Apr

4

2014

I’m Trying To Be A Positive Person

grumpy cat positive person

It’s way easier for me to be a negative person than a positive one, and I think that’s true of most people, but I probably only think that because I’m used to being a negative person. I wrote an article for The Gaggle titled “How To Be A Positive Person Written By A Negative One“. I believe in every word I wrote; it’s just hard to follow it sometimes. It’s like a life habit that I’m trying to break.

Q: How many negative people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: “Fuck it, we’re screwed.”

Kanye West once said, “I’m so gifted at finding what I don’t like the most” and I really resonated with that. I am incredibly gifted at finding what I don’t like the most in any situation. And if things are going poorly? I’m ready to flee the city and move back in with my mommy.

My negativity has affected my friendships and my relationship, so it’s definitely something I’m looking to change. I’m trying to change it by changing my habitual negative response. So when I feel like things are going poorly, instead of reflecting on that, I try to focus on what I have, even if it’s a small thing or total duh thing. For example, I have all my limbs. And this isn’t me being a sarcastic bitch, I am honestly grateful for my limbs. I’m a writer, so it’s pretty sweet that I have arms and hands, and I like my legs. Even if I have to start there, that’s where I’ll start.

I’m also ready to change my verbal response when I get questions like, “How have you been?” Instead of saying, “Just dealing with the crushing anxiety in the pit of my stomach every day” I say things like, “I’ve been doing well, how are you?”

Is it a lie to say you’re doing well when you’re not, or is it just positive thinking? I don’t think of it as a lie, I think of it as reinforcing the positive. If I say things are good, maybe I’ll believe that they’re good. And, again, I have all my limbs.

So, if you’re like me, you need to get your shit together. Your friends and loved ones are gonna get real tired of your complaining, if they haven’t already — and guess what, they have. From this moment onward, you need to focus on the good things you have in your life, even if it’s just “I like my hair” or “There’s a new episode of my favorite show on tonight.” It’s okay to start small. You just have to start.

Embrace the good. There’s a lot of it, if you stop being a whining jerk. Remember: life doesn’t owe you anything. It’s up to you to make the best out of life. This year is going to go by whether you do something positive or not. So do positive things, make positive changes, and be positively upbeat that it’s going to work out for you, even if you can’t see the path. Just grab a flashlight and keep walking.

 

Photo of my cat Billie Jean by me @apocalypstick.

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Posted in: i guess this is advice, let's just talk from our hearts

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Andrew April 4, 2014 at 10:06 pm

My apparent lack of ability to be positive is probably right up there in the List of Reasons My Relationships End With Me in a Tub of Ice Cream and Stoli, so this post definitely makes me want to fist bump you and be like “you totally get me, Almie :’)”.

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Almie Rose April 5, 2014 at 1:25 pm

*Fist bump*

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Kate @ GreatestEscapist.com April 5, 2014 at 11:07 am

I, too, have been trying, though perhaps not actively as I should. Fake it ’til you make it, they say…

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Almie Rose April 5, 2014 at 1:25 pm

Yup, fake that shit!

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Jared April 5, 2014 at 12:52 pm

I feel you! I feel like no matter what new experience I make, my mind is already picturing a worst case scenario. However, I also have to say that being that skeptical I really know how to appreciate the goods things in life like a vacation or good friends – just because I know how special they are in a world full of potentially negative stuff ;)

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Almie Rose April 5, 2014 at 1:26 pm

Being skeptical isn’t a totally terrible thing, but I think we both know that picturing the worst case scenario immediately isn’t the best way to live life! :)

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Salome April 11, 2014 at 12:34 am

Yep, that gratitude thing really works. It’s just really hard when life sucks… woops, sorry, when LIFE IS REALLY GOOD TO ME.

I wrote a piece on this too.
http://shewritesaboutit.wordpress.com/2013/11/18/youre-not-being-positive-just-stupid/
I’ve also been crushed by anxiety my whole life and my way of dealing with it has been complaining and making jokes. But it’s been a few months now that I became a much more positive and peaceful person (try yoga) and it made life easier for everybody. Well, I think.

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Almie Rose April 11, 2014 at 6:11 pm

I read your piece and loved it. Well said.

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