Why OKCupid is terrible.

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Disclaimer because this post will probably upset people: to the guys I’ve been out with on OKC lately, who are probably not even reading this, this doesn’t refer to you, so calm the fuck down, even though you pretend you don’t care, but you totally do, because all anyone wants is to be flattered, especially on the Internet. This post is about OKC and my experience with it in general, not the exceptions.

I am tired of doing this. I am tired of dating. Tired of OKCupid dating, mostly. I can’t. This is getting ridiculous. Guys, hot tip: if you don’t look like Chris Pine, do not use the photo that someone took of you on that one day where the lighting was just right and you looked, for once in your life, like Chris Pine for two seconds. Especially do not use it as your main profile photo. You have to let us know right away if you’re ugly. (And maybe you’re not actually ugly, maybe you’re just picking terrible photos that you think are flattering.) And here’s the thing, before you yell at me: I have very specific, crazy standards. Most of the guys I consider ugly are men that most people consider attractive. So don’t get angry with me, like I just sent you an email saying, “Hi, ______, I was just looking you up online and you are ugly.” No. And I’ve been called ugly. And I get it. I look like Mick Jagger. I get this. I have a weird face. Some people consider my weird face weird enough to somehow work and be beautiful. Other people see my face and think that nothing works and it’s a mess and that it’s ugly. And that’s fine. I don’t give a fuck.

Everyone tells me to change my standards. No. How about you stop being ugly? Why the fuck should I change my standards? If you don’t like my standards, then don’t date me. Find someone else who sees you and wants you for you who are. I like men who look like this. Or this. And this. I do not like men who look like this. Or this. And those last two men are men that lots of women think are insanely attractive. See? I’m not asking for Ryan Reynolds-Gosling. That isn’t my type. Do you get what I’m saying here?

Be thin. Yeah, sucks to conform to the same standards we’ve had to deal with for years, doesn’t it? Go fuck yourself. Be thin. Be creative. Be smart. Be able to play an instrument, even if it’s just barely. Be able to have an awesome conversation with me. Be kind. Be generous. And I don’t mean just with money. I mean with your time. With your patience.

Almost every time I meet a man who fits these standards, they either 1. live in New York, 2. Leave me for an ex, or 3. Both. I’ve tried long distance. If you’re worth it, I’ll do it. I visit New York a lot now that my dad lives there. But you give up on me. And I go back to OKCupid and try again. And I don’t find anyone I like, and if I do like them, they of course do not like me.

Or maybe, I hate you. Maybe you hate me. But if you’re hot, and we have heated arguments, and then hatefuck each other, I’m okay with that. Because at least there’s passion in hate.

If you want help with your OKCupid profile, I can help you. Because I really just want you to find someone who loves you as you are. I don’t want you to be an asshole like I am. I want you to be happy. I want to help you be happy. I won’t judge you. I will find the most attractive and awesome thing about you and amplify it times a thousand. And why? Because I am sick of these stupid, inane, misleading, diabolical online dating profiles. So help me help you.

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70 thoughts on “Why OKCupid is terrible.

  1. Pam

    Epic post…I re-activated my OKCupid profile recently, as to just have another avenue out there to meet men. There hasn’t been one yet I’m interested enough to meet up with. The majority of them “choose” my profile (but don’t send me a message) or they just say “hi” and nothing else. I know that most of them are not reading my profile; just looking at the pictures. I need more than just “hi.” It’s only been 2-3 weeks and I’m already tired of it. Blah.

    1. Foo Bar

      Whereas you, by contrast, consistently reach out to men for the first time
      with long articulate emails?

      1. Matt

        OH SNAP! So true lol Yea, every single time I went and typed a nice thoughtful little paragraph with an engaging question or 2 involving things that were in their profile I didn’t even get a response, or a totally uninterested one. I am not a bad looking guy, either. I actually kinda resemble that Lennon photo she put up. So yea, I just quit and went for simple introductions. Pretty sure women are to blame for that one.

  2. Cherie

    Preach on.

