You know how it is, one moment you’re looking up videos of Jarvis Cocker on YouTube and the next, you’re watching 18 year old shaggy haired emo boys making out with each other in a skate park (Jesus Christ I hope they were at least 18). That’s just how life works.
I didn’t know that this genre existed up until recently, and all of a sudden, it was everywhere. There are countless YouTube videos of emo boys, who are straight, making out with each other to attract girls. And let me tell you, something…it works. I was so attracted. Some of these videos are clearly guys doing it to impress girls, but some of them seem like they’re not straight, that they’re actually in love, which is both hot and annoying at the same time. Like, fuck you, dude. I wish I were an emo boy and I had an emo boyfriend. I think I would be happier as a man. And as an emo dude, I could still wear eyeliner!
Some of these videos are compilations clearly made by 16 year olds. They’re a montage of boys kissing and photos of boys kissing, set to crappy emo music like Avenged Sevenfold or whatever. This is just in poor taste. How could you not use Blur’s “Girls And Boys”??? There isn’t even ONE video out there set to this song, and that’s just insane.
This discovery eventually lead to hardcore emo porn. By “hardcore” I mean that they’re actually having sex. And they’re porn actors, on a set. But what’s so interesting, is that they’re so committed to their characters. They have the hair, and the clothes (until they come off) and even the tattoos. They start out with ties and striped socks and tight pants and checkerboard vans. The attention to detail is beautiful. It makes you wonder: were they emo dudes who went into porn, or porn who went into emo dudes? Either way, I’m impressed.
What do you think?
apocalypstick
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m sorry…what was that? I had to dust off Parklife and pop Different Class into my cd player….
I dressed up as Cocker for Halloween once… No one outside of my small circle of friends got the reference. Not going to lie, I would have jumped the first woman who asked if I was sorted for E’s and Wizz.
kudos for having awesome taste.
I AM GOING TO NEED PHOTOS OF THIS NOW.
Ha, I wish I had some… It was ages ago. Honestly? I got almost all the clothes from Goodwill or at St Vincent de Paul…
I’m actually hosting this years Halloween party… I should put up a blue plaque somewhere…
Jarvis Cocker’s emo? When did that happen….?
I never said he was!
Actually it doesn’t impress me at all. People who “acts” in porn movies doesn’t attract me at all. No matter if they’re emo, lesbian or even aliens. People should respect their bodies, that’s all from me.
By the way, I still love the picture in that post. It’s just a good pgoto
Agreed on this one!