“Sexy” Halloween Costumes = Normal Bowie Costumes

“Sexy” Halloween costumes are nothing new. It’s great fun though to point out how stupid some of them are (like who wants to be “Sexy Chinese Takeout”? But yes, that costume actually exists). Then I noticed something. A lot of these “Sexy” costumes double as great David Bowie costumes. No, seriously. All you have to do is picture these costumes with Ziggy Stardust makeup and a fun wig like this (just cut short). And of course thigh high boots will need to be applied to all outfits.

For example, this Sexy cop outfit makes a stellar Ziggy get-up. Simply lose the hat, belt, and cuffs. NOW who’s jamming good with Weird and Gilly? It’s you, rockstar!

Go for that Space Bowie look with this “women’s astronaut costume” (yeah I don’t think it’s NASA approved). Just ditch the cleavage — you’re David Bowie now!

“You remind me of the babe–” “What babe?” “THE SEXY BABE DRESSED AS LABYRINTH BOWIE!” Be your own Goblin King in this “Lady of The Court” costume. Get this wig and an ascot and a stolen baby and you’ll be seducing a teenage Jennifer Connelly in no time!

This was almost too easy. Remember, Ziggy Stardust was a child of the 70s, and it didn’t matter what planet he came from — all jumpsuits from the 70s were ugly. Lose the belt on this one, stuff the bellbottoms into boots and before you know it, you’ll have Iggy Pop chasing after you with a stick!

Looks like one girl’s minidress is another Bowie’s tunic! Replace the belt with a simple sash, tie another sash around your neck, and get some baggy thigh high boots on this one. With the right make-up and hair you’ll have everyone’s mother in a whirl, you boy and/or girl!

All you need is a guitar, but if you want to really go that extra mile, wear the “Hollywood Glamour Kimono” untied with a metallic bathing suit/one piece underneath. That Starman in the sky is going to be looking down at you, jealous as fuck!

“Princess Padme Amadala Costume” my ass, I know a David Bowie costume when I see one. Don’t let the utility belt fool you! You can even keep the boots, or get a shiny color if you really want people to say, “DAVID FUCKING BOWIE!” You don’t even have to replace ray-gun with a cigarette; just put it to your head and freak out in a moonage daydream! Oh yeah!

(All costumes from Yandy.)

(Important shout-out to Cézanne for resizing the photos and placing them side-to-side for me, since yes, I really have no idea how to do that.)

Stardust Kids — Davie Bowie vs MGMT (A Plus D)


Follow me on Twitter | Facebook

29 thoughts on ““Sexy” Halloween Costumes = Normal Bowie Costumes

  1. Jesse

    Some ways to chalk up extra points on your early-70s Bowie costume:

    1) Spar frequently with your batty lesbian wife.
    2) Hint at a passing flirtation with cocaine. Then move to Berlin 5 years later to kick your all-consuming addiction.
    3) If you can pretend to be gay-but-not-really-gay-at-least-until-your-early-80s-Rolling Stone-profile, you win at life.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      Though this is now almost a year old, these are still solid and excellent tips.

  2. filleosophy

    I think my personal favorite is the “Hollywood Glamour Kimono.” Look at all of that utility! Is it truly offensive Asian garb (due to how ugly it is — if you’re going to do Asia, you have to do it right!)? Is it David Bowie? Is it your new bathrobe? Is it what you wear on Christmas morning to ensure that you still stand out in photos next to your sister and her new breast augmentation? Is it the beginnings of a DIY lampshade? There are just so many options. It’s the new little black dress!

  3. Jesse

    I just love the idea of someone resenting their sister ostentatiously showing off her new boobs on Christmas morning, It’s a sketch I’d like to write.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      Jesse bb ilu but you totally ruined the formatting here. I think maybe it’s time to stop drinking and blogging.

  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention “Sexy” Halloween Costumes = Normal Bowie Costumes — A P O C A L Y P S T I C K -- Topsy.com

  5. subWOW

    Please accept a sincere thank-you from an old fart: your obsession with David Bowie somehow makes it cool (or at least OK) to declare my love for Bowie without seeming too old-farty. I was LOL the whole way ’cause this post reminds me of the Bowie episode of Flight of the Conchords.

  6. Sage

    I will never look at David Bowie the same again! Well I don’t since he was in the movie Labrynth. I still cannot get out of mind how they zoom in on his grey tights to his groin area!

  7. Bee

    After this post, I decided that I am officially following this site with an almost religious zeal. I’ve a terrible thing for Bowie- and Thomas Jefferson- but that’s another story entirely. Anyhow, I think you’re brilliant.

  8. Dom

    Ok, article aside, thankyou so much for linking to that mashup. It is amazing, and I love you for it. And I love you for your David Bowie love. Next Hallooween plan: David Bowie circa Aladdin Sane.

  9. Sharon

    “Princess Padme Amadala Costume” my ass, I know a David Bowie costume when I see one.

    Commenting only to say that I’m speechless! Perfect post.

  10. Pingback: Sexy costumes suck. — A P O C A L Y P S T I C K

  11. Bonnie

    I used to be sad about all of the “sexy” Halloween costumes but now I am happy, for I’ve always wanted to be David Bowie for Halloween but did not know how! Thank you, thank you!

  12. Pingback: Sexy costumes suck. - APOCALYPSTICK — APOCALYPSTICK

Comments are closed.