    My problem with online dating so far has been the large influx of “good ol’ country boys” in my area. I’m guessing it’s because I live in a city in a southern state that’s surrounded with a lot of rural counties, but come on now. I’m glad you like to go “huntin” and listen to Alan Jackson, but those are not even close to the ways I like to spend my time.

    People tell me to stop being so picky also, but isn’t that the point? Why date someone who you’re either a) not that attracted to or b) who you don’t share a lot of common interests with. This is my dating life (recently “lack of dating life” I guess), and damn it I want to be picky!

    1. Kelly L

      Ugh, I had this problem too! I just chalked it up to being in the Midwest.

      And by all means: BE PICKY. If there is ever a time to be picky, it is for something like this.

  3. ???

    My OKC profile is a lively experiment in disruption and provocation. And so fucking weird, I call it a work of art. The intent is to see if someone would actually respond to what they’ve been shown, or would they just walk away.

  4. d

    being thin hasn’t really been a a necessity for me at all, but, to each their own. I have some nightmares stories from OKC – legitimate stalkers, and some other craziness. The crazy stories I have as a result of online dating seem to only come out of online dating. It’s not for everyone, and I don’t know anyone, personally, who has had success with it. In Austin, it tends to be a place to just get laid quick and easy.

    And you are beautiful, whether you care to hear that or not.

    Hit me up when you find yourself suddenly attracted to Zach Galifianakis. 😉

    d

  5. Shirl

    You sound like a horrid, silly, entitled girl. I’m sure you are quite disappointing to many of the men you meet also….partly because of your face but mostly because of your snide, bitchy personality. Good luck on being loved…I doubt you even know how to to it.

  6. Rob

    As a straight guy who earnestly gave Internet dating a shot for roughly a year, I can report back that it was a clusterf***. The web platform allows people to be vague, deceptive, flaky, and sometimes oddly aggressive. Women I’ve dated (or have shown interest in dating me) have appeared via tried-and-true avenues: parties, friends of friends, schoolmates.

    I credit Almie with putting herself out there and reporting back and yeah – if I find myself 37, single, and in the fetal position cradling a bottle of whiskey, I’ll consider giving it another shot. But in the meantime, I’m good.

    It’s scary out there.

  7. Sarah

    Wait that second picture is daniel craig, where did gosling come from??

    And honestly what’s the point of not being picky? Why should one settle for anything when the possibility to find exactly what you’re looking for is out there. Maybe that’s too idealistic, but oh well…

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      I just really hate Daniel Craig, and I think Ryan Gosling is so boring that he didn’t even deserve a photo on here, but here you go: http://bit.ly/ScLfVV

      He always looks to me like a douchbag farmer. In a suit, in this case.

  8. Lauren

    Being picky is important when it comes to OKC. I pretty much have nearly the same taste in men as you do but those type of guys never messaged me on Okc…I don’t think I’m twee enough for them.
    There was a guy named “honeybeardds” who I messaged once and he looked like he listened to neutral milk hotel and read books all day in his little scarf and john lennon hat. I got all giddy and messaged him and of course…crickets.
    I also went on a date with a guy who loved the beatles so much he went by the name
    “jude” and had the voice of an angel (complete with the paul mcCartney head bobhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsONrnX-VyM ). He lived out of his van and played tiny instruments. So..of course on our date he told me he was in the process of already seeing someone.
    in a nutshell I hate okcupid.

    1. Anonymous

      Ok, I’ve been a member of OKC for over 6months now. I wont say I’m very attractive but yes most of the women who have visited and viewed my profile, msgd me have been either 8s or 9s Last time I went out with this insanely gorgeous blonde who also modelled and we met at OKC. She claimed she received too many msgs, and her inbox had around 900msgs. I dont know what she saw in me but I was glad she saw something in me which really attracted her among the 500+ men who had crammed her inbox.I even went out with this girl who was pretty overweight but she was so nice,sweet and kind that I was literally falling for her. So my point is, ladies, dont be so picky. You’ll never be satisfied and never know who the right person is.And plz be a little less shallow. Block the sleazebags but at least give the nice guys a chance. I dont beleive that you are utterly repulsed by the appearance of most men on okC. So plz give them a chance.And always remember, the more attractive or hot the guy is, the less devoted he will be to u and always look for quick sex and keep his score ticking.

