Apr

22

2014

Love Your Boobs, Everyone Else Does

love your boobs

Ladies (and gentlemen), let’s talk about boobs.

Specifically, let’s talk about boob acceptance. Yes, I said it: boob acceptance. Because so many companies want us to feel bad about our boobs. The media is so ready to rate actresses based on cup size. Magazines tell small-chested ladies not to wear bandeau bathing suit tops because it’s not “flattering” — flattering, meaning, “big breasted”. (More on this later.)

There’s nothing wrong with having big breasts. And there’s nothing wrong with having small breasts, either.

Can we all agree that breasts are great? They feed our kids. As a mother, which I am not and probably never will be, I find that amazing. We’ve got baby restaurants in our bodies.

But when you’ve got small baby restaurants, you’re suddenly forced into thinking that you should have bigger ones. I went through a few years where I yearned for bigger breasts. I called my parents, crying, like a total brat, begging for breast implants. That’s probably one of my most shameful moments. I didn’t appreciate my body and all the great things it could do for me – I was upset because I didn’t have a C-cup.

Let me pause here and say, if you’ve got or are getting implants, that’s totally fine, too! I want you to love your body, and if you have the means and the ability, and you want to pump those suckers up, go ahead. Not my business.

I would just hate if you did it because you felt like you had to. You should never change your body for someone else, especially for just an idea of what someone else wants. You should love your body. And it’s damn hard sometimes, I understand.

When I saw an article in a major women’s magazine advising women what bathing suits to wear based on their cup sizes, I was annoyed. They took a beautiful A-cup sized woman, who was smiling and happy in her “before” photo, bandeau top and all, and put her in a padded bra in the “after” photo, with the caption, “FIXED!” What the hell needed to be fixed? Why shouldn’t she flaunt her small boobs? What is so offensive about small boobs? Why do they need to be “fixed”?

Do you know how hard it is to find a bra for my boobs that isn’t padded? It’s like the world is telling me I’m not good enough. (Though I don’t feel bad; I have a theory that hipster guys love small boobs.)

But I’m sick of it, I’m done. Yes, some of my bras are padded, and some of them aren’t. Sometimes I feel like having some artificial cleavage, and sometimes I don’t. And that’s my decision to make, and yours, too. There’s nothing inherently bad about push-up bras as long as they don’t make you miserable for what you don’t have. Because I see them as celebrating what I do have: they may be small, but they’re awesome, and sometimes, they get a little assist.

I’m not going to give a list of models and actresses who are smaller chested, because that’s silly, and the point isn’t to make everyone worship at the altar of Audrey Hepburn (whoops — okay, no more names). The point is to celebrate our breasts for what they are and aren’t. We’re too fixated on boobs. Back when I was shaming my body, my argument was that I needed implants to “make me more balanced.” Where the hell did I get that notion? My body isn’t a level that’s going to be used to hang a picture frame. Balance is all in your head. Proportion is all in your head.

So use your head and accept your boobs. I don’t care if you think they’re “too small” or “too big” or “too lopsided” or “too saggy” — they’re yours. Forever. Just love them already. Life is too damn short to hate your boobs.

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Posted in: body image, let's hug it out, let's just talk from our hearts

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Mike April 22, 2014 at 5:02 pm

Thank you for this post. Boobs are awesome. ALL OF THEM.

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Almie Rose April 22, 2014 at 5:09 pm

Thank YOU for the comment!

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Kate @ GreatestEscapist.com April 22, 2014 at 5:38 pm

Ughhhh, I don’t think I’m ever going to come around on this. I hate mine & am convinced everyone else does, too. And as I’m less than six months from 30, I assume they’re only going to get worse. THANKS FOR REMINDING ME.

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Almie Rose April 23, 2014 at 12:41 pm

No no no! You can totally come around on this! No one else hates your boobs, I promise. Unless they bite people.

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Ben April 23, 2014 at 1:48 pm

Which reminds me. Look up a short story called “Savage Breasts” by Nina Kiriki Hoffman if you can.

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Almie Rose April 23, 2014 at 2:00 pm

Will do, thanks!

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Ben April 22, 2014 at 10:28 pm

I’ve said for years: There are some things which do not exist in any graduations of bad. There’s good and there’s better, but there is no bad. One of these things (or two of these things, k’yuk k’yuk) is breasts.

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Almie Rose April 23, 2014 at 12:42 pm

Word.

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Sarah April 23, 2014 at 4:36 pm

I’ve never really had much of an opinion one way or the other about my boobs, they’re, well, they’re there. Disliking them seems a bit pointless. Although I do get a tad jealous of them from time to time, it sometimes feels as though they’re more popular than I am.

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Megly Mc May 5, 2014 at 9:32 pm

I love my boobs. They fed my kids, gave a place for the people I love most to lay their heads, and bought be countless free beers. They’re not perfect, but they’re mine. They’ve worked hard, these girls, and I love them forever.

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Lana May 6, 2014 at 4:30 am

I really like your posts normally but this one started out with good intentions (love and accept your body) but throughout the article continues to emphasise small breasts are ok by qualifying it with “hipster guys like them” and they can look good too. This shouldn’t have to a reason to love your breasts! They are love worthy regardless of anyone else liking them. Also this article suggests that large breasts are desirable. Although I appreciate the stereotype is for men to like c cup and d cup (what even does that mean anyway?!) women with over an E cup get the same amount of crap: “you should go get a reduction”.

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Mila May 6, 2014 at 6:29 am

I am european G cup and they make padded bras even for this size!
I’ve been very depressed because of my body and my boobs – not anymore. When I was in school kids were bullying me because of my big size. And shoppng is hell – there’s lots and lots cute bras in any prize for small chested girls, but when I go shopping – anything that doesn’t look like for my great-grandmother – is fashionable and fits me – costs so fucking much – at least in the city where I live.
I hate boobs intollerance!

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Hyacinth Jones June 1, 2014 at 9:30 pm

I just found this on The Frisky (I think) and couldn’t agree with you more! I run a weekly meme called Boobday based on the very idea that all breasts are fantastic and that women should celebrate them no matter they don’t look like a Maxim image. Fuck that: they’re so much more than perpetual, perky, globes of flesh.

I welcome big, small, fake, cis-, trans-, and all colors to participate, and it sort of baffles me that small-busted women are one of the least-represented on the blog. I routinely get emails from those women sharing their struggles to reach some kind of acceptance. It just doesn’t seem fair.

Anyway, I’m glad someone else is out there fighting the Boob Fight, too.

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