The cool kids are different from you and me.

They’re cool.

The cool kids always look effortless. The cool kids know that effort is something to have but not to show. Like money.

The cool kids are everywhere. You’re always running into them, and sometimes they don’t remember you, but you don’t want to tell them you’ve already met so you pretend it’s the first time.

The cool kids are not hipsters, because not all hipsters are cool.

The cool kids are almost always thin and if this shocks or upsets you then I’m sorry.

The cool kids know people.

The cool kids know at least one Coppola, or Coppola-related person.

The cool kids make irony ironic.

The cool kids always know how to dress and always look cool, even if they’re just wearing jeans and a t-shirt. You’ll try to replicate the look but you won’t look as cool. You’ll wonder about this phenomenon, you’ll cover your walls in clippings and chalk boards with scattered phrases like, “Acne + APC = ??? American A x thrift??” and you’ll feel like Russell Crowe in “A Beautiful Mind” but your mind won’t feel beautiful at all, and that title is a lie, there is nothing beautiful about Russell Crowe, and if this shocks you then I’m sorry.

The cool kids only make last-minute plans. Cool kids don’t need to plan anything because they won’t wait for life to happen, they make life happen.

The cool kids always have the strangest jobs, or jobs that sound like 110% fun.

The cool kids are always photographed and they always look good, even if their hair is covering their face or there’s a stain on their shirt.

The cool kids never quote movies, because the cool kids are always in one big movie.

The cool kids defy description other than, “You know that guy Erik?” “Sort of, what’s he like?” “He’s just really cool“.

The cool kids are always busy.

The cool kids love burritos. I can’t really explain why, but they do, and if this shocks you, then I’m sorry.

I Don’t Wanna Be Too Cool — Kate Fagan