  9. Ombretta D.

    Almie, a friendly observation: most of the men that nowadays desperately want to look like Jervis Cocker or Paul McCartney or David Bowie…well, they’re the most inconsistent and selfish human beings around (even more conceited and self absorbed than the Ryan Goslings-alike-mannequins). I know, they look so sensitive under that little skin they have, yet they’re evil womanizers. Now, I’m not saying that’s a universal truth, but it’s really pretty common. I’m sure you’ve experience it yourself.

  10. Almie Rose Post author

    By the way, I really appreciate all of you joining in this discussion. Most of you have been insightful and have not stooped to name calling or insults. And I think that’s really how one makes the strongest argument. “Boom, bitches.” — Abraham Lincoln.

    1. Some guy.

      Almie seems funny and hot…..but can she cook, clean, manage her money, enjoy regular sex, and be okay with MANY nights in while the kids are in bed? I find so many people are easy to date at first when they have more freedom and less responsibility. When you add kids, house management, and other tasks to the mix, you need someone who is strong, patient, and dedicated. Almie, I will imagine you can do all these things. :)

  11. Melissa Marie

    All online sites turn users into extra-picky and superficial boyfriend/girlfriend shoppers. I’ve shopped on and off for a decade and have met some wonderful people… many of whom I never cared to meet again, but a few I still hang out with on a semi-regular basis. It’s hard to specify what you’re looking for without hurting the people who don’t fit the bill, but I think if you truly know what you are and aren’t attracted to (and attraction is HUGE), you should put it out there.

  12. Ginny

    Telling people to “lower their standards” is complete crap. I think a lot of people need to up their standards. Are you suppose to settle? I also don’t understand people who lie on their profile. Oh pictures from 5 years ago when you were thin? You think I’m not going to notice you gained a ton of weight when I meet you?

    OKC is rough but also good for a laugh. I like to make a drinking game out of it. Whenever someone’s profile has u instead of you. Drink.

  13. Kelly L

    All right. Let me tell you stories. I tried Match.com and gave up because, well, I was PAYING for the experience of All Of The Awfulness. No thank you. I ended up on OKC by accident because I made an account on an affiliate site and BOOM suddenly I had an account and went, hey, what the hell.

    For the most part, I was pleasantly surprised. I expected EXACTLY what you got, but I had a big ol’ “assholes need not apply” bit in my profile and apparently people actually read it. I’m guessing it’s because I was kind of fat and so the guys looking at my profile were actually interested in my personality. (I kid, I kid.) (Sorta.) Minus the one illiterate meathead who, upon rejection, called me a “big girl” (ie: fat) (PS, if you like, I can send you this conversation sometime, it’s ridiculous, I emailed it to some people so I still have it), but for the most part, it was friendly guys who I would not have minded being friends with, even if I wasn’t particularly attracted/interested. Last year I met a guy and we dated for a bit but it fell apart BUT we actually still talk on occasion – one of the few people I’ve dated and been able to be friends with. This past February I met the guy I am still currently dating who was in the exact same position I was in — the middle of bumfuck nowhere Midwest and surrounded by people who were already married or taken. Or still in college. So it’s not completely awful.

    THAT said… all of the reasons online dating sucks, are all of the reasons online dating sucks FOR A REASON. The douche guys who try to solicit hookups even though in real life they’d never (hopefully) walk up to you in a bar and be all “hey let’s fuck”. MANNERS. It’s the same anonymity that lets people troll websites and leave asshole comments because there is no repercussion.

    Also, people lie and mislead and it’s easy to pretend to be something you’re not. Which isn’t going to fly so much when you actually meet someone and they realize you were a BIG FAT LIAR. I mean, sure, I picked out the most flattering pictures of myself that I could, but they were at least recent, and I thought they were reasonably accurate.

    Also, also, also, I can’t remember if it was this post or the one you linked to and I’m too lazy to scroll up, the thing about apologizing for rejecting someone even though you have every right ? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, I mean, I know exactly what you mean, I felt SO guilt-ridden every time I had to be all “thanks but no thanks”… I mean, the hell. Why did I feel bad? Why did I care about hurting their feelings? I didn’t know them, and that’s kind of the way the game is played. You can’t date everyone (well, you could, I suppose, but that seems tricky). Someone has to get turned down. AND YET it was such a big ordeal. I don’t even know.

