Goodbye My Love.

My best friend in the world, Sony (pictured above), died unexpectedly this morning. (You may remember him from such films as “How To Get Over A Break-Up”). He was completely wonderful. He followed me everywhere, and if I forgot to leave my bedroom door open for him he would cry until I opened it. We had our own language. I swear to God he was sarcastic. He slept with me every night. When I took him to the vet I would carry him and he would sit quietly and patiently on my lap in the waiting room. People would marvel at him and say, “Your cat is so calm!” and I would pat him on the head and feel like a proud parent. I had many nicknames for him. I would coo over him and scratch his back and say things like, “Sooooooony, I think you’re exceeeeeeeeptional!” and “Soooooooony, I’m going to nominate you for a Golden Globe Awaaaaaard!” I loved him and he loved me and I will miss him every day.

Has a death of a pet affected you? How did you get over it?

Conversation Piece — David Bowie


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48 thoughts on “Goodbye My Love.

  1. Bec

    Go back to my lj to august 10th 2004, i posted about when my dog died…i still miss him every day and will never get over it, at least now i can remember good things and laugh. honestly pets are a member of the family and losing one is legit HORRIBLE. like i said if you wanna chat just msg me on facebook or something! <3<3
    -your soulmate.

  2. Cailey

    Ohh Almie I am so so sorry. Losing a pet is absolutely horrible – some people don’t quite understand that. The best thing to do is remember that you gave Sony so much love and affection and that he had a wonderful life!

  3. stephanie

    Losing a pet is really tough. Pet’s have all the great qualities human’s don’t possess. If you get a bad haircut, your pet isn’t there to make you feel like a fruitcake about it. They could care less what you look like, they just crawl in your lap and make you feel amazing. Sounds like Sony was a really, really lucky cat. He got a Golden Globe nom from Almie. That’s pretty great. I tell my cat that his demonic presence plagues me and then I kiss him on the head. I think he resents me for that, but I literally love him like a member of the family. I’m so sorry for your loss. Just remember, time heals everything. Having a blog is a blessing – I’m sure you’ll find support from lots of people who have gone through the same thing and understand :)

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      Thank you. Your words made me tear up but to be fair that may just be the whiskey.

  4. Greg

    Oh no. You have my deepest sympathies. Sonny sounds like an excellent cat. I think of pet deaths much in the same way as the death of a close human friend–that they are events that have to be “integrated” into one’s life, and that it’s not necessarily that the pain of the loss fades; it’s that we honor their lives by remembering them, and that eventually, their memories bring joy more often than sadness.

  5. Kasey

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your pet. I can’t even imagine how heartbroken I would be if my lil fluff-ball of terror (otherwise known as a petite cat named Zooey) were taken from me. I know comfort is hard to come by, but I find sufficient wallowing coupled with ice cream and or wine usually helps.

  6. Sarah

    Awh my deepest sympathy. I’ve been reading and loving your blog for a while now. My cat is my kitten soul mate, we chat, dine, sleep, joke, and hang together daily. He tells me when I’ve had too much wine, not enough wine, and when I’m being too whiney. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to lose that so suddenly. Take your time to grieve, make a little kitty memorial out of photos and cat nip and hang it on your wall. When the time is right you’ll know if its time to bring a new feline in your life, but for now just remember and appreciate what you had with Sony.

  7. Danny

    Dearest Almie,
    I don’t think losing your best friend is something you get over. We take our animals granted in the best possible way, assuming they will always be there for us the way we’re always there to make sure they’re fed and scratched in their favorite spot. For the time being, thinking of Sony will make you sad because he’s not physically here any more. One day, though, thinking of Sony will make you happy because he was. Also, you should always carry a picture of Sony in camouflage in your wallet so when you come across a tacky puppy in a hideous raincoat on the sidewalk you can quickly and easily reference how much better Sony was. Not that it isn’t obvious.

  8. Sarah Freeze

    I’ve been lurking here for a while now, and when I read this, my throat got tight and I felt like I was knocked off balance. My cat, who had been at Petsmart so long his adoption fee was reduced, and oh god, I’m sobbing, passed away last Thanksgiving. I adopted him with my fiance, who I lived with, and long story short, when said fiance broke it off and I still had to share an apartment with for five months, Punk (Sir Senator Punkin’ Oscar Plankon Wilson-Perrin-Freeze) was my saving grace. He was the only thing holding me together. I’m what you could call a very devout atheist, but his presence in my life made me question my lack-of-faith. Losing the Senator was harder than losing the fiance. I’m so sorry, and I would like to give you some pearl of wisdom to help you cope, but the truth is, it really fucking sucks. Remember the love Sony gave you, and at some point, pass it on to another feline friend.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      “My cat, who had been at Petsmart so long his adoption fee was reduced”

      ohmygodohmygod now I want to cry even more. You are an angel and it sounds like Punk had a wonderful life with you. Our cat, Bob, passed away a couple of years ago (he was old and had cancer) and by the time we adopted him he had already been adopted and returned. TWICE.

