In case you haven’t seen it yet, here’s my video on how I’m coping.
I hate being single. I just hate it. I understand why people don’t understand why I hate it. I suppose that single = freedom. What it means to me is, “Fuck, now I have to do this shit all over again? Now when I’m at a party or a bar I have to obsessively wonder if that cute guy is single or not? And, if he is single, if I should say hi? Or maybe we have mutual friends on Facebook? And what if that other guy I sort of like doesn’t text me back, or what if he does and the text is misleading? Or what if I put the ball in his court? And who is going to go with me to Sylvia’s party with me next Friday?” Fuck. This. Shit.
So I’m not doing it anymore. I am not going to care. If you don’t text me that’s because you’re an idiot, and you have that right, but I’ll just move on. I really don’t give a sack anymore. I don’t have the energy. I’m out, Jerry!
Note: this is not me being self-pitying or hinting at anything. In other words, do not ask me out. I’m not saying that I’m awesome and that leagues of extraordinary gentleman are clamoring to ask me out. I’m saying, I really, really don’t feel like doing this, okay? Don’t ask me out. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to date. To try to get to know someone again. To try to care. That sounds cold, but I don’t mean it that way. It’s more of an observation as though I were observing myself. “Wow Almie, it sure is time consuming trying to get out of singletown.”
If I wanted a boyfriend right now, I could probably get one right now. But I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to be with someone just because I’m not currently with anyone. Like if I’m looking for a nice winter coat I’m not going to grab a parka from Wet Seal. That shit’s going to fall apart in five weeks. Just like a relationship.
If you liked this post, check out What we don’t tell, RED FLAGS, and WOST DATES EVER.
BRILLIANT!!!!! Love, love, love this!
Thank you!
UGH. Hate that shit. Fuck texting, bring on the face-to-face conversations.
Texting is tricky as FUCK.
The girl I have been seeing for the past few weeks? I deflect her texts and FB messages all the time and tell her “let me know when you’re free for dinner and we can continue this discussion.” I won’t start texting at length with a woman until we are exclusive and she knows me well enough not to misinterpret texts, or she understands why it might take me 5 – 8 hours to text her back.
I say you’re still breezy, Almie. A rad winter coat should be on its way.
In the meantime, enjoy the breeziness! xx
Awww thank you!
I hate being single for a bunch of reasons that make me slightly less sympathetic to your particular problems with being single but this was well written nonetheless.
Oh do tell! And thank you.
“I’m out, Jerry!” That’s my favorite episode of television. Ever.
Hope you find a way to get back into the world of not giving a shit if guys are single, because let me tell you, it’s pretty great (as a guy) being able to talk to a girl and not really feel like I should be trying to steal glances at her boobs or ass while trying to simultaneously listen to what she’s saying enough to find out if she’s taken and whether or not she eats meat because if there’s no bacon then a relationship is totally off the table.
single sisterdom from across the globe.
Mostly I just miss having someone I can automatically take with me to everything. Like, I have to beg and plead to find a friend to come see Harry Potter themed burlesque, but the ex would have come with no questions asked and at least pretended to care.
And also yeah, how did we forget how to date??
I’m so ok not being someone who is all like “single lady power!” but when I like being in a relationship but don’t want to be in one, it makes things hard.
sorry to rant in your comments!
YOU SIT THE FUCK DOWN RIGHT NOW. HARRY POTTER THEMED BURLESQUE?? WHO IS CRAZY NOT TO GO TO THAT? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOUR FRIENDS? I NEED TO HAVE A STERN WORD WITH THEM.
AND DON’T YOU EVER APOLOGIZE FOR RANTING IN MY COMMENTS, THAT’S WHY I’M HERE.
SERIOUSLY. IT’S CALLED HARRY POTTER AND THE CURSE OF THE TASSEL TWIRL.
THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I’VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. You need new friends.
Also, I’d hardly consider your comment a “rant”. Have you seen some of my comments? It’s like I have a blog within this blog!
Haha. Maybe the internet does have some sort of telepathic thing going for it – I can’t sleep and went into your blog. BOOM> this. I just got back together with the boy I broke up with 3 weeks ago. I hear you though – I TOTALLY HEAR YOU. Love is blind, kind of shitty and well – everything you said. Peace out sister.
