“Your life is so glamourous!” People tell me. Yes, it is. On Instagram. On Instagram my life looks as fun as Disneyland inside of another Disneyland. But I don’t think my life is awesome. It kind of sucks sometimes. I think all of our lives suck sometimes. But if all of our lives suck then why is it that we think other peoples’ lives are great? We all complain and we all wish we had better lives. We say, “Crispin Jones has such an awesome life, why can’t I be Crispin? Crispin hangs out with Quentin Taratino and gets invited to all the Nylon parties and works as a full time blogger and owns a cologne business, Crispin has it going on and I feel bad.” There’s a Crispin in all of our lives. This one is made up, but I bet someone out there knows someone with the exact descriptions that I just gave this fake Crispin.
Everyone’s lives look better than ours but our lives look fantastic to other people. It’s true. If there is someone out there who thinks their life is awesome and amazing and cannot be topped, please tell me. Not so I can try and argue with you or prove you wrong but because I want to praise you and learn your secrets. It doesn’t matter what your job is in life or who you know; there are people out there who lead average lives but love them. That’s what it’s about. Not about looking glamorous. But about feeling glamorous, for real, even if all you do is work a 9-5 job and the thing you look forward to most in life is the Thursday night line-up on NBC. I can think of hundreds of people who would envy that life.
I blame the bloggers. The bloggers look so freaking cool on their little Internets. People think I’m cool but guys, I’m not, and I never claimed to be. If you look at the header of this blog you see that I think I’m awkward and I am. I met my celebrity crush and told him his head was too big. That’s fucking awkward and totally uncool. And I look at other bloggers who are part time models and full time awesome and I have to suffocate my jealousy “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” style. And honestly, I know that my life isn’t terrible and there are wonderful moments and I’m lucky for what I have. But I’m also great at being a selfish and superficial jerk who complains that her apartment is too big for her wireless router’s signal.
Why does your life suck? Tell me, maybe we can have a contest about whose life sucks more.