      I am so sorry for your loss.

  9. d

    The death of a pet is supposed to prepare us for the eventual loss of loved ones, though some unfortunate people have to experience it early.

    Can there ever really be sufficient preparation to lose someone you hold so close and dearly, though?

    I have lost pets dear to me, and there really is nothing you can do but let time pass and heal the wounds inside.

    It seems things have been rough on you lately. I hope beyond hope that good things are happening and continue to happen for you. You deserve it.


  10. Kaitlin

    i had a rabbit named Bella who was essentially my child. most people don’t know that rabbits can bond to you the way Bella did to me. i got her when she was really tiny, so she grew up with me and every morning she would wait at the top of the stairs for me to wake up and then she would follow me to the kitchen where i would prepare an english muffin with butter for the both of us, then to the living room where i would sit and share it with her. usually, i would take a bite, then she would, then i would… but sometimes she would get feisty and grab the whole other half and drag it across the room. netherland dwarfs are known for their “small dog syndrome” and being overly aggressive at times. she gave me quite the bite one time when i was trying to catch her in the backyard, and now it’s a permanent scar so i can remember her forever! i know she was a bad bunny most of the time, but i loved her so much that i overlooked all of that just like a mother who is obsessed with their child and thinks they can do no wrong (which always annoys me). anyways she did die about a year and a half after we had been together. something got her during the night. i could barely hold it together at work the next day! i’m just glad that her death came naturally and that she didn’t get hit by a car or something dumb like that…

    anyways Almie, i hope you are feeling better soon! the boyfriend and now the cat… that can’t be easy. sending good vibes your way!

  11. deromanticize

    I am so sorry to hear of Sony’s passing. I’ve dealt with the death of several pets over my lifetime (my parents used to breed and show standard poodles and we always took in stray cats), and I think the best thing to do is let yourself be sad for a while and grieve as mush as you want. Then, like anything else, just keep going. Maybe in a month or two you can get another kitty to take care of a love. *Good thoughts going your way*

  12. Mackie

    Oh I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my kitty a little over two months ago and I cried like I had literally lost a member of the family or friend. He was a little baby that had a horrible reaction to a medicine. I soon after adopted another cat and I resented myself a little and felt guilty. But surely after, my sadness was gone and I was able to remember him and smile and I realized I gave him all the love I could. Having another pet made me realize that I can love more than one specific pet and that there’s enough love to go around. I promise you that if you get another cat, you will have fallen in love with him within two weeks.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      I am so sorry for your loss. It’s terrible when it’s unexpected like that. I’m glad that you’ve found happiness with your cat and I can hope for the same. Thank you.

  13. Emily

    I am so incredibly sorry. Like others have said, this kind of loss is not something you really, truly get over… It just gets easier to keep going, and eventually you do move on. Just remember all the good times you had- sounds like Sony was well-loved, and I’m sure he knew it. He lived a great life with a wonderful young woman who loved him, and I’m sure he couldn’t have asked for a better life. When you’re feeling down about it, just think of how happy he was.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      Yeah, it really never does get easier. Thank you. It’s just hard not to think of those terrible last few moments.

  14. Pam

    I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved cat. Love the photos – he sure was/is a cutie patootie! I’ve owned many cats since my childhood and have loved every single one of them. It takes a while to get over it (and it’s especially agonizing when you have to put them to sleep), but eventually the memories of the time you spent together will make you smile instead of making you sad. There’s nothing like the love of an animal.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      I almost wish that I had to put him to sleep instead of what happened. But I know I can’t dwell on that. We had some really, really wonderful years. Thank you.

  15. Sparrow Hall

    I never met Sony, but judging by his camouflage vest he was a lovable thug and you were the center of his world. I know if he could, he’d be sending you out a Power 106 dedication song. I’m sorry for the loss Almie. I lost my dog, and I know how it feels.

