Photo of my dear friend Laura taken by me.
My new mantra: showing up early is the new showing up late. I am so sick of pretending to be too cool to arrive anywhere before 11. It’s asinine. The people who show up”fashionably late” don’t arrive late because they’re busy all evening, no; they arrive late because they are simply killing time in order to arrive late. Just put on your clothes and get there when it starts. Then we can all be home by a reasonable time. If I show up on time or early in the evening then by the time I leave your dumb ass is just arriving.
But here’s the thing, events are actually usually better when there’s less people there. People crowd you in, form lines for drinks, and eat all the food. I’m taking a stand. In short, people ruin parties. If a party goes from 9:30 – 11 and there’s an after party until 1, I am going to show up around 9:30, get a drink without having to wait, get photographed, and then get out of there. I did my part. I have a really busy evening. I have episodes of Four Weddings lined up on my DVR. That’s shit that I need to see.
My friend Kimme and I once went to one of those regular dance things at typical LA bar/lounge (I don’t mean we did it once, we did it lots of times, this is one example) and we got there right when it started and it was almost empty and the bartender made fun of us. Guess what, buddy? The way we saw it, we won! We got to get drinks quickly AND get prime seats and HEAR OURSELVES TALK. It’s not my fault that you have to work there, chief. I’m sure if I had your job I would hate it too. It probably sucks to have to serve indulgent hipsters wearing Liza Minelli stretch pants. Life choices, friend. Take it from me, the girl who watches Four Weddings and Dr. Phil for hours and winds up staying up late not because she was out at the cool party she left hours ago but because she was really involved in Dr. Phil and his lovely wife Robin helping a poor woman reunite with her drug addicted father who killed her mother when she was young.
That’s life you guys.
When you get invited to a party, when do you show up? Do you plan to get there when it starts? Do you make a conscious decision to go later because, “It won’t really start until then anyway”? Or am I going all Larry David over this, AKA, thinking too hard about something really simple?
You can read more about my party life here and here but I wouldn’t recommend it.