Tag Archives: flirting

The battle cry of the female blogger.

Feb

2013

This is not directed at any one person. This is something I feel I have to say on behalf of myself and possibly many other female bloggers out there.

It makes my freaking day when people email me or comment or come up to me in public and tell me that they like my blog or my videos or my writing for Hello Giggles. To know that there is someone else out there, across the vast and uncertain hollow space of Internet, to know that someone is reading, someone is taking the time out of their day to process words that I wrote or watch a video I made, means a lot to me.

As women bloggers though, we’re faced with certain issues that men aren’t; of this I’m sure. We’re judged harder on our content. Our photos, even just our profile photos on Facebook, are viewed at in terms of how hot we are, or aren’t. Please understand that I realize that not all men are like this. Not all men see women online as an amusing novelty. But the men who do are some of our biggest obstacles we have to deal with.

Just because we are women with a voice and an internet presence doesn’t mean that we are there for you to objectify, flirt with, or sexually harass. We’re writers. We’re creators. We’re reporters. We’re just trying to say something. We’re not posting something so that you can then comment with a suggestive remark. Our posts on dating, sex, relationhsips, or anything related, are not an invitation for you to hit on us or objectify us.

What is sexual harrassment online? I’m sure the definition is as broad and wide as can be. Perhaps my definition is stricter than most. To me, sexual harrassment is unwarrented comments that hint (or are outright blatant) about my appearance or sex life when they have nothing to do with the subject at hand. If I write, “Please judge this photo of me; tell me what you think of my face and my tits” then it would be silly of me to then turn around and say, “Why the hell did you just make a comment about my tits?” If I’m blogging about dating in LA and you comment, “Perhaps you haven’t found the right guy yet, hint hint winky face” that makes me uncomfortable. (And that was just an example I made up out of thin air.)

I respect my readers, which is why I’m posting this and not talking down to you. I welcome internet friends. I welcome people I can chat with and discuss events with. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have Twitter or Facebook. But I think that because my online presence is somewhat big and because I welcome interaction, this is misconstrued as an open invitation to flirt with me. It isn’t. So please treat me with respect. Don’t be rude. Don’t be condescending. It’s embarrassing for both of us. If you can’t do those things then go ahead and do them off of this blog, off of my Facebook page, and off of my Twitter feed.

Thanks for reading.

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Rules for hot people.

Nov

2012

I demand a new law for attractive people: if you are attractive, and you are alone, and someone comes up to you and starts talking to you, and it gets past the polite conversation stage, it is your obligation to stop and say, in a truly friendly manner, “I have a boyfriend/girlfriend.” I just think that this makes sense.

Yes, it is also annoying to speak to someone at a bar or party or zoo to have them say, 45 seconds into the conversation, “I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.” But it’s even worse to talk to them for 45 minutes without knowing. 45 minutes is an exagerration. 5 minutes. 5 minutes is insane. Think about how long 5 minutes is. That gives you enough time to listen to all of “Call Me Maybe” and then blow a monkey. If you’re into that. I don’t give a fuck. Just tell me that you and the monkey are involved before it gets anywhere.

You may think this is directed towards you, and in all honesty, you are the inspiration for this, but this post has been a long time coming. I would much rather know, straightaway, if you are not single, rather than find out later and have fears even worse than dying alone: going to a party alone, the kind of party where you’re encouraged to bring a date and YOU’D RATHER DIE, YOU SAD MISERABLE SACK OF NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING nice hair though.

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My flirting secrets.

Oct

2012

These are some of my precious flirting secrets that I actually use. If you were to see me at a party you would catch me doing these techniques and I would be, Hank-sitting-on-the-toilet-Walt-Whitman-mind-blown, busted. But I give them to you, so use them well and with intelligence.

These are tips on how to start a conversation with someone. Smiling, with breeziness, walk up to them (not when they’re in the middle of an intense conversation with someone) and ask them if they know “Tyler.” Everyone of a certain generation knows someone named Tyler. However, if the person in question looks older or says “No” then you say, “I’m sorry, I meant Ryan.” They will absolutely know a Ryan. Let them take the initiative. If they say, “Oh, Ryan Marsh? That guy’s a dick.” The you just nod and agree. Do not offer any last names or opinions about Tyler or Ryan until they do. Men or women can use these names, but if you’d rather approach a girl with a girl’s name, use Laura or Amy. This tactic is purely to initiate conversation, so you better have something prepared after “Do you know Tyler?”

To figure out if the person you’re talking to has a boyfriend (or girlfriend), casually slip into conversation (or lead with it), “I’m sorry, this is so random, but is your girlfriend named Anna?” (or whatever name you want.) If they say, “Yes” then you have your answer. If they say, “No, I don’t have a girlfriend” then you have their answer. If they say “No” but don’t offer a name, try a different name or say something like, “Really? She looks just like this girl I went to school with named Anna.” At this point they will confirm whether or not they have a girlfriend. If they don’t, laugh and say, “Oh my god I had you totally confused with someone else, clearly. Oops. Well hi, I’m Jayne” (or whatever your real name is) and then chat anyway.

You have to realize that these tips are dependent on you being able to talk to people. An initial moment of awkwardness is totally okay and acceptable, but after that, you’ve gotta be able to work it like you’re James Bond swimming out of the ocean to reveal a tuxedo underneath your scuba suit.

Don’t tell anyone I told you this.

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Who’s really reading this blog?

Oct

2012

I write about my dating life. Sometimes you may even wonder, “Is this about me?” And I’ve been starting to wonder, “Are any of these guys I’ve written about actually reading this?”

So, indulge me. If we’ve ever:

— Been in a relationship

— Dated

— Been on a date

— Had sex

— Had any sort of sexual contact

— Made out

— Kissed

— Flirted

I want you to comment and let me know that you’re reading this. You don’t have to use your name. You can be anonymous. I would prefer if you used some sort of nickname that hints to me who you are. But do whatever you want.

This is an experiment that could go really well, or really poorly. Go for it.

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