    And, yeah. Why should you lower your standards? Why not be picky? Why should you have to settle because someone else said so? That’s the dumbest thing ever. I hope you hold out for your skinny British boyfriend. If I had an spare skinny British guy lying about I would totally send him to you stat.

    I want to echo so many of the things everyone has already said, but they’ve been said, so it would be redundant. Dating is awful. If I get dumped I’m just going to buy another cat and be alone forever and be damn happy about it because: no. No, no, no. Trying to find someone is AWFUL. Maybe there were something to be said for our grandparents generation, when they all married the first person they could find because there was a chance that everyone could die in the war and everything seemed more urgent. My grandma knew my grandpa for like, a week, before she agreed to DUMP HER CURRENT FIANCE AND MARRY HIM. Then they were married for fifty years and had seven kids. So. Y’know. Modern life is hard. Or something.

    I had a point once, but I lost it.

    Aaaand if you’ll excuse me, my cat is horking up a hairball. Gotta go.

  14. Shandra

    Who are all of these guys that live in New York? I’m taken, but I have single friends who have a ridiculous time meeting someone decent. Maybe there needs to be a “Match Swapping” website where you can tell people about great guys that don’t live in your area and they can share their guys who don’t live near them, but live near you. If that ever becomes a component of OKC or its own website, I’m stating now I want a 50% cut.

  15. Mila

    There’s actually a funny story. Well, I am bisexual and I reallywould like to date with girls too but it’s hard to find nice person. People says that lesbians doesn’t care about themselves,they don’t shave, are fat or thing like that haha… but as I am watching profiles – I can see it’s totally nosense. All of the girls I met are active, attractive and I… I just really like girls who aren’t really perfect. I want to spend time with my girlfriend by watching tv series in our pyjamas while eating a lot of bad for health food. And there’s no person I could dothat with. There’s a lot of girls that people find out attractive, but I just want some lazy, but very funny girl. I met one girl like that, but well, she’s almost 10 years older than me :(

  16. Nick

    I randomly stumbled across your blog and I thought I’d comment. I’ve done a lot of OKC dating here in LA and if there’s one thing I’ve noticed it’s that eeeveryone has a type and nobody should be pissed if the other person doesn’t find you attractive. I’m a thin musician type and some girls are just NOT into that, they’re looking for the ripped movie star type and that’s fine! I don’t take it personally if you never want to speak to me again after one date. I totally agree with you on that, you can’t be expected to change your standards or likes!

    I do know what Kelly up there means, it suuuucks rejecting people even online. I hate hurting feelings, but there’s certainly no need to apologize! I do think it’s good to be tactful about the whole thing though. I’ve always been extremely nice to anybody I dated who I had to break it off with. There’s nooo reason to be mean or brutally honest after a date or two. I think some girls take internet dating as license to leave crushed and mangled men in their wake because why not, there are hundreds more lining up to take this poor dude’s place.

    1. Matt

      the standard tactic seems to just completely ignore people out of the blue in the middle of a convo. Another reason I quit with online dating. I’d much rather know than wonder why. People are way too passive these days and it’s a big problem.

  17. Morgan

    Oh hey, I wrote a Tumblr post recently about why I deleted my OkCupid profile. Honestly being on that website was just SO AWFUL. It’s true that my city (a medium-sized city in the upper midwest) seems to have exceptionally slim pickings, but I’ve just had so many bad experiences through that site that I have to believe it’s Bad News Bears, even for someone like me who has a serious history of romantic misadventures.
    http://talktostrangers.tumblr.com/post/32946543816/these-are-my-personality-traits-compared-to-the
    Seriously.

  18. Shae

    This is hilarious. I have done Match.com and have had very similar experiences. The thing is they NEVER look like their picture. Also, I have come to realize that most of the guys on their are there for one of two reasons. 1) They want sex 2) They desperately need to find a girlfriend because they cant stand being alone. Although this is 100 % a double standard I dont want to be a quick fuck and I also dont want a clingon. I need a nice normal boy who understands that I am clingy as hell and afraid to be alone. Is that asking to much?

