Mar

8

2011

Teaser for Apocalandis Part Two.

Here’s a little clip of what you’ll see in part 2 of Apocalypstick & Max Landis offer you advice.

We got a LOT of questions this time, so it’s going to take me longer to edit it. I may have to pull some Harry Potter shit and split it into two parts. I’ll try not to.

In the meantime, please enjoy this thoughtful and funny piece by Laurenne Sala. It has the wit and hilarity of a New Yorker cartoon. But with vaginae: Fruitcake

Feel free to use this post as a discussion of our videos, oral sex, vaginal odor, and vulva perfume. Please DO NOT use this post to talk about Charlie Sheen. This is a SHEEN-FREE ZONE. Yes, he’s so amusing and funny with his “tiger blood” and “winning” but he BEATS WOMEN and says HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT JEWS. Of all people who deserve attention, he is at the bottom of my list. So if you want to Sheenize, take that shit to Twitter, or better yet, NOWHERE.

Thank you! And yes, I did change my font, because Helvetica gives me such a heartboner.

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Posted in: dating, relationships, sex, video, wonky advice

{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

Emma Aubry March 8, 2011 at 6:21 pm

GAH I love your ring and your bangs and your sass and I just can’t wait. Betty White and I are gonna have a viewing party.

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Almie Rose March 8, 2011 at 6:26 pm

FOREVER 21!!

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Emma Aubry March 8, 2011 at 6:43 pm

WINNING!

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Almie Rose March 8, 2011 at 7:29 pm

HA.

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Gsouder March 8, 2011 at 7:04 pm

The code for Helvetica was written in Tigerblood.

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Almie Rose March 8, 2011 at 7:29 pm

YOU MIGHTY DUCK, YOU.

I refuse to use even Charlie Sheen references. Emilio and Martin all the way.

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Gsouder March 8, 2011 at 7:38 pm

At this point I think Emilio will be harder to find than Osama.

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Almie Rose March 8, 2011 at 9:54 pm

As I was fast forwarding through something I recorded, I caught a glimpse of Emilio & Martin at some sort of press conference. I never want my brother and dad to apologize for me on TV. That’s a whole new level of embarrassment.

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Mermy March 8, 2011 at 9:10 pm

THAT IS AN AMAZING SETTING, WHERE IS THAT!!

also, I have never commented here before, but I <3 your blog and just needed to ask that question. :D

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Almie Rose March 8, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Thank you Mermy!

It’s Max’s library at his parents’ house. Way better than my Union Jack flag taped to the wall.

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Olly March 9, 2011 at 5:43 am

firstly that lirbrary is amazing, secondly, i maybe want to marry max landis?

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Almie Rose March 9, 2011 at 10:43 am

You’ll find all about Max’s feelings on marriage in the upcoming video!

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Rahul March 9, 2011 at 1:23 pm

I was talking about the New Yorker last night. I wish Laurenne wrote for them because maybe I wuld understand one of the cartoons. I don’t get it. I also don’t understand the movie reviews. Do they like the movie? Hate it?

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Rahul March 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm

I wasn’t done! Now I’ve lost the moment. In conclusion. VAGINA.

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Apocalypstick March 9, 2011 at 1:31 pm

LOL. the trick is to read the last line of the review.

HEY NEW YORKER HIRE APOCALYPSTICK

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Almie Rose March 9, 2011 at 5:57 pm

This was me, I logged in wrong. HOW EMBARRASSING.

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Sss March 11, 2011 at 12:49 pm

I must ask, and forgive me for my bluntness, but are you and Max…

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Sss March 11, 2011 at 12:51 pm

I must ask, and forgive me for my bluntness, but are you and Max… Please clarify, so the single girl (or gay) population can know if it’s safe to make innuendos.

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Almie Rose March 11, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Related? No.

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Sss March 11, 2011 at 1:19 pm

incest is never funny

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Almie Rose March 11, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Have you seen “Dogtooth”?

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Sss March 11, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Nope. And after viewing the trailer I don’t think I’ll be seeing it. Poor cat.

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Almie Rose March 11, 2011 at 1:50 pm

IT’S ACTUALLY REALLY FUNNY! I AM A HUUUGE CAT LOVER, I WOULD NEVER FIND THIS FUNNY, BUT IN CONTEXT IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s not really good just kind of hanging out in the trailer.

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Sss March 11, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Well on that endorsement, I think I’ll round up some friends and drink wine while watching. You know, just to make it that much funnier.

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Max Landis March 15, 2011 at 1:59 am

No, we’re not. Innuendo your ass off. Or innuendo it right on over to me.

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Almie Rose March 15, 2011 at 2:16 am

To add, God no.

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Helen March 12, 2011 at 11:35 pm

hahah I can’t believe you answered my font question! I felt so stupid for asking lol

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Almie Rose March 13, 2011 at 4:57 pm

No, dude, I GET IT.

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