I know exactly what you mean. My ex broke up with me in Feb. There was this initial phase of just being too heartbroken to do anything but go to work and stare at the ceiling instead of sleeping. And then, one night while starting at said ceiling, I just thought to myself, “Oh shit, I don’t think I even know how to talk to a guy as something other then a friend anymore. How do I even begin to get back in this?” I decided to just throw myself into work even more and make it so that I was so busy I didn’t have time to think about my ex or other dudes. I think it worked pretty well, I legitimately just don’t have the energy to deal with it. I’ve managed to further my career and avoid anxiety attacks from over analyzing everything a guy says or does! I’m not necessarily enjoying being single, I love being in a relationship, but I’m enjoying how my life is right now. I work hard, get to see my amazing friends and family and that’s really all I need in life for now.
Also though, after this break up, I went and re watched “How to get over a break up”. I’d always found it funny, but this time I was actually trying to recover from a break up too, and it just made so much sense and was more hilarious than before. It was one of the first things to make me smile again, so thank you!
I hate being single. For different reasons. I’m in this stage where I’m completely and utterly heartbroken that I am no longer with my ex (in fact we are so fucking broken up that I put at least two hundred miles of distance between us), but I’m kind of interested in this other guy (who may be moving out of the country?? way to rub salt in my wounds, universe), and in general I just don’t give a shit about guys, and whether or not they are single, and whether or not they like me, and whether or not they text me back, and whether or not I am interesting/smart/funny/charming/beautiful enough for them. I used to be totally intimidated by men, and super anxious about whether they liked me or whatever. And now I’m not. And it’s really liberating.
I hate being single too, and I hate how not ok it is to express that. You’re the best Almie! Never shop at Wet Seal.
Well, that pretty much sums up why I don’t like dating, either. It’s a ton of work for zero return, most of the time. And like someone else said up there, it’s hard to deal with the whole “Does he like me” thing when you’re used to only thinking of guys as friends.
Almie, you are amazing. And you obviously have a big support team behind you here! We may just be a bunch of words to you, but let me tell you I feel your pain.
I have not left my bed for a WEEK today. Pathetically it is because I am so tired of being single and feeling so worthless/ugly. Then I started thinking about it today & thought, “WHY the FUCK am I allowing something as pathetic as not having a boyfriend to do this to me? I’M A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN. I am talented, smart, fucking hilarious and any douche would be lucky to be in my presence even for a second.” I decided ball is in my court, things will happen when I want it to. People will have my precious time when I say so, and this time it is time to be selfish and focus on my happiness. Not letting someone define what makes me happy.
FUCK THOSE SCHMUCKS!!
Stay beautiful, amazing, talented and hilarious. You deserve to be happy, especially without some stupid guy dragging you down.
xoxo
Being single is hard but only if you focus on the being single without a man part. Try to see not being in a relationship as a way to get to know yourself, to do a little self discovery and soul searching. You may just find out more about yourself than you expected. When you stop caring about needing a guy, you will find that suddenly you are really awesome on your own and have more time to make your wants comes true. xoxo
I hear you. Or like, four months ago I heard you. I declared that I was done dating. I would take this one last date from OKCupid and that was fucking IT. I was DONE.
…and now I’m moving in with him. Because my not giving a damn and deciding to let things play out really did lead to things playing out. Which evidently lead to this really charming and kind gentleman thinking it’d be a good idea to invite the slobby, misanthropic sex blogger to move in.
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
is he single, is he just being nice and chatty? UGH.. I don’t want to do it all over again..
I fully know what you mean but sttooopppp thinking about iiiittt! I’ve been single for ages, and I’m too busy having a busy awesome life with tons of plans to notice. You don’t have to take a guy to everything and if all your friends are taken, find new single friends. JOB DONE.
There’s only some times where I’m like, really drunk and coming onto a guy I’m not even interested in just because I feel desperate, then he rejects me and I get angry and annoyed that I was rejected by someone I wasn’t even interested in, but that only happens like… sometimes/often?
xxx
when i was a teenager, i was convinced there was no possible way i was ever going to “fall in love” with someone who’s whereabouts where near mine. i imagined myself traveling far and wide (not for the sole purpose of finding the guy, but because i also pictured myself traveling a lot) and only then would i randomly someday stumble upon someone when i was like maybe 30 years old. because what are the odds that the dude is actually going to reside where i reside.
but that was before i realized that i could potentially “fall in love” with every guy that i found likeable, physically attractive, and interesting. in reality it was probably just because i’ve never been all that enthusiastic about being american and i just wanted to get the fuck out of here and marry a foreigner.
anyhow, you don’t have to do all that stuff! you’re cool, you can do whatever you please. <3 u Almie!!
Gah! You’re such a hoot and I love how real you are! I love your blog more and more each time I visit!
Being single always has and always will stink for many of us.