Winehouse, “One Way Or Another” and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song. I gotta say though, I am very serious about my Karaoke and I kind of hate it when people hog the mic. It’s like, we listened to your very special rendition of “Lady In Red” now please give me the mic before I grind your bones to make my bread.
But one of my absolutely favorite ways to Karaoke is to “Shatnerize” everything. You know, sit on a stool (preferably with a cigarette) and talk your way through the song. Shatnerizing works especially well with David Bowie songs, for some reason, which is what I did with “Starman”:
The lights were…low.
I leaned back on my…radio.
Some cat. Was laying down some rock and or roll.
In conclusion, my all-time Karaoke goal is to duet with Adam Lambert. I might settle for Zachary Quinto.