By Almie Rose
Oct
18
2010
Fuck you, guitar man. Fuck you for looking beautiful as you got on stage with your guitar. Sure, you were dressed like a bartender and before you got on stage I thought you worked here, but now it’s all different. Fuck you for singing and playing the guitar so well. I don’t even know if [...]
{ 32 comments }
Sep
17
2010
That’s not happiness to see me, is it? — Michael Douglas, A Perfect Murder This year for Yom Kippur bitches better atone to ME. I am DONE. I am not atoning for SHIT. I am the Kanye West of the blogging world. Bitches should be HONORED to atone their sins to ME. Sometimes I just [...]
{ 25 comments }
Sep
2
2010
Jon Hamm’s girlfriend met Jon Hamm at a party in Silverlake. You know who I meet at parties in Silverlake? The Internet. Attractive men with equally attractive twee little girlfriends. Grown men in Ninja Turtle T-shirts and neckbeards. Men of indeterminate sexual orientation. Poor clones of George Harrison and Cat Stevens. Rapists. Pirates. [...]
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Aug
5
2010
“Excuse me,” I overhear you ask, in your lovely New Zealand accent, Yes? I wonder, “But if my wife doesn’t like this hat, can I return it?” FUCK YOU NEW ZEALAND MAN. FUCK YOU WITH YOUR HAIR AND YOUR FACE AND YOUR SHIRT AND YOUR JEANS AND YOUR VOICE. GUESS WHAT BUDDY? ALL SALES ARE [...]
{ 11 comments }
May
23
2010
Lately I’ve been doing this odd thing where I show up for events 1-2 weeks early. My friend/coworker had an art show out in Valenica or something that I dragged my poor friend Dave to and when we got there I called her, asking, “Hey where are you?” and she called back, worried with, “My [...]
{ 15 comments }
Apr
25
2010
An awesome friend of mine really blew my mind today and she did it via the words of Ben Affleck. I know. I cursed her for making me think that Ben Affleck was a remotely intelligent and/or thoughtful person. But it appears that he is. Here’s what happened. I was being a big baby and [...]
{ 7 comments }
Mar
22
2010
“If you write about us on your blog, be kind. Don’t be honest; be kind.” Someone said this to me at brunch today. He had an English accent so you can only imagine how awesome this sounded. Conan O’Brien recently told us all to, “work hard and be kind.” It appears that cynicism is out [...]
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