  16. T

    I lost my Brian in April this year. He looked a lot like Sony, but freaking GIANT with super-long hair (maine coon). We got him as a baby, he died almost a year to the day that we adopted him. Freak rare liver BS.
    I still lose my shit all the time. I’m sorry for what you’re going through, & reading everyone’s stories made me blubber (Punk! Bella! All the sweet babies!)
    Okay, now I am laughing because I just re-read this and the first sentence looked like ” I lost my BRAIN in April this year”. It was way before then.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      This whole comment is so great I don’t know where to begin so I’ll just say thank you.

  17. Laurie

    So sorry to hear of your loss, Almie. I lost a kitty to feline leukemia when I was 14 and it very nearly broke me. My cat, Houston (pronounced like Houston St not like the city in Texas), is 12 now and I have moments where I need to hijack her from where she’s sitting and snuggle the fuck out of her because I’ve just had one of those moments where I’ve remembered that she isn’t going to live forever, and that our time together is probably more than half over. She does not appreciate these instances as she’s usually asleep when the need to grab her strikes me.

    My cousin lost her dog a few years ago, who had been her BFF since she was a little kid. She still gets really sad when she thinks about her. Coco died right before the town’s annual street festival (where everyone spends the entire day drunk) and there was a dude walking around on stilts who saw my cousin semi-hammered and weeping with a cluster of her friends, lamenting the passing of her canine companion. The stilts guy wanted to cheer her up, so he offered her a walk on his stilts. Which she did because even in her drunken grief she knew that only a fucking idiot says no if someone lets you borrow a pair of stilts. But while she was up there all she could think of was what Coco would have thought of it, and started crying again. That was how she memorialized her lost friend: drunk and crying on stilts. We should all be so lucky.

    I hope you’re holding up okay.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      Laurie this is a wonderful comment. Thank you for your understanding and for your awesome/weird/awesomely weird tales.

  18. Colleen

    Oh Apocalypstick, I’m really feeling for you right now. My sweet darling kitty, Smokey, died suddenly and in a fairly traumatic way when I was 17, capping off what had been an exceptionally shitty week/month/year. I cried for days like someone had ripped my heart out — maybe because that’s exactly how it feels when you lose a beloved pet. Pets are the effin’ greatest! I also struggled not to, as you said, dwell on his last moments, but I know that’s a tough corner to get around right away. All I can offer is the oh-so-cliched “this too shall pass.” But really, it will. You’ll never stop missing or loving Sony (which, if you can rise above the sadness of it all for a second, is kind of beautiful in its own right), but the intense raw pain WILL go away.

    Also, don’t give a second thought to jerks who say soulless crap like “jeez he was just a cat, get over it!” Sashay your way out of that conversation. It’s their loss for not getting it.

    Also, hi, I really love your blog!

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      Oh Colleen, thank you. So far no one has said anything like that but if they’re thinking it, they just need to know that I really don’t care.

  19. Breenah

    Poor girl :( I had a hard time when we moved in with my aunt (who’s allergic to cats and has two dogs) and we had to give our cat away. Luckily he’s now living with my mother-in-law so we still get to see him. I can’t imagine what I’d do if he was completely gone. I’m sending you MANY MANY internet hugs.

  20. Cate

    I am so so sorry to hear about Sony Almie! He seemed like a wonderful cat and certainly was a great guest star in your videos. I had a cat named Cleo who passed away nearly five years ago and although I no longer miss her everyday there are certain things that make me instantly tear up and miss her (this post for instance). I have yet to get a new cat, mostly because I am still studying and don’t think its very fair to move animals (especially cats and dogs) around too much. But I look forward to the comfort of having a furry friend to count on again. Take the time to grieve losing a pet is tough xx

  21. Diane

    I’m so sorry. Sony was beautiful, you must miss him so much.

    Last year, our beloved cat Rufus (a brown tabby like Sony, but er, a little more rotund, shall we say) had to be put to sleep because of advanced cancer. It was heartbreaking, to say the least, and I never wanted another cat and never believed another pet would help me get over the grief.

    Then about six weeks later, I rescued a tiny kitten with an injured eye from the side of a busy road, and I couldn’t not keep her. And it helped.

  22. liz

    I’m so sorry! my family’s dog, Skittles, is totally the third (possibly most loved) child in our house and a few years ago she got this kidney thing and nearly died and it was awful. not as awful, admittedly, but I feel at least part of your pain. and Sony was completely adorable. I’m so sorry for your loss!

  23. alice

    Awww :( That’s so sad. I’m sorry about your cat. He looks so cute in his little camo coat. That bit about him wanting to sleep in your room and seeming saracasitc reminds me of my own cat.
    I recommend wallowing with chocolate and episodes of Arrested Development. Mourn all you like!

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