So for Halloween I went as Lady Gaga and as a sandwich. Sandwiches are my favorite things and I found the costume in my closet. I totally forgot that I had it. My dad made it for me for my senior year of high school for a play I wrote. The Gaga costume was easy. I had everything for that in my closet already. Seriously.
Here are my helpful Halloween tips, for next Halloween:
– Avoid West Hollywood like it’s on fire.
– A funny costume is way more popular with guys than a Gaga costume/”sexy” costume. Because there’s nothing intimidating about a sandwich and everybody loves them. This was a serendipitous discovery but something that I always suspected.
– You should really bring your camera or at least a cellphone. AND USE IT!! Halloween is maybe the one holiday where it is totally acceptable and not annoying to take lots of photos. DON’T BE SHY!
– There is nothing wrong with being in your 20s and going into Ralphs on November 1st for 50% off Halloween candy and taking bags of it home and mixing it all into one big basket and then “trick-or-treating” from it and putting it into your free trick-or-treat bag from Gelsons. Really. I mean, right? Right you guys? Come on, show of hands, who DIDN’T spend last night eating candy while watching “Weeds” and “How I Met Your Mother”? Hello?
– “Thriller” is ALWAYS popular on Halloween. People act like it’s overplayed, but play it at a Halloween party and watch people LOSE. THEIR. SHIT.
– The key to finding a Halloween costume that’s popular but not too popular is to go on Amazon.com and click on page 5 of “popular costumes” and pick the first costume on that page. At least this is what a guy dressed as a taco told me. And if you can’t believe a talking taco, who can you believe?
– “I was the guy who complimented you on your Gaga costume on Friday night when you were sitting on the couch with Molly…best Gaga costume I saw all weekend. I always preferred her simple more elegant looks, so kudos for going down that route.” — Terry H. Oh this isn’t advice, I just wanted to brag.
I already gave props to my dad for my sandwich, so I’d like to thank the following people for making my Gaga look come together:
– Props to the guy working at Aahs! who helped me try on many long blonde wigs.
– Props to the guy walking by me at Aahs! as I was trying on wigs in the mirror who shouted, “Hey Lady Gaga!” only confirming that this was my destiny.
– Props to Josh for offering me his elbow so that I could walk down the steep hill in thigh boots without killing myself, even though I misheard him and thought he was offering me a hobo, and that shit was about to get real weird.
– Props to Laura who told me that I reminded her of Lady Gaga and that this was in no way and insult. Sure.
– Props to the girl at the first Halloween party who approached me and said, “Oh my God, I’m actually afraid to talk to you, I feel like you’re actually her.” Props to the other people there who said they loved my costume. Super props to the guy who shouted, “I love your costume, Carmen San Diego!”
– And finally, props to Gaga, for finally making it acceptable for me to go pantsless in public on one day of the year. Goddamn I hate pants.
But let it be known: I love sandwiches FAR more than I love Lady Gaga. Sorry.
How was your Halloween? What did you dress up as and what did you do? I’m always curious to hear about other peoples’ Halloweens. Like who wants to hear about someone else’s Thanksgiving? But Halloween, hell yeah.
Just Dance (CJ Milli Remix) — Lady Gaga vs Sigur Ros
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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
LOL Lady Gaga AND a Sandwich? Way to diversify haha. I was Peter Pan and my boyfriend was Jimi Hendrix. We went to this thing called Moonfest in West Palm Beach that is basically an enormous block party where people get drunk and slutty and parade around in next to nothing, but then again they do that anyway. A Place to Bury Strangers (from Brooklyn) played though and rocked everyone’s faces off so at least there was that.
Per your inspiring Fashion & The Shining post and my total lack of enthusiasm about wearing a real costume to the Village’s parade I rummaged through my closet and put together a modern Shelley Duvall in The Shining outfit. It turned my attitude around and made my Halloween. Thank you. (I guess it helped that Shelley and I share a name too, or whatever. )
OH MY GOSH, really?? That’s great to hear! Thank you!
Definitely should have dressed up as the Turnip (or was it an onion). Or the carrot.
Dude my dad through the turnip out years ago…and I think the carrot recently went the same route. sad face.
Weather permitting, pants are totally unnecessary. Just like Bill O’Reilly!
You could’ve gone as Lady Gaga in a sandwich.
First, to comment on your “A funny costume is way more popular with guys than a Gaga/”sexy” costume.” Last year, my first year in graduate school when I didn’t really know anyone, I went as a taco. In a homemade taco costume. The next day, everyone at school was like, “Who was that drunk taco at Zach’s house? She was awesome.” So, yeah.
