UrbanNATURES Jewelry Giveaway!

UrbanNATURES jewelry by Almie Rose

UrbanNATURES jewelry wants you guys to have a City Scape necklace and bracelet, like the ones above! Here I am showing them off SUPER SEDUCTIVELY:

almie-rose-urbannatures

UrbanNATURES is a charitable fashion jewelry brand that donates 15% of its proceeds to a non-profit organization. This necklace and bracelet depicts a city skyline, so in order to enter to win, I want you to write one line about your favorite city. You can tell me what your favorite thing about your city is, or what your favorite city is and why. For example, my favorite thing about LA is that magical hour at 4 AM when there’s no traffic on the 405 freeway.

Want your very own necklace and bracelet? IT’S YOURS! Just:

  • Tell me in one line your favorite thing about a city you love.
  • Like UrbanNATURES on Facebook.
  • Follow them on Instagram.

Anyone can enter (in the USA, possibly Canada), and anyone can win! I’ll choose a winner next Friday. Good luck!

GIVEAWAY OVER. WINNER CHOSEN. THANKS FOR ENTERING!!!!

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The Lena Dunham Problem

exercise

Lena Dunham is big business. Just her name evokes the strongest of human reactions. The IMDB message boards, a place where good comments go to die and bad comments grow to Voldemort proportions, has called her basically every kind of farm animal in existence. Some choice comments:

Yea so my girlfriend is watching this and I ended up sitting there watching it and she comes on naked? Ugh *beep* disgusting. 

Quest for dumpiness – Lena, who walked the tight-rope between dumpy and do-able, finally took the plunge into dump-ville. She joined the ranks of the throngs of small town Southern girls by getting the 50yr old woman haircut. Other than the dyke mullet, there are few haircuts that send straight guys running for the hills better than the old lady cut on the 20 something yr old girl.

I don’t hate her,… I like her show, I mean,… I think some moments are stupid and weak, but is also something different. I do think however she is overrated and there is too much hype on her and her show.

What an ugly woman! Looked horrible at the Emmy Awards. She was dressed like a circus clown. 

These comments are mean but the second from the last one caught me. It seems that everyone over 40 is ready to call Lena the voice of our generation, but being in my generation, no one is even close to giving her our voice. We’re barely giving her our praise.

And it’s not that we think her show, Girls, is downright terrible (well, I guess some of us do. Personally, I think it isn’t terrible, nor do I think it’s fantastic. I think it exists and is pretty good at existing. I swear, I don’t mean any of this as an insult. The show is fine.) I think that most of us are most offended by Girls not for its content but for its takeover.

Because the thing is, Girls is nothing new to us. I guess it’s new for the 40+ crowd, but we’ve been blogging all this shit for years now. It’s just that Dunham got lucky enough to be in the right place, at the right time, and from the home of the right people.

So is it just jealousy? Yeah, you know what? It is a little bit of jealousy. I don’t think there’s anything she’s doing that I haven’t seen done just as well or better than on my friends’ blogs or their YouTube channels. How did she get her show anyway? She made a movie. A small indie film starring her and her mom, with her sister. How did that get noticed enough to have someone say, ‘Here’s your HBO show, enjoy”?

The Lena Dunham problem is that the older generations are using her to speak for us, when the thing is, she’s speaking with us or even after us. Nothing she’s doing is new, and we wish it was maybe done a little better. As a female writer, I’m happy that she’s got a show and a $3 million book deal, because it shows that people are willing to listen with their money to female writers. And that’s great. There’s lots of Lena Dunhams out there. She’s just the only Lena Dunham who got there first.

 

Originally posted on Weekly Whatevs.
Image credit: “5-Exercise with Household utensils” by Nina Leen for LIFE via LIFE photo archives for Google.

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Piano Man

Almie Rose

Billy Joel drawing by me. Incredible, isn’t it?

Billy Joel’s “Piano Man” has reached now legendary status, but it wasn’t always that way. My cousin and his fiancé told me a story about Billy Joel that I hope is true, because if it isn’t, it really ruins everything I’m about to write.

They said that Billy Joel was struggling with his record label. He hadn’t delivered what they wanted and they were ready to drop him. They gave him one last chance. “Come in tomorrow,” I imagine they said, “And play us whatever you got left.” That night, a young Mr. William Joel trudged home to Long Island, or wherever the hell he was living, and said to himself, “Billy? It’s time to shine.”