  19. Simone

    “Everyone tells me to change my standards. No. How about you stop being ugly?”

    This sentence made me laugh so hard I almost spit up my coffee.

    I’m going to be trying online dating for this first time this month and I’ve already devised my motto:

    “Keep your head, heels and standards high”

    (and maybe hair too.)

  20. Carlos Esteban

    After reading your blog and all these comments, I remember why I gave up on online dating. I tried it a few times, but I gave up after realizing what most of the women on these sites are like. They get a ton of msgs, they get real snooty, and in the end as a guy all your doing is wasting your time. Your sending tons of msgs w/ the expectations that maybe these girls will respond to your msg among the deluge of responses they get.
    It takes way too much effort. Why should a decent guy put himself through all that.
    Maybe if I were just looking for sex.

    1. Matt

      Yea it really makes no sense at all. Especially when said decent guy can talk to women in real life and win them over without all the judgemental bullshit. Much easier that way than navigating a potential minefield of online text messages just to get some girls number. All the girls on those sites feel entitled these days and settle for nothing less than a model (and often they are below my standards LOL a 4 only settling for 9’s and 10’s… gtfo lol) , meanwhile true love is often passing them by. That’s what fucked up the entire online dating game. Now guys don’t give a fuck anymore on those sites and I can’t blame them one bit.

  21. Brian

    I find a woman’s perspective on OKC to be interesting. There’s a lot of griping about the lack of good guys. I know I’m not the first “good guy” jumping up and down waving his arms seeking attention on the OKC website. I have a master’s degree and a steady job at a major university. I’m intelligent and my profile has excellent grammar and no spelling mistakes. I do volunteer work at a local animal shelter and one of my pics is of me with a shelter dog. I’m not looking for one night stands or a notch in my belt. I’m not super attractive but I’m not ugly; not perfectly fit but reasonably so. I don’t send out messages to women with “Wassup?”or “Wanna fuck?” I write real messages that show that I have actually read the woman’s profile and have looked for similarities. But I can’t get a response to save my life. Not even a “Thanks but no thanks.”

    This is probably a often-heard gripe but I just don’t get it. Are the women just biding their time until that GQ model sends them a message? Would they rather be used and kicked to the curb by some handome jerk?

    Carlos might have the right idea… Why put myself through this sort of thing?

    1. Jim

      Completely with you on that one Brian I am in a similar boat to you in regards to few responses and education and work wise. I think the problem with women today is that they have become so shallow and materialistic that they are only concerned with looks and how that person will enhance their image and don’t give a shit what the persons actually like until much later. Then it’s the same old bullshit from women again “oh all men are bastards” “why aren’t there any good men out there ?” Where everyone is screaming “they were right in front of you and you went for the wrong type”. Unfortunately women will never change and as stated by the op they won’t reconsider their perspective so they are basically fucked….

      There are a few good women out there but it seems not on okcupid

    2. Heather

      I’m a woman on OKCupid, and I have yet to receive one well written or thoughtful message from a man. Two of my favorite crappy pickup lines so far are “do you live alone hun?” and “do you like anal?”

      I’m in my early 40s, but I get inundated with messages from 21 year old kids that want to pursue their cougar fantasies. I’m no prude, but I think we should introduce ourselves before you start rattling off the things you want to do with my body. I am wondering if anybody goes on an actual date, or if the site is purely a means for quick hookups.

      I have messaged a few appealing men, generally complimenting them on their witty and well written profiles. I have never received a single response. So men are not alone in that frustration, as everybody on that site seems screwed up.

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  23. elite user

    okcupid is made by retards, the imbalance of men and women makes it such a time waste.
    also fake profiles of real cute women who switch the city every few weeks.

    crazy blind date = post internet times w/o social media
    boosting profile for 2$ = one of the lamest things ever.
    blocked profile = fake message about technical difficulties of the site + cookie block + ip block.

    try to find alternative dating sites or just save your time and go clubbing or into bars. and if your too ugly for that you wont find anyone at okcupid anyways.

