As promised (to no one but myself into my glass of riesling), here are photos from my trip. Just to prove I was there. Although they’re not really typical “brother graduated from college” photos. Those are on a private website where my mom can gush over them and I can applaud myself for using the manual focus on my camera for once. These photos are those moments in between moments. When you’re waiting for something, or you’re a little tipsy, or you just need to do something with your hands and you don’t smoke. Click! Most of these I didn’t take. Try to figure out which ones. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

My brother. When he’s not busy sitting in dark restaurants, he works as a silhouette in old timey profile photos on Disneyland’s Main Street.

Damn, I just quoted The Simpsons. I’ve been trying not to do that lately. Because at this point I feel like I do it far too often and should be paying them. Whatever, I could easily write a Simpsons epsiode. Bart and Milhouse switch places and hilarity ensues! Homer goes into a deep depression and Marge begs him to start therapy and he’s like, “Mr. Burns won’t cover the health insurance!” and he hits her and Maggie cries and then Moe rapes someone. No, no, I kid, that’s a terrible Simpsons episode. Here, something to cleanse your palate: DENTAL PLAN!

I think if I ever got a tattoo it would be Simpsons related. Did you see the amazing Milpool tattoo? I am so jealous I didn’t think of that! I tried to find a photo for reference but all I got was this and photos of luxury swimming pools. But that’s not important right now. God, my brother’s University graduation commencement was three hours long. The boredom was crushing. At one point my boyfriend and I just starting taking close-up shots of each others’ faces. Because we’re twelve. But there’s only so many photos you can take of your brother sitting in a crowd of thousands of students.

This is my 91-year-old great uncle Sammy! Yes, literally 91! He is in amazing shape! And he’s drinking straight vodka! Look at him!  My dad’s side of the family live long, healthy lives. Those wacky Italians!

Kiss On My List (Hall & Oates cover) — The Bird And The Bee


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