Who do these bitches have in common (aside from important people)???? ME!!
Is “Back to the Future” the most important film of the 80s? Of course not. IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT FILM OF ALL TIME.
My Lea Thompson Story:
It was another day at work in which I was probably trying to move things with my mind from behind the counter (because when it’s slow, what else are you going to do) when a woman in my glasses came up to make a purchase. They weren’t literally my glasses of course; mine were in my purse. But they were the same classic, I’m an artist goddamnit but I also love money Ray-Ban glasses. At the store we are required to ask for I.D. for any and all purchases. I asked this young looking woman for I.D. and when she slid it over I saw Lea Thomp– and then my brain went, “Oh shit, it’s Marty’s mom!!” and I blurted out, “Oh, I don’t need this, I know who you are” and gave it back to her.
She laughed and said, “I wish I knew who I was.”
“I didn’t recognize you with your glasses,” I said. “I have the same ones! I just got them.”
She seemed excited by this and asked me where I got mine. “Lens Crafters!”
“They had them there??” She exclaimed. “I probably paid way too much for mine! How much did you pay, if you don’t mind me asking?”
I didn’t mind, but my brain pretty much froze. I’m bad with remembering numbers, I’m better with words/phrases. So I sort of stood there, saying “uhhhhh” and mumbling numbers, gradually getting quieter and quieter, like the Tin Man rusting. It was probably very weird. She cheerfully said, “Never mind”, trying to save me from myself.
“Sometimes I worry I’m not cool enough to wear them,” I said. She laughed and said something like, “I know right? But If I am, you are. Believe me, you are.” Then she went off on her way and I had to fight every urge to yell, “THAT’S THE POWER OF LOOOOOOOVE!!” as she left.
My Michael J. Fox Story:
Full disclosure: aside from Captain Hook, Michael J. Fox was my first serious celebrity crush. I have “Back to the Future” to thank for this. Then in middle school, “Spin City” came out and my love for him was only intensified. I watched all of his crappy 80s movies. Even the weird one where he and Sean Penn are fighting in Vietnam and Sean Penn rapes a woman in the jungle and MJF is like, “Wait what” and my naive self was like, “Wait what?”. In college our school had The Actors Studio and all New School University students were allowed to go to the tapings. I went to the MJF taping and watched James Lipton try to be stoic and say things like, “I own a cave in Malta.” (Seriously.) After the taping I waited out back for MJF to come out so I could tell him how awesome he was and how we had a friend in common (the founder of my high school) and etc but I waited at the wrong entrance. My friend Sean, who I always referred to as “Moondog” because he seemed like a surfer but wasn’t, told me that he happened to run into MJF as he was leaving and shook his hand. I said, “How nice for you, Sean” and quietly seethed. Surf’s up, bitch.
A couple of years ago I had an assistant job for a really nice director. I did things for him and his wife, like go to Fred Segal. It was on one of these Fred Segal excursions that I saw him. Michael J. Fox, chilling out max and relaxing all cool. I couldn’t even look at him, he was so awesome. I slid inside the store, made the exchanges, and then got into the bathroom to collect myself. “If he’s there when I come back, I’ll say something” I told myself. When I got out, he was gone.
But he wasn’t! He was sitting outside! I had to do it. I came up to him, trying really hard to turn down the crazy that I give off naturally.
“Hi!” I said. “Actually, we have a friend in common.” I explained that I went to the same high school that was founded by his friends. “Will you tell them I said hi? My name is Almie!” He was very gracious. I don’t know why I asked him to tell them hi, I hadn’t spoken to them in years. We talked about what good people they were. Then to make things even more dorky I added, “In high school, I won an award named after [one of the founders] for being creative or something!” I said that because I am four-and-a-half and carry Play-Doh in my pocket. But he was very kind and at least feigned interest. “What’s your name again?” he asked, probably to make a note to tell them that a very disturbed individual who went to their school accosted him in the Fred Segal parking lot. I told him, I think he said my name was pretty, but unfortunately I can’t remember most of what he said because the whole time my brain was chanting, “MICHAEL J. FOX MICHAEL J. FOX MICHAEL J. FOX” like the “Charge!” chant at sports events.