  24. anon

    debasing yourself in your worship of superficiality isnt why okcupid is terrible or anything close. 98% of the “women” profiles on that site fall into the category of completly fake profile especialy the ones with the words uploaded with my iphone tagged.

    Your comments are so toxic and typical of attitude for a female you wonder why you have to use a datesite to get a date.
    I generaly use comments like yours to feed out the fake females profiles from the real ones as anyone of a toxicity ratio personaly disfunction of 88% or more has a high probability of being a real female on okstupid.
    its usualy neuroticaly rude, obnoxiously bitchy, hates sex, bisexual but hates threesomes and men writing her=real female.
    loves sex in any function = fake female profile.

    stop acting like you even return the drove of men who write you as 98% of women who date online do not.

    online dating can be summed up to the stupidity of horney dicks and fucked up frigid chicks.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      I thought about responding to this with a Kanye West gif but I don’t have the time for the HTML. I’m just going to say, your attitude is bad and this is why you’re single. You seem like you’re a good writer, so focus on your writing, try to develop that into a personality, and you may have a shot. Omit the insults.

  25. ThisGuyCan'tBelieveIt

    Hi Almie! and other bitter and not so bitter critters:

    I found myself on your blog because I was so sick of OKC tonight that I typed in something like “so sick of the women on OKCupid!” Ha! The joke’s on me!

    By the way, I hold the record. I’ve been on OKC for 6 years! No, I’m not homely. I took my profile down when I was in relationships, but I reactivated it when I got out. (Got out? Sounds like I’m describing prison!)

    I cracked up reading your “ugly” talk, though I do wonder, like a lot of the men on here, why women don’t just delete the A-holes’ messages and find the good guys. Anyway, I wish people didn’t write hateful stuff at you. It is your blog, after all.

    But I was thinking, everyone on here seems so young! I would say to you all what I said to my 20-something hairdresser: “Why are you even CONSIDERING online dating?!” Go OUT! Come on, you actually have energy! Go to parties and meet other unmarried 20-somethings…fool around (using protection, of course)…shack up…screw up…break up…get married, whatever. That’s what I did in my twenties–except for the married part. Or, if you’re going to stay home tonight and find D-bags on the Net who, to varying degrees, resemble the guys from A Flock of Seagulls or movie stars with just the right amount of scruff, then send ME to the party! I look young–ger than I am. Tell your friends you’re sending this “great guy you know!” We won’t tell ’em I’m pushing fifty!

    I heard a male comedian say he had such a man-crush on Gosling that he would have sex with him, so I find it funny that you hate his looks. I’ve always just thought it’s funny that his name sounds like a bird–a small, cute bird that follows its mommy.

  26. Morpheus

    All the attractive women are FAKE its a game. I paid $$ for 6 month for BS. I get a reply on Facebook lolll but not on OKC. You can tell on facebook tho who is fake or not. I get message and likes from women that should thought twice before taking that picture.

  27. Alley G.

    “Everyone tells me to change my standards. No. How about you stop being ugly?”

    Hahaha… I love your mentality. Don’t change for anybody girl! Our high standards will serve us well one day… or we’ll be old maids regretting it all. Just kidding, we’ll find our own personal princes. SETTLING IS FOR SQUARES. YOLO~

  28. ken

    This is the most asinine thing I have ever encountered. First, I have been on ok cupid for a couple of years. I have never been so fucking tired of reading the same ole profile just with different names and faces. Cant anyone be original anymore? If you are so fucking perfect, easy going, good looking, hung like a horse, with tons of friends and are out on the town every night of the week with your extended group of friends, then what the hell are you doing on these type websites? Get the hell off and let people who are seriously trying to met someone the hell alone. All these fake ass folks are really depressing. Then to top it all off this shitty ass website has starting telling me its have technical difficulties. I mean really? If you going to throw someone’s ass off of a site at least have the balls to say,” get the fuck out!” Why would a website just arbitrarily throw people off their sites? You feel me?

  29. ethan

    lol is this what passes for writing now days? the website is awful. ok cupid i mean is awful. but you are one crazy bitch. no wonder you get left for other women.

