My Sim Life.

Meet my Sim boyfriend.

His name is Clifford (I didn’t name him). I think he’s totally dreamy in a Jean-Paul Belmondo sort of way. He was unemployed when I met him and now he has a job as a “fan”. Uh, OK. I moved into his house after our marriage because it was bigger than mine.

Let me explain. I think admitting to playing The Sims is kind of like admitting that you masturbate about six times a day. (I’ve said the same thing about American Idol, and I watch it, too.) But lately given that in “real life” I’m kind of unsure what the hell I’m doing, I choose Sim Life. It’s just so much easier.

Meet my Sim Self. Actually when I designed this sim, I didn’t do it with me in mind, but I realized that it kind of subconsciously turned into a virtual me. We look very similar. But she’s athletic, I’m not. Her favorite music is indie, her favorite food is Dim Sum, and her favorite color is black. That’s not too bad. “I” have a job as a con artist, and for some reason, this is my work uniform:
Yeah, a mesh crop top with torn jeans, that makes sense. But look at those abs! Look how thin I am in Sim form!

My relationship with Clifford is so easy. We always have fun, we never fight, and he always wants to make out.
Here we are busting a move. My Sim self, like my real self, loves to dance.
Just look at that face. Look at how lovingly he gazes into my eyes. The outfit is diabolical but my Sim boyfriend has no problem wearing whatever I want him to wear, so that’s not important right now.
Clifford is SUCH a skilled dancer and look how thin I am!
And here I am dancing with my best friend, Darlene Bunch. She old.
I asked Clifford to marry me. His response? Exxxxcccellent.

So our wedding day arrived. My dead ghost mother showed up:
And some guy passed out. You can see him behind the horrendous-print chair.

Here we are reciting our vows:
Because I’m a sim I had no problem getting married in a black top and tweed pants.
Easiest wedding ever.
The kiss. Um, I hope I don’t kiss like that in real life. My mouth is gaping.
After the wedding we immediately moved into Clifford’s house. Look at how cute my husband is!
Look at how goddamn swell our lives are.

Oh Clifford, do you exist as a real person? Do you wear burgundy blazers with white ties? Will you find me?

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2 thoughts on “My Sim Life.

  1. Marco Sparks

    I’d hate to quote The Office (please forgive me), but, “My first life was so great that I decided I needed a second one.”

    Who is the old guy who is also sporting the burgundy blazer and white tie? Is that, by fashion default, Clifford’s dad? If so, this is a family of big red dogs. No, not really. Also, is it wrong that I am now going to start mining The Sims for awesome fashion advice? What will they think of me when I go into, I don’t know, the local Belk’s or Kohl’s or whatever and inquire about their burgundy blazers?

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