“I just think you’re awesome” I blurted out, before running to my car. I think he smiled and thanked me. I got into my car, tried to keep it together, because I really didn’t want to hit another car in front of Michael J. Fox, and before I left I waved. He waved back. Then I got on my phone (hands free!) and called my mom. She picked up and I screamed, “IJUSTMETMICHAELJFOXAAAHFREDSEGALAAHAHH” and she thought I had gotten into a car accident.
Having grown up in LA I never get psyched over seeing celebrities, but “Back to the Future” celebs will always be exceptions (same goes for ‘Twin Peaks” celebs). Is there anyone you flipped out over meeting or really want to meet?
Ronnie Wood from the Rolling Stones ran into my bosoms in Oslo. I was walking into a store hypnotized by the amount of reindeer sweaters around me, and this little midget comes running out. My mom was standing next to me and she just screamed, in full earshot of him and everyone else, “WAS THAT KEITH RICHARDS?”
I also went to Japan to see one of my favorite bands, Hanoi Rocks, on their final tour and came face to face with the lead singer on a street. This time I had my boyfriend subtly tell him, “OH WE TOTALLY CAME FROM BOSTON TO SEE YOU. I MEAN WE’RE ON VACATION TOO, BUT JAPAN BECAUSE OF YOU.”
I don’t know if my loved ones make me seem more or less crazy.
“Ronnie Wood ran into my bosoms in Oslo.” — I think someone just found the first line for their autobiography!!!
Oh I hope so!
I mean, I don’t like to brag or anything, but Gwen Stefani totally touched my hand once. Or maybe it was the air near my hand. The details are kind of hazy. It was a religious experience though, I know that much, because I immediately went home and wrote about it on Livejournal.
LOL. We all know if you didn’t write about it on Livejournal, it didn’t really happen.
…I thought I was alone on the Captain Hook thing.
The celeb I want to meet is probably Michael J Fox! I’ve never really properly “met” anyone properly famous, just got autographs and gone ‘mumblemumbleI’mabigfanmumblemumble’. I do occasionally get flashbacks to the time I “met” Wes Anderson and talked complete fucking gibberish. Though someone that day attacked Bill Murray while dressed as a fox so there’s always someone being weirder than you…
I love this so much. I squealed when I got my Entertainment Weekly in the mail. Did you ever watch Caroline in the City? I used to love that show so hard.
I’ve never met anyone cool, unless you count Nancy Kerrigan, but even that was totally embarrassing because I was holding flowers at the time. I should have just given her the flowers, but I’d bought them to throw onto the ice for Tonya Harding. Yeah. Good job, Ashley. But at least I have the excuse that I was literally six years old at the time.
I talked to Carly Simon on the phone once. That’s all I got.
I sold glasses to the guy who does a bunch of the voices for Seasame Street.
I live in Kansas, what more can I get?
This post is so hilarious I can’t breathe
also THAT LIPSTICK what is it!? i love it i want it i need it it looks so good on you i cant
Thank you! It’s the Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in “Dragon Girl.”
top 3:
3. Chuck Klosterman
2. James Iha
1. Shots with Sandra Bullock at a show/bar.
Actually, Lipton said the cave was in Greece. And if I recall correctly, he lived in it but didn’t own it (he must have been young and noncommittal).
“That’s a fascinating Family Ties story Michael, for I too lived in a cave in Greece! Did you all hear that? Has the conversation come back to me again? Oh good, I’m so glad i have my own show.”
lolz for days, seriously
I think you can hear me snort on the tape I was laughing so hard.
LOLLLLLL OMG WHAT IF YOU ACTUALLY COULD
also:
“We have similar hands.” — James Lipton to Elton John.
“…” — Elton John to James Lipton
After the tenth ‘impromptu’ “Elton, would you grace us with a rendition of [famous Elton John Song]”
Elton John: “Nope.”
i am IN LOVE with jenny lewis. and i can hear you making a silverlake reference right now but im sorry…i do. i have since i listened to rilo kikey in high school and through all her other bands and such. well the other day jenny and johnny played in silverlike (IM SORRY!!) and i was standing at the stage waiting for them to go on…when outta the corner of my eye, i see this tiny little red head briskly walking towards backstage. we made eye contact and i smiled at her and then she smiled back and waved…AT ME!! SHE WAVED AT ME!! not the other way around…and no one else around even saw her cause there was still some other band playing on another stage or whatever. but yeah…she waved at me…i calmly waved back like we were old friends and once she dipped back behind the stage…i was like aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!! and did a crazy little dance. i dont want her to know im a huge fan…then we could never be friends. duh. yeah so thats my story. you asked!!
ps: what lipstick are you wearing?! so cute.
