Early Is The New Late.

Photo of my dear friend Laura taken by me.

My new mantra: showing up early is the new showing up late. I am so sick of pretending to be too cool to arrive anywhere before 11. It’s asinine. The people who show up”fashionably late” don’t arrive late because they’re busy all evening, no; they arrive late because they are simply killing time in order to arrive late. Just put on your clothes and get there when it starts. Then we can all be home by a reasonable time. If I show up on time or early in the evening then by the time I leave your dumb ass is just arriving.

But here’s the thing, events are actually usually better when there’s less people there. People crowd you in, form lines for drinks, and eat all the food. I’m taking a stand. In short, people ruin parties. If a party goes from 9:30 – 11 and there’s an after party until 1, I am going to show up around 9:30, get a drink without having to wait, get photographed, and then get out of there. I did my part. I have a really busy evening. I have episodes of Four Weddings lined up on my DVR. That’s shit that I need to see.

My friend Kimme and I once went to one of those regular dance things at  typical LA bar/lounge (I don’t mean we did it once, we did it lots of times, this is one example) and we got there right when it started and it was almost empty and the bartender made fun of us. Guess what, buddy? The way we saw it, we won! We got to get drinks quickly AND get prime seats and HEAR OURSELVES TALK. It’s not my fault that you have to work there, chief. I’m sure if I had your job I would hate it too. It probably sucks to have to serve indulgent hipsters wearing Liza Minelli stretch pants. Life choices, friend. Take it from me, the girl who watches Four Weddings and Dr. Phil for hours and winds up staying up late not because she was out at the cool party she left hours ago but because she was really involved in Dr. Phil and his lovely wife Robin helping a poor woman reunite with her drug addicted father who killed her mother when she was young.

That’s life you guys.

When you get invited to a party, when do you show up? Do you plan to get there when it starts? Do you make a conscious decision to go later because, “It won’t really start until then anyway”? Or am I going all Larry David over this, AKA, thinking too hard about something really simple?

You can read more about my party life here and here but I wouldn’t recommend it.

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27 thoughts on “Early Is The New Late.

  1. Miranda

    Starting the night early (or technically on-time) also helps to prevent hangovers and/or going to work drunk in the morning. I mean, I’m sure it does but I wouldn’t know since I usually watch hours of Intervention while downing drinks at home before I go out.

  2. Almie Rose Post author

    ” I usually watch hours of Intervention while downing drinks at home before I go out.”

    now that’s a good tweet.

  3. Anonymous

    Sometimes I just circle the premises and listen to music until I see enough cars in the parking lot. And then I walk in and pretend like I’m texting somebody.

  4. Matthew Meriwether

    Sometimes I just circle the premises and listen to music until I see enough cars in the parking lot. And then I walk in and pretend like I’m texting somebody. In short, my life is a lie.

  5. J Gaz

    I just don’t want to go, so if I have to, I’ll procrastinate at home until it’s late and then I get there at 11 and then it’s loud and I can’t talk to anyone and then I hate everything and leave so that the endless drive home can be a fun one with Sam Cooke playing really loudly and not one where I’m so tired I fall asleep at the wheel.

  6. brooklynchick

    I HATE late-starting things – hate the time-killing waiting to go somewhere (when do you get dressed?). Sometimes I go to the pre-event and then skip the “thing” itself. But I don’t know if I have the ovaries to get places early. Good on you, though, girl!

  7. beatrice

    I usually arrive and leave early because I value real social interaction as well as getting my money’s worth out of my Netflix account (it’s not a real night off if I don’t end up watching at least ONE thing on Netflix)

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      Same, but for me it’s more like, it’s not a real night if I don’t watch at least one episode of Dr. Phil or Four Weddings.

  8. Almie Rose Post author

    “I feel like I am rewarded for this. Just when people think “oh, everybody is here!” and they’ve already picked out who they are going to try to sleep with that night, I show up and hopefully make things more interesting.”

    This is fantastic, I never thought of it that way!

    CUPCAKES FOR GIANTS, MAN.

  9. Erica

    I like to stay home and watch L&O:SVU, my excuse for not being there: “Oh, I was there, you must have been too drunk to realize it…”

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      I went through an SVU addiction. Lying in bed, laptop, watching episode after episode after episode.

      BTW that’s an awesome excuse.

  10. Luda

    I’ve been known to arrive too early and then drive a few laps around the bar/apartment/house/strip club/brothel before actually entering. Just to make sure I’m not too early for the binge drinking/dancing/partying/orgy.

  11. Kaitlin

    honestly, i think you may have just given me some real hope that i could turn my social life around! i’m not kidding! ever since i moved to the city (town) i am currently in, i have been the biggest wet blanket. i’ve also simultaneously slowly become an old person (partially due to acquiring a boyfriend). i really don’t like staying out late. i really don’t like sleeping in until noon. and if i’m going to get drunk, i would prefer to do it in the day- although really not at all! everyone always tries to do that whole “let’s figure out the strategies of the night” thing- but my mind actually works pretty logically so i find what you’re saying is jiving quite well for me. from now on, i’m gonna take the lead and argue this with anyone i’m with! things are gonna change around here!

    oh, and thanks for the unintentional after-party tv recommendation… i’ll have to check out four weddings.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      YEAH! Why not give it a try? After all, showing up is half the battle anyway!

      Four Weddings is maybe the best thing on TV right now. Go forth and watch!

  12. Stacey

    I am just straight up indecisive and that is why I’m late. My friends nick-named me Sid the sloth cause I take forever to get to places or meet them somewhere. Maybe I should aim for getting there early and I’ll actually show up on time.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      I think most of what people do is based on the fact that they just can’t decide what to do. At least that’s what happens to me. I think. Ha.

  13. Lori

    My best girlfriend and I used to go out dancing right after work. It was always the ‘warm up dj’ and it was just the two of us. But got to do whatever we wanted. Cartwheels, Tango, chandelier swinging. It was crazy!! And then bed by 9.

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