shit that I am so into right now

1. Big Macs.

Look at this. Look at this damn thing. I want to paint my face with this. I want to use it as a moisturizer. I want to stuff my bra with it. A Big Mac is 550 calories. That’s without fries or a drink. If you’re taking in 1500 calories per day, that’s like…a percentage of it that is large but I don’t know how to do simple math because fuck that. If I could eat this every single day without any repercussion I would. I don’t understand people who don’t like McDonald’s. I understand why they dislike it for its unhealthy factor but who really hates the taste of it, I mean come on.

2. Lions.

Look at this fucking lion. This lion is thinking, “Fuck you, I’m a lion, I’m in a tree.” I’m a lion here. And it’s sexy.

3. Gangnam Style.

Yelp's Nerdy Dancing II: Revenge Of The Robot

I really, really wish that I was not into this but I am. I blame “Dancing with the Stars” and the spoof “Mitt Romney Style.” Look, whatever, what’s your guilty pleasure song? You know? Hey let’s just hug and high five forever.

4. Feeling Giddy.

It’s like, when the breeze hits you in the face but not too powerfully you feel like maybe your entire life is full of promise and a feeling that maybe, just maybe, you are not going to die a sad failure.

5. The X-Files.

My friend Liza turned me into the lady X-File for my birthday.

I’m going to just copy/paste my feelings on the show from a Facebook status I posted:

WARNING: NERD ALERT! I started watching “The X-Files” from season 1. I’ve never seen the show from the beginning; I was more of a casual viewer. Here are some things I’m realizing about the show:

1. Gillian Anderson was only 24 when she started on the show, but her haircut makes her look 6+ years older.

2. The show is so fucking Canadian. I knew it was shot in Vancouver for a while but it just looks so…Canadian, I can’t explain it. Just very low budget and…Canadian.

3. Mulder is right about everything. The show should be called “Weird Shit That Mulder Is Always Right About.” Why even doubt him 3 episodes in? He’s always right in this world. And everyone acts like he’s insane, but if he’s so insane then…

4. Why even have an X Files bureau? At the end of each episode no one believes Mulder anyway and if they do, they sweep it under the rug, so why even have the department?

5. They always take on cases that aren’t theirs. Either they take on a local police department case, or Mulder reads something in a magazine and demands that he and Scully investigate. And Scully is the one who has to do the work. So when she’s writing these reports, for cases they weren’t assigned to, and turning them in, why aren’t her superiors saying, “Nice work, Dana. You’re fired.” ?

6. This one makes me so anxious: they don’t get enough sleep. They’re always interrupted in the middle of the night with weird phone calls, or they’re driving through America all night. But they never seem fatigued so I guess it’s okay for them. Really rustles my jimmies though.

Anyway, I’m finally ready to join 1994. Good to be here.

Check out Shit that I am so into (part 1).