  30. Diana

    Such a sad post. It’s not funny that someone gets to a stage in his life when the only excuse is having tight lists, that is not even that tight. Weird how hard is to find normal in a normal world.

  31. Whotookthebomp

    Linoleum floor, linoleum floor, this blog is fucking stupid like a linoleum floor. I’ll click on it, see and bunch of poo, click on out, go away and be glad I forgot you.

    WHO WHO
    WHO WRITES THIS CRAP LIKE ENTITLED BRAT, YA WHO WRITES TAKES CRAP LIKE A DIAPER WEARING CAT, YOU YOU!

  32. Jere

    What’s up to every one, the contents present at this site are truly remarkable for people knowledge, well,
    keep up the nice work fellows.

  33. MGTOW

    You’re an extremely abrasive person and no quality man would want to date you. Online dating is a joke for the delusional women who believe they’re entitled to Mr. Perfect and the men who think they have a chance with these women. They have an impossible laundry list of requirements a mile long that no man in the real world could ever live up to.

    Men shouldn’t use certain photos that put them in a flattering light? Hahaha… Yeah, tell that to all the women who purposely angle their cameras to make themselves look thinner. Double standard much?

    What makes you think you’re entitled to the guy you want? You speak of all these crazy standards you have for a man to receive the privilege of being with you, but what do you bring to the table? What do you have to offer aside from your vagina?

    Men should stop being ugly? How about you stop being a pseudo-intellectual, self entitled, sullen bitch? (I’m not into name-calling to belittle people I’m just reporting on observation)

    Why should you change your standards? Because there’s a difference between having standards, requirements and demands. If you choose to remain close minded and controlling you’re going to end up alone, while all the quality men pass you by. Better to have a list of core values and non-negotiables than a laundry list of superficiality.

    The thin, be creative, be smart, be able play an instrument… Are you all of those things?

    Be able to have an awesome conversation with me? Hahaha… You don’t even know the definition of the word awesome. Besides, you don’t want a man who is smart and is capable of intelligent conversation because he would be able to outsmart you, call you on your CRAP, (Can’t Really Apply Positively) and challenge you. You don’t want that!

    Be kind? Just like all of the kindness you demonstrate?

    Be generous and not just with money? You’re not entitled to a man’s wallet because you have a vagina. In fact, you’re not entitled to anything, so go out and make your own money and pay your own way. BTW dating is a form of legalized prostitution that is more like gambling because there is no guarantee of sex, only the potential. I have too much respect for women to treat them like whores because I believe in equality.

    A man is supposed to give you his time and patience? Why would men want to expend their time on you? What man would have the patience to put up with your Bullshit? You have no idea what constitutes a quality relationship because you’ve never been in one. So, you focus on superficial nonsense and then try to claim credibility by throwing in a few nice personality traits.

    There’s passion in hate? Yes, if you enjoy being a sociopath.

    You don’t give a fuck that people think you’re ugly? You’re young now, but good luck when you hit the wall and no men are paying attention to you because your youth has faded and they’re fucking your 20-year-old daughter. A man’s social worth goes up as he ages… A woman’s doesn’t.

    MGTOW!

    PS: I’m sure you feel the need to respond to this because I’m not kissing your ass. You’ll probably attempt to invalidate me with some passive aggressive insult, but anyone with just average intelligence will see through your game. You’ll stand on your self-righteous pedestal and then cry foul when someone exposes your façade.

    1. ThisGuyCan'tBelieveIt

      Wow, dude, you are bit-ter! Terrible way to go through life. Focus on something life affirming, positive, and humorous. Spreading hate on the Internet doesn’t help anyone.

      But I did notice something about Almie’s original post regarding the words “stop being ugly.” Other women can giggle about that line, but it shouldn’t be taken too seriously. She’s really saying, “Stop being someone I’m not attracted to.” Well, you can’t stop looking like you any more than she can stop looking like her. If you don’t resemble the guys in the pictures she cites, oh well. (And thank god!) She goes on to say, “Find someone else who sees you and wants you for you who are.” This is good advice, but it doesn’t mean you are ugly.