This year, I was a Shake Weight girl. On the verge of sexy but still ridiculous. Not as fun as being a taco. I still got to make genitalia jokes all night, though, so that was a plus.
I love your sandwich costume. LOVE. And love that your dad made it.
OMG SHAKE WEIGHT GIRL. PIX?
It was literally me in a tank top and spandex shorts with some leg warmers and heels and a Shake Weight. I was mildly embarrassed about buying it at Rite Aid.
I heartily agree with your assessment that people aren’t afraid to talk to ladies in non-sexy costumes – and that this is a good thing. On year a dressed as a crayon while my entire sorority house dressed like Moulin Rouge girls. Who got laid? THIS PINK CRAYON.
HELL YEAH!
I was Flo from the Progressive commercials because I think she really is me if I was about 10 years older and in show business…and I’m only a little ashamed that I bought and wore a “Bump-it!”..
OH MY GOD I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I WOULD KILL TO HAVE A CAREER LIKE FLO. I thought about dressing as her too! Pix?
Hers is a pretty sweet career though I prefer mine (I’m a librarian), but I think we’re the same person personality-and-looks-wise…How would I go about posting a pic here?
Okay, just tweeted it to you because that seemed easiest. Also, you’ll be happy to hear that today is National Sandwich Day!
I never got your tweet!
sad face
You are undeniably the best Gaga I’ve seen.
THANK YOU!
Ahh, who doesn’t love sandwiches? You. Are. Brilliant. I was Hayley Williams (Paramore) for Halloween. Good thing nobody knew who I was, so that paid off. (not really). Everyone thought I was the girl from the Fifth Element which is a good idea too.
i was elvira…not so much funny…more sexy. felt like i needed to be sexy this year since last year i was elvis. i bought and wore that perfect nars red you told me about…it was AMAZING!!
so i had a party and a bunch of us were out on the porch when a few people realize that a man had taken post on the steps of some house across the street where he began to masturbate. yeeeeeeeeeeeah…awesome.
when you live in la…EVERYONE is gonna show up to your halloween or new years party because everyone wants to do something, but no one wants to deal with hollywood traffic, or pay a million dollars to get into and over crowded club.
HA.. Carmen San Diego! love it
Definitely agree about the clever costume thing. The streets were littered with people in generic sexy get-ups. Seriously, if you’re going down the slutty road, at least pick a theme. No one likes a girl with a pirate hooker dress on (with no accessories) and Ugg boots.
I opted for a cereal killer costume this year. It was great to see all the hard core drunks so proud of themselves when they figured out what I was. Even better was the part where some guy yelled, “OMGGGGGGGG, hahahahahahahahha, someone go find Snap, Crackle, and Pop! There’s a cereal killer here!”. YAY Halloween!
you look cute in your sandwich thanks for the halloween tips
you have such a funny blog! awesome post!
thelibertybelleblog.blogspot.com
Went as Ginny Weasley.
Everyone confused me for Hermione even though I have BRIGHT red hair. I question the intelligence of people sometimes.
All I really did was give out candy with my friends, I’m not cool enough to be invited to parties apparently.
Also, I love your sandwich costume, even though you made me hungry.
I was Snooki for Halloween. I felt lame for the self-esteem boost when someone recognized my costume. Totally gonna be a sandwich next year though!
If I didn’t know any better yes you do look like Ms Gaga. Fantastic. Love it!
Here in Australia, we don’t celebrate Halloween like you guys do. Some people might throw a party or maybe trick of treat, but not everyone like in the states. We don’t decorate our houses or anything of that nature.
I have spent two halloweens in the states and I had an absolute blast. I even have halloween stuff still which sits on my wall unit and each halloween I play the dancing skeleton. brings back awesome memories for me
I was Bill Cosby. I sat around all day in leggings and a t-shirt, then when night rolled around I put on a funk-ay sweater.
Admittedly, I do a pretty solid Cosby impression: the kids with their rap music and their pants all hanging around their ankles.
You get it?? You get it.
I get it and it’s beautiful.
Ahhhh, love them both!
Also: that is some sound Halloween advice. Well done.
I went as Shosanna Dreyfus from Inglourious Basterds (with the red dress and pillbox hat and warpaint). I’ve been told by a few people I look like the actress so I jumped on that bad boy. Then I went and saw Rocky Horror for the first time and was grossly overdressed.
Love your costumes!!!!
I went as Wenda… the twin sister from “Where’s Waldo?”
You are right wearing a non-sexy costume seems less intimidating for most guys and still gets lots of attention. As a bonus… if people couldn’t guess who I was, I just had to go hide behind someone or sometthing : )
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