I imagine he sat down at his piano and thought very hard. “It’s time,” he said quietly. “It’s time I give them ‘The Piano Guy.'” (I like to imagine at that point, he hadn’t come up with the now title “Piano Man” but that he was working instead on “The Piano Guy”.)

The song is full of characters who are in dead-end job living sad lives. There’s Paul, a real estate novelist, who never had time for a wife. And he’s talking to Davy, who’s still in the navy, and probably will be for life. That’s heavy stuff for a pop song, Doc. I bet Joel had a talk with a bartender who told him, word-for-word, “Bill, I believe this is killing me. Well I’m sure that I could be a movie star if I could get out of this place.” And then the smile ran away from his face and won a MEDAL for its speed.

Anyway, Joel hammered out this song in one night. He had the bare bones, but it was time for the meat. They wanted a burger, he was going to give them a burger. The next morning he strolled in, with “The Piano Guy” in his head. No sheet music, no nothing — it was all in Casa de Joel en la Cabeza. “William,” I imagine his stuffy manager said. “We’re all in the mood for a melody. And you got us feeling alright.”

“Shit, that’s good,” Joel thought, as he mentally scribbled those lyrics in. “Much better than, ‘we’d like to hear a big fat song and you’ve got us feeling not wrong.'” He sat down at the piano, about to play.

“Uh…William?” his manager interrupted. “Billy, sir.” “Yes, Billy. Are you going to…show us, anything son? Sheet music? Lyrics? Can you tell us anything? How long this is?” “No,” Mr. Billy said, taking a drag of a cigarette that materialized out of nowhere. “I got this.”

And he puts on his sunglasses and starts to play. And keep in mind, it’s just him and some executives in a room. (This part is apparently true.) It’s just him, singing and playing for his life, with “Piano Man.” He’s fighting for his career with this one song. And it’s the song that becomes one of the most legendary songs of his career and of singer/songwriter history. “Piano Man” is actually one of my least favorite Joel songs; it’s so long and involved, it feels like I’m listening to a book on tape. But you can’t deny the power and endurability of “Piano Man.”

They couldn’t either. After Joel finished playing, the room was silent. Was this a good thing? He wasn’t sure. He takes off his sunglasses. “I guess you guys aren’t ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it.”

And their kids did love it. “Piano Man” was Billy Joel’s biggest hit ever and even inspired Bill Clinton to run for President of the United States of America (note: this is probably not true at all as I just made it up, but who knows?)

The point to ALL OF THIS is, Joel was on his last chance and he cranked out his biggest song. What if he gave up? And what if YOU gave up? What if you’re giving up your own “Piano Man”? Get my point here? We can’t give up, because we could be giving up our biggest success without even realizing it. That’s why we have to keep trying, we have to keep going, even when all we want to do is just crash our cars into trees in the Hamptons. We have to keep moving. We have to keep singing our song. We don’t stop until we have our “Piano Man” and then we just keep on flying. Please follow my advice to get to your own “River Of Dreams” and I know you may think I don’t know what I’m talking about, and “You May Be Right” but do it anyway as a “A Matter of Trust” and take my advice even though I’m just “The Stranger” with a weird blog.

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Shopping Local In Los Angeles

Apocalypstick

I try to shop local, I really do. This is mostly because I used to work at a local, independent store in Los Angeles a few years ago that despite being around since the 1990’s, had to sadly close.

Working in retail comes with its own set of challenges, some of which I wrote about here. I think anyone in retail will tell you that sometimes, the customers are the worst part of the job (sorry, customers! I understand, I am one sometimes!). But I loved the store. The idea behind the store was like a real-life Etsy. It was divided into different sections/booths. Each section had its own vendor/artist. Each vendor/artist rented their own section and sold their work. Work like jewelry, clothing, housewares, art — that kind of thing. All artists/vendors were LA local. Sometimes they would come into the store. We would have street fairs.

When I bought something from that store (and most of my paycheck went right into the store), I knew EXACTLY where it was going. I knew it was going to the artist, and that made me happy. One of my all-time favorite purchases was a heavy sterling silver skull ring I named Keanu. It SO was NOT my style AT ALL, but for whatever reason, I had to have it. And I was happy to buy it knowing where exactly my money was going.

