Patrick Bateman of American Psycho is the ultimate workout champion. He prides himself on his physique. I get it, man. I am on a fitness kick and I am determined. The 30 Day Shred, a workout video by Jillian Michaels, is what I’ve been doing. It’s comprised of 3 levels; each level is for 10 days. Within those levels are 3 circuits,(warmup and cool-down not included). These circuits combine strength moves, cardio, and abs. You do 3 of those and then you’re done. The levels get progressively harder, as do the circuits.
I put on yoga pants or sweats, but not my favorite pair of sweats because I’m at a point in my life where I just consider those pants, and I put those on with a sporty crop top spandex thing and my Nufoot shoes (thanks, Nufoot!) and I get to work. Here’s what I’m thinking and feeling, before, after, and during my workout, presented to you in Patrick Bateman/American Psycho GIF form.
This is my process. This is my life. There is no comfort, there is only fear, and intensity that can only be matched by the darkest parts inside my myself. I am but a body, a concept, a tool, and I do not understand anything beyond simple actions. People do not understand that I don’t do anything for them, I do it for myself, I do it only for myself, other people do not matter, I care about no one, and most of the time, I am moments away from snapping someone’s neck and taking out their eyes with my brand new battery-powered Sharper Image letter opener. Yesterday on The Patty Winter’s Show, a woman ate her own face. I can feel everything inside me and this means that I cannot feeling anything at all, ever, and I have stopped trying. Do you like Lana Del Rey? I thought that her first album, Born To Die, was a visceral experience, her voice tinged with a deep longing and regret for a chance to do it all over again. I highly recommend it. I have to return some videotapes.
If you’d like to read my review of the film American Psycho as Patrick Bateman, click here.