Dec

6

2012

Fashion spirit.

almie rose terry richardson lion

This is my most stylish, spirited outfit. You were probably expecting something a little less glamorous. I know. But I’m not kidding when I say that when I don this lion onesie, it’s like I have a whole new outlook on life. I feel freer. I dance more. It has pockets. Pockets! I like to put my hands in the pockets, turn around, and stare at the wall. When someone asks me, “Hey Almie, what are you doing?” I turn around, shrug and say, “Oh nothing, just lion stuff.” I’m telling you, nothing says party spirit like this lion costume.

When I’m not wearing my lion costume, which is alarmingly less often than not, I stick to my classic little black dresses with red lipstick. This is, obviously, a different look than the head-to-toe Simba look, which is so hot right now. My favorite color is leopard print. My second favorite color is sequins. And all of those things go very well together.

It’s holiday party time really, really soon. I’ve gotten three invites already…all on the same blasted date. That’s just diabolical. I’m never this popular. So of course, when I finally am, it’s all at once. You bet your sweet bippy I am wearing my lion suit to at least one of these parties. And I’m not joking.

Because that’s the thing. We may not want to admit it, but if we’re going somewhere that isn’t something you can do in sweatpants (grocery shopping, going to the pharmacy, coffee run, shoving children down stairs) then we really take a few minutes (or hours!) to plan how we are going to look. Hair, shoes, clothes. Even guys do this, though maybe not to the extent that girls do.

So I’m suggesting that maybe we all just step back and go with what we really want to wear and not what we think we have to wear. Let me tell you, there are 3 stages in your entire life where you get to do this:

1. Baby to toddler stage.

2. Your twenties.

3. Your eighties + beyond.

And that’s it. I really don’t want to wait until my eighties to wear red eyeshadow at a party, like Daryl Hannah’s screaming-whatever-that-was-character in Blade Runner. And I don’t want to wear pants anymore. I’m just going to wear oversized sweaters with tights and ankle boots, and I don’t care if I look like Claudia Kishi. And I don’t care if people think I dress and look like a hipster. To quote Josh, “You’re not hipster – you’re hipster adjacent.” I think that’s fair.

People are going to think whatever they want no matter what you do or say or wear, so you may as well just take that whole part out of the equation and do your thing with the utmost dignity, pride, and awesomosity. Take your inner style spirit and let it guide you. Like how Pocahontas listened to that creepy, old, nightmarish tree. She didn’t have to, but she did. And she learned something.

And guys, wear suits more. We really, really like that. And I know a lot of you really want to dress like Don Draper or Patrick Bateman but are afraid of looking like a pompous cad. But that’s what it’s all about.

 

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Posted in: clothes, lighten up it's just fashion, party

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Marill December 6, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Now I really really really want a lion onesie.

Reply

Kelly L December 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm

1. “My second favorite color is sequins.” — Love.
2. Claudia Kishi. — More love.
3. Wearing whatever the hell you want for the sole reason that you want to — most love.

Reply

Madeleine N. December 7, 2012 at 10:12 am

I used to really make an effort–the makeup, the dresses, the hair, the heels. Then one morning I just sorta woke up and started exclusively wearing dark skinny jeans, t-shirts, and an oversized military jacket. I also cut my hair real short.

Now my mother will say things like, “I don’t know what I would do if one of my children were gay. I guess I would love her anyway. I mean, him OR her. Theoretically, of course.”

Reply

Tany December 7, 2012 at 10:20 pm

This post just made me realize how much I wanna dye my hair purple, honestly. Hair is like clothes, right? They will continue to talk, think and have an opinion and it doesn’t matter what you do, you just have to go for it.

Reply

Tori December 9, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Hilarious use of italics at the end. Hilarious post.

Reply

nina May 28, 2013 at 8:01 am

Where did you purchase your simba onesie?

Reply

Matt June 21, 2013 at 7:06 am

Curious where you got the onesie? :)

Reply

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