skull printed shirt

(Note: this part of the story happened a few weeks ago). I freaked out when I lost this shirt. I bought it at a store in Sacramento and I went back (not just for the shirt, to see my mom) and I ran in there and said, please tell you still have them, and they said we just sold out, but these are similar, and they showed me a shirt that had different skulls on it, and those skulls looked like lightbulbs, and I was like, are you planning to order more? and they said no, and my world closed in around me, but then my friend Laura said, try calling the Karaoke place, so I did, and they had it, and I said PLEASE HOLD ONTO IT and I dashed over. Yesterday Troy at the apple store called and said, “You left your hard drive here” and I snorted and said, “Okay.”

Then 3 nights ago I was on a JetBlue flight to NYC and my TV was the only one that wasn’t lit up, and the guy said, “Maybe you have bad electromagnetic energy” and I said, “I really hope that isn’t the case, sir” and he said, “It will start once we’re in the air” and then I pointed around me at every single TV showing its JetBlue screen with moving images and said, “Then why are all the others working” and he said, “Just relax” and I said, “No, you don’t understand, my priorities are screwed up, and right now, this little TV is my entire life.”

The TV remained broken so he switched me to a new seat and a few hours later when it was dark I went to the bathroom and got lost on my way back to the seat and do you have any idea how fucking embarrassing it is to forget where you were sitting on an airplane? To walk down that aisle that seems so long with people staring at you, and I’m looking visibly confused and saying out loud, to no one, “Haha oops I forgot where I sat, where was I sitting?” with NO ONE HELPING ME, just STARING AT ME, with their stupid frog-like eyes, it was horrible, I almost fell into a heap crying, “JUMANJI!!!!!”

Anyway, merry Christmas.


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11 thoughts on “Priorities.

  1. Jeannie

    Almie, one time I had bit too much ~magic brownie~ before an SFO-Chicago flight on Virgin Air. I thought some TV would calm me down, so I tried to turn it on and it was BROKEN. I was paranoid and couldn’t do anything about it, but inside, I was screaming. I think you get me. Thank you for getting me.

    1. Jeannie

      I should mention that you’d think Virgin Air’s sexy European pink and purple mood lighting would be calming and relaxing, but no, it only freaked me out further.

  2. Elizabeth

    LOL at the guy above ^^^

    But seriously. This has happened to me before. Not the Troy part, the forgetting where you sit and then having that horrible confused face. Even though nobody is looking. But nobody feels like the WORLD when on an airplane.

  3. Kate

    Well, you may be losing your mind, but at least you still have that fly shirt! Also, you look extra sexy in that picture…ladycrush growing exponentially.

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