      Just as beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, so is ugliness.

  34. DJ

    All I can tell you is that online dating is both an epic failure and a paradox. It seems like it should be a convenient, easy way to meet people. It isn’t at all. I have over 5 years experience on many different dating sites and I’ve gleaned a lot of knowledge from the “hard time” I’ve done online. Firstly, the most important thing for men and women are really the pictures. For most men, unless you have nearly professional grade looking high resolution pictures of you smiling, and full body photos of you doing fun things or out socially you can expect to almost never get a response. Even when you have amazing photos you can still expect to not get many responses in general, but better than the almost zero percent response rate when you had camera phone selfies and webcam snaps. People are really superficial and quick to judge based on photos alone. Secondly, your profile should be pure positive and not contain any sort of bitterness, self loathing or resentment towards men or women. Your profile also should never contain sarcasm, because sarcasm online is always misinterpreted. You should never copy and paste. Women see through it immediately, no matter how clever you think you are. And finally, if you’re a guy who is average to a mediocre 7 in the looks department you shouldn’t expect to ever get more than a couple dates in a month and to get laid more than a couple times a year even if your profile and messages are perfect. Online dating is a supplement to an already active dating life. That’s all it ever was. You should be spending the majority of your time meeting people IRL. As I said, the majority of women and men online are pretty superficial and are looking to meet the highest quality partner they can possibly get all while putting the least amount of effort in.

    1. PJ

      Right on point DJ.

      I spent a better half of a year on OkStupid and I really felt stupid by the time I left. I’ll put it in even simpler terms. If you aren’t dating someone you met IRL already, drop OkStupid like a rock and start hitting up parks and bars. You’ll thank me for it later. I promise.

      Online dating is like the Frankenstein monster. We knew it was dead before it ever stumbled into our lives yet we acknowledged it as alive. We pet it and loved it and coddled it giving it time and energy. Sorry ladies and gents. Online dating was never a thing. Not for the majority of people who genuinely needed it. For us it was a stillborn dream. A fantasy.

      tl;dr: If you live an extremely antisocial life and work long hours week in and week out, OkStupid is not going to fix your problems. It won’t even come close. It will make your problems worse simply by wasting your precious time and energy screwing around with those useless profiles.

  35. Edward Banana

    Passion in hate? Your post was certainly full of hate and something else… (hint: not passion, open your nostrils).

    It’s too bad women use men as stepping stones… the self entitlement complexes just keep getting worse and worse. I hope you find yourself a soul, bitch.

  36. Allison

    I am so sick of OKCupid. I deleted my account today. I’ve been on a number of dates with men and it just hasn’t worked out. I’ve done it for years too, trying to find ” the one”. Eventually, I reached a point where I feel I am truly wasting my time. I’m still single, and it’s time to accept it. No, ….scratch that, it’s time to embrace it. I’d rather be happy than searching. I’d rather accept my situation than to fight it. I’m sick of meeting up with men who are ultimately strangers. I’m sick of relying on a stupid dating website as a source of happiness, when it’s really a constant source of disappointment.

  37. George

    So you dont want guys that look like Ryan Reynolds, just another attractive man with less muscles xD

  38. Jazmine Mayberry

    Completely agree, Okc is driving me flippin insane. None of the guys are attractive to me and the ones I meet don’t look like they do in their pictures. Haven’t met a guy I would actually date yet and it’s been several months.

  39. bob

    Oh look, a girl with an awful attitude bitching about people with bad attitudes. Entitlement city. OKC brings out the worst of men and women alike: the men can act like pigs, and the women think that they deserve way, way better on there than they themselves are actually rated. This was the result of an OKTrends article, go check those out if you don’t believe me.

  40. Al

    To the writer of the article and the woman who wrote the comment two ones up from me I may not be the best looking but I am decent looking and have been on ok cupid for a year. I have done a decent profile and picture. I LOOK LIKE I DO IN MY PIC. The problem is girls get fooled by the stupid guys and don’t message people like me even though I have messaged them . I have done at least 8 messages, women are too shy and in some cases because of some male prats some women’s mail boxes are full.

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