I don’t know if it’s a girl thing or what but I’ve been noticing that a lot of my female friends have a hard time letting it go. They lament over their mistakes, their roads not taken, their misfortunes.
CUT IT THE FUCK OUT.
It’s not a good thing to feel like Patrick Bateman. I think it’s a defense mechanism, a way of trying to hide all of my anxious feelings. It’s still better than when I would revert to pretending I was Agent Dale Cooper, taking into a deck of cards like it was a tape recorder. Ha ha I’m just kidding, I would never do that…
If you were to lie in bed and think of all the faux-paus you’ve made in your life you would go crazy. If you were to list all of your missed opportunities and awkward moments and times where you just wanted to slap yourself, Chris Farley style, shouting “STUPID STUPID!” then you’re not going to get to sleep any time soon and you’re going to wake up feeling like a zombie.
Try this: when you start to think of all the ways in which you wish your life were different, think of the ways that you make it good. Think of something you did in the past that was awesome, even if it was just making a funny joke or getting a birthday gift for a friend that she really appreciated. Start small! Then think of the bigger things. There is no mistake you made that is too great to keep you from another opportunity. Unless you are:
— O.J.
— That woman who just ate her baby
— Tim Burton
I LOVE YOU, ALMIE!!