I don’t claim to know anything about anything.
Back when I used to take ambien I would be seized with grand plans and things that I had to do as I was trying to drift off to sleep. This is why I don’t take ambien anymore. I would also see pictures or photographs moving. That’s another good reason not to take ambien. Once in my half-awake/half-asleep dreamlike place, I wrote a list titled:
1. GET A TWIN!
(Yes, I really did think this was a good idea, and no; I have no idea what it means either.)2. GET PEOPLE TO CALL OTHER PEOPLE FOR ME, LIKE THEY WORK FOR ME. (???)
3. Hasgbjahg Fgsfs— (the writing got kind of difficult to read here.)
But I think I have some general ideas as to how to be successful:
2. Don’t beat yourself up when you fuck up. Because it’s over with. If you could go back in time and change it, you would, and you know you would. Let that be enough. Realize that there is an ocean of time ahead of you that will give you many chances to not fuck up.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you don’t ask for help then the answer is always “No”!!!
4. Don’t be too polite. Do NOT be a miserable bitch. Do NOT throw hot coffee in peoples’ faces. DO NOT slash someones’ tires. What I mean by this is basically, stand up for yourself! The only one who can be your biggest defender is you. Unless you’re in court, then I would seriously get a lawyer. You never represent yourself, that’s Law & Order Rule #1. (Rule #2? “When I left, she was still alive!”). Eleanor Roosevelt once said something like, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Bitch was right! So when someone does you a favor say “Thank you” and move on. SAYING “THANK YOU” ONCE IS PLENTY IF YOU MEAN IT. Remember, desperation makes people nervous!
5. Don’t compare your progress to someone else’s. This one is hard for me because, as we all know, I am super jealous. If I were a super hero, jealousy would be my superpower. And what a dumb superpower, it wouldn’t even be able to help anyone! It’s tempting to want to look at Sally Mae and say, “Wow, Sally Mae has a boyfriend and a job and washboard abs” and then to cry about it, but don’t! Because for everything Sally Mae has, there’s something YOU have that SHE doesn’t. There always is! Because if she didn’t…SHE’D BE YOU. DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND? Really though, we’re all doing our best in this world and some people get there faster than others, but we all get there. Again, just look at the odds! Odds are by the time you die you’ll have done something great in your life! Even Phil Spector, who is now sitting in jail for murder, still changed music forever!! Wow!!
Dear Almie,
I so agree with #5 on your list! My voice teacher always says that the most important comparison is not of oneself to others but of today’s self to yesterday’s. I love reading your entries. Keep it up!