LA is freaking huge, and it’s getting harder and harder to find those supercool Portlandia-type independent stores and restaurants. Unless you live in the supercool area of Silver Lake/Los Feliz that I do. Before I moved here, I would make so much fun of this neighborhood. But now, living here, I love it. I can walk almost everywhere. That’s a crazy talent in LA. To be able to WALK to get to places. And I’ve discovered so many wonderful essential stores, all owned independently, all part of the local community (the essentials being clothing, records, and liquor. But I’m sure you figured that out).

So I urge you to shop local. Sometimes I shop at the farmer’s markets — I’m lucky enough to have 2 within walking distance. I realize not everyone is as fortune, but if you are, dude. You probably see them every week and think, “Oh next week, yeah, I’m totally gonna go. I’m gonna wear my cutest outfit and go to the mother effin’ FARMER’S MARKET and Instagram the HELL out of EVERYTHING!!!” and then the day comes and you don’t go because you’re “busy.” I do that too. But one day, they may not be there.

Do YOU shop local/independent? Why or why not?

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How do you make your money matter? You can find out more at MakeYourMoneyMatter.org, which is one of the cooler websites I’ve seen, in terms of many things but especially animation and graphic design. Start local. Join your local credit union. Keep your money in your community. Make your money matter.

This post is sponsored by Make Your Money Matter, in association with PSCU, though all views expressed are my own.
Photo credit: me, @apocalypstick.

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SHABBY APPLE DRESS WINNER!

Almie Rose

The winner of my first ever Shabby Apple dress giveaway is…

 

WREN!!! Congratulations, Wren! Please email me and I’ll send you a FABULOUS LIST OF DRESSES FOR YOU TO CHOOSE FROM!

Thanks to everyone who participated! (Sorry, Canadians. Sad face.) Winner was chosen at random, using a random list generator.

I’m having another giveaway coming up soon — jewelery this time! So keep an eye out. More chances to win stuff! Woohoo!

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I Speak Simpsons

Simpsons pictures that I gone and done

The Simpsons just began its 25th season and I haven’t seen a new episode in about 10 years. But I still speak the language.

People have written hundreds of essays about Simpsons quotes and quoting The Simpsons in everyday life. Quotes beyond your typical “D’oh!” and “Exccccellent” and “Eat my shorts!” (Although I don’t know anyone who still says that last one.)

Then there are longer quotes that seem misplaced, but make sense in the right context. For example, if it’s a bad day outside or something isn’t going your way, you could say, “Lousy Smarch weather.” Or if it is a beautiful day and things are going your way, you could say, “Everything’s coming up Milhouse!”

coming-up-milhouse

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Shabby Apple Dress Giveaway!

Almie Rose in Shabby Apple for Shabby Apple Dress Giveaway http://apocalypstick.com/shabby-apple-dress-giveaway/

Shabby Apple wants you to feel simply lovely and I want to help so we’re giving away one free dress! My birthday this this Thursday but I want to celebrate by giving YOU guys something. In the photo above I’m wearing the “Boogie Woogie” dress, courtesy of Shabby Apple. It has a Betty Drapertastic retro feel to it. It fits great, though I did have to get it hemmed, which was to be expected. I’m doing this giveaway because I love Shabby Apple’s dresses because of their perfect vintage, early 1960’s feel to them. While not genuine vintage clothing Shabby Apple is an inspired new take on old favorites, from Mad Men gowns to Bardot stripes. And the dress I’m giving away doesn’t have to be this one — you get to choose from a huge selection of Shabby Apple dresses.

GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED, THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Here’s how to enter!

1. Like Shabby Apple on Facebook.

2. Follow Shabby Apple on Instagram.

3. Leave a comment with your first name.

Note: Giveaway is only available in the United States. Sorry!

I’m going to choose a winner at random. The giveaway starts today, 10/21 and will go until Friday, 10/25. If you’re the winner, I’ll have to verify that you liked Shabby Apple on Facebook and followed on Instagram and then you’ll get to choose a dress!

GO FOR IT! A MERRY BIRTHDAY TO ALL!

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