Smell ya later!

Max Landis and Almie Rose Apocalypstick

Trustworthy, honorable, sober, etc.

A few days ago, Max Landis shared something gross and fascinating with me. Naturally. He brought to my attention something I wasn’t aware existed and would probably be okay with never knowing existed.

I am talking about Pheromone Parties.

What is that? You may ask. Yourself. Where does that highway go to? I’m sorry, I have an affliction where I occasionally segue way into Talking Heads lyrics. But that’s not important right now. A Pheromone Party is where you go to meet someone you want to date/fall in love with/bang with a twist: BYOS — bring your own shirt. But before you bring it, you have to sleep it in for three nights in a row and then take it off and leave it sealed in a plastic bag (the longer the better). I hope I never feel like that plastic bag. Then you bring it to the party. And when that bag opens, that’s when it all goes down. To quote their website:

  1. Bags are placed on a table. Guests smell the bags at their leisure throughout the party.
  2. If a guest finds the smell attractive, they take a picture with the bag at a photographer station. These pictures are projected as a slide show on the wall at the party.
  3. If you see a picture of a guest you find attractive holding your number, this is the greenlight to talk to them. Haaaay.
Minty fresh!
As gross as I find this concept I also find it interesting. First of all, I think the last thing anyone needs is to be rejected for smelling the worst out of all of the smelly t-shirts. Also I’m glad I’m not single because if I were I would have to go to this and try it and report back. I’ll still go but I’m not bringing a dank t-shirt. Also I would cheat by rolling my tee around in a nice pumpkin pie, because apparently that’s a scent that men love. I read it in a study. With the candlestick. And Mrs. Peacock. But I can’t deny that I like my boyfriend’s t-shirts. I like how they smell. And that’s the whole point of this. We’re all gross and we like how we smell. Because we’re basically jerks who walk around smelling for love. And then when we smell something we like, we bang it. Or marry it.
Here is my favorite tip:

“Some things for women to consider:

Strippers get more tips when ovulating. It is not proven whether this is because of pheromones or just actions, but worth considering for coordinating your odor print phase.”

This entire party sounds awesome. Can someone please go to this and report back? Are you adventurous enough to go? Wouldn’t this be the best “…and that’s how I met your mother” story ever?

But most of all, what do you think  — is this idea legit? Do you like how your dude or lady smells?

Get thee to Cinefamily on April 5th.


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17 thoughts on “Smell ya later!

  1. Amber Rose

    This is one of the strangest yet interesting things ever. What if you eat a ton of pie that way you sweat the smell onto the shirt? Or maybe I’m overthinking.

    ‘And that’s how I met your mother.’

    Go go go, and tell me how it was. Go. Seriously!

  2. allie

    that’s disgusting.

    yes, we all like the smell of our partner’s tshirts but only when you cuddle up to them. You dont carry your bf’s tshirt around and whip it out in public for a sniff. it’s like putting fries on your burger, we all love it but you dont ORDER a burger that way, you order the burger and fries seperately and then skulk off to a dark corner, shamefully pulling apart the burger and placing the fries inside.

    then again, america. As I’m sure a pre made burger with fries already on it exists. so do these parties.

    please find someone to go and report back… Max seems like he’d be up for it.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      “You dont carry your bf’s tshirt around and whip it out in public for a sniff.” I truly lolled.

      Max is totally going I think I am going as well and I think we are going to film it!

  3. Shandra

    The problem with this is that men find almost all women’s pheromones attractive all the time. Women will only find men’s pheromones attractive when they are ovulating and if he’s a good DNA match for healthy children. Women on hormonal contraceptives don’t ovulate, so they pretty much never think the natural smell of a guy is attractive. Sorry pheromone parties- I don’t think you’ll work! Chances are most women like the way their significant other’s shirts smell because of association or yummy cologne, not because of the natural smell alone.

    PS: There are a lot of documentaries about attraction and dating on Netflix instant watch. Everyone should check them out!

  4. Ginny

    I think people might just smell my gum in my bag but if that makes them pick me clearly they like gum as well so this could work out.

  5. Geoff Souder

    At first, I thought 2 things:

    1) Eww
    2) Holy crap am I glad I am married because things are getting weird.

    But the I remembered Lisa. I was as in love as a 15 year old kid could be with Lisa. She was my world until one day she realized that she wanted someone new. Someone different. I was broken. I found a shirt of hers she forgot at my house. It smelled like her. I kept it under my pillow for weeks. Eventually it didn’t smell like her any more, it smelled like me. So I gave it back. 2 weeks later she was back in my arms. I dumped her a short while later for the school mascot (also named Lisa).

    There might be something to this pheromone thing…

  6. Dr.R

    And another thing . . . You usually don’t love the smell of the shirt your love has worn until AFTER you know and love the person. I thought the whole pheromone thing was supposed to be UNconscious, and that’s how it adds to the romance and mystery of why you are obsessed with this person. Let’s face it, do you really want someone to fall in love with the way you smell during your period. OK, don’t answer that.
    This is one of those times that I’m glad I’m “old” and fell in love the old fashioned way.

  7. Jennifer


    seriously, my man is constantly apologetic for his end-of-day B.O. and I am constantly replying by sticking my nose in his hairy smelly armpit.

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