I have no Silverlake references up my sleeve because I totally understand what it’s like to fall hard for your favorite musician. Every time I see Bowie play (which hasn’t been nearly enough) I burst into tears.
And thank you! It’s the Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in “Dragon Girl.”
Oh also Paul McCartney winked at me during one of his shows. Jazzy Gazzy will totally back me up on this.
oooh!! paul mccartney?! thats a story for the grand babies!
i once saw danny elfman at the roxy and i said “OH MY GOD ITS DANNY ELFMAN!” without even thinking about it…wouldnt that be your natural reaction? he looked around and saw me gawking at him and did the creepiest little wave that was just so amazingly perfect. uuuuh…that trumps all my celeb experiences. i was addicted to the oingo bingo vhs my mom had when i was like 5. probably one of the best nights of my life…no joke.
He winked and pointed at both of us. I like to think it was at me.
I’m reading these comments — have I told you my John Hamm story?
TWIN PEAKS: when i moved to LA, i was determined to meet– the Giant, Agent Cooper, and David Lynch, in that order. It actually happened!! Met the Giant at a Bergamont Station gallery, he was amazing and indulged my questions about Twin Peaks and told me funny anecdotes. Then at an event I was covering for some skin cream, there was Agent Cooper, who was there because of his role on Desperate Housewives. He also indulged me for like half an hour and told me all about the suits at the network who inexplicably supported the show. I was so excited i thought i was going to cry. THEN i met Lynch through his foundation and had dinner at his home and he is one of the most gracious people I’ve ever met. If nothing else happens in my life, this happened.
You had dinner at David Lynch’s house?? I’m going to need more details!!
stalker answer: You.
less stalker answer: it’d be a tie meeting John Hamm OR Emma Stone. The closest thing to a celebrity i’ve ever met was these guys who do a podcast i really like and i froze up and creep-d them out. Eventually i asked for a picture and they were super tired and very clearly were doing it out of pity. Very nice but VERY awkward.
besides that i just stared at Lou Ferrigno one time while my parents failed to boost my courage enough to take a picture with him (for the record i’ve only seen him in I Love You, Man).
I like that I would be first.
I’m sorry, but how the fuck is that a tie? Jon Hamm, hands down. Christ, you have no idea.
I’ve given Patrick Stewart a fan letter at the stage door, & I went to Dr. Sketchy’s in New York at the beginning of the summer specifically to see Zoetica Ebb. She was sitting there when I walked in & all I could think was OHMYGODZOE SHEISSOPRETTY PRETTYPRETTYPRETTY. I couldn’t really think of anything to say, so I just kind of gawked at her for a little while, & then she went backstage and later it was time to drink and draw her with pretty much no clothes on, so I guess the night went pretty well.
Pamela Anderson walked right into me when I was 12 or 13. Unfortunately, she only hit me with her shoulder, so I can’t say “TOUCHED PAMELA ANDERSON’S BOOBS” during games of “I never”.
For a while I “collected” celebrities like baseball cards, by which I mean used the shaky-handed “ohmygodcanIpleasetakeapicturewithyouokaythanksbye” approach when I saw them and then ran away. Thankfully, I’ve chilled out since then. (One of the biggest douchebag moments of my life: interrupting Weird Al when he was talking to his wife so I could get a picture. But he was a champ about it. Super nice guy.)
Recently, I’ve been lucky enough to talk to one of my favorite actors, Alan Tudyk, twice. He somehow remembered me the second time, even though it’d been five or six months. It was very exciting.
A couple of weeks ago, I asked Steve Agee how to pronounce his last name. After he told me, I had his attention and I realized I had no idea what to say to him, so I just kind of awkwardly blurted, “…Uhh, your Twitter is really funny? It was nice meeting you.” and then I walked away and cringed and cringed.
None of my stories are very exciting, haha.
I forgot to mention that I was once checked out by John Krasinski. That will be the title of my autobiography.
WEIRD AL HAS A WIFE????
Fabrizio Moretti kissed me. No joke.
Did he smell? I feel like he would smell.