Titles Are Apparently Important.

WORKING TITLES FOR MY BOOK


Apocalypstick

Apocalypstick: True Tales of True Mistakes

Apocalypstick: Stories of My Misspent Youth

Apocalypstick: By Bret Easton Ellis

Apocalypstick: I Don’t Even Know

I Don’t Even Know

I Will Get Drunk and Hit On Your Boyfriend

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing: Please Buy This Book

And It Was The Most I’d Ever Pooped: The Almie Rose Story

Did You Get My Text: The Almie Rose Story

Apocalypstick: Nonfiction from Someone Non Famous

I Can’t Tell Because I Left My Glasses In The Car: Is That Guy Cute?

I Was Drinking When I Wrote This

I Hate Pants: The Almie Rose Story

I Thought Of A Really Good Title This One Time On Gchat But I Can’t Remember What It Was and I Don’t Feel Like Looking Back In All of My Archived Gchats

I’m Just Sitting Here, Awkwardly

Ugh: Look At This Bitch’s Facebook Status

I’m Better With High Fiving: The Almie Rose Story

Apocalypstick: How Not To Date In Los Angeles

I Think I Saw You On The Cobrasnake

Apocalypstick: Boom!

Boom!

Exclamation Points: A Love Story

What Are You Guys Doing Later?

Pretend To Wave

I Just Remembered That I Have Spicy Ramen: This Night Got Better

I’m Going To Go Eat The Ramen

Typing In Italics Makes Me Feel Like I’m Whispering

I Miss My Boyfriend: A True Story

I Am Bette Midler: Not A True Story

Suggestions?

Half Asleep — School Of Seven Bells

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34 thoughts on “Titles Are Apparently Important.

  1. Eryca

    hmmm, titles?
    I’m a big fan of

    I Will Get Drunk and Hit On Your Boyfriend
    Did You Get My Text: The Almie Rose Story
    What Are You Guys Doing Later?: The Almie Rose Story (okay I know I just added that bit)
    I’m Just Sitting Here, Awkwardly: The Almie Rose Story

    I just think adding “The Almie Rose Story” to anything would make a great title

    Your Biggest Fan,
    Eryca

  2. Jamie

    Did You Get My Text: The Almie Rose Story

    THAT ONE YES LOVE IT YES YES YES.

    Also. I want to hate you for this book deal you have, but I just like you too much. Fucking a.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      I wanna hate you for how many comments you get on your blog. And for how many twitter followers you have. And for how smart you are. And…wait I should stop.

      xoxoxoxoxoxo

      1. Jamie

        Ew. Why do all your replies have that blue line next to it? That should be pink or red or black.

        WHO IS YOUR WEB DESIGNER?

        TOTAL HACK.

        1. Almie Rose Post author

          I have reason to believe that my web designer is actually a stale loaf of bread with a pair of googly eyes attached. But I can’t prove it.

          1. Jamie

            Whoever your web designer is she/he/googlyeyes changed it so your comments look better. Finally. I really hope you didn’t PAY for this design…

            Also, you have a book deal, you’re pretty, you’re funny AND you have a boyfriend? Bitch.

  3. Syar

    Can you combine these, somehow?:

    I’m Just Sitting Here, Awkwardly
    Ugh: Look At This Bitch’s Facebook Status

    Because the double barrelled LOLs I got from reading them in that order was just great.

    What Are You Guys Doing Later? is also a good one

  4. allie

    I’m also partial to:
    I’m Just Sitting Here, Awkwardly: The Almie Rose Story

    or I really did like the “Sitting Awkwardly On the Couch” title from the boyfriend stories…. which, you know, is essentially the same thing.

  5. Pingback: Tweets that mention Titles Are Apparently Important. — A P O C A L Y P S T I C K -- Topsy.com

  6. Lisa G

    I Crowd-Sourced This Title on My Blog
    ?
    Is the book about dating in Los Angeles? I like the witty titles but feel the explanatory subtitle has its merits, marketing-wise. Good luck Almie Rose! Look forward to reading (purchasing) the book!

  7. CaptainLaurie

    Apocalypstick: Lost Notebooks Full of My First Name Followed By Your Boyfriend’s Last Name, With Hearts

    Apocalypstick: How I Learned to Let Go of Fear and Love Fisting Your Mom

    This Could Get Ugly Faster Than Kelly Osbourne on a Hot Day

    Sorry, someone needs to take the Internet away from me when I’ve been drinking.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      “Sorry, someone needs to take the Internet away from me when I’ve been drinking.”

      THERE’S A TITLE RIGHT THERE

  8. Erika

    This is seriously hilarious! I love so many that i want to steal them for my titles of my book that will probably never be published

  9. deromanticize

    I’m definitely partial to I’m Just Sitting Here, Awkwardly with the subtitle Almie Rose’s Guide on How Not To Date In Los Angeles. But is the book wholly about dating? Or your life in general, too? Either way, I’m going to buy it.

    Another idea is to just title at Apockalyptick and have the whole cover be strewn with your possible titles.

  10. Liana

    I’m Just Sitting Here, Awkwardly

    There’s just something about that one that stands out!

  11. Allan

    Almie, lol and LOL have become net-punctuation, but you, you really do make me laugh out loud. The next time I’m in LA, I’d like to shower you with gifts and walk in front of you throwing scented flower pedals on the ground to cushion your walk. Actually, I’d like to photograph that so maybe your boyfriend can be in servitude? Wait. In order for you to have a boyfriend, don’t they have to live in some other state or country? No problem, I have a remote for the camera. :)

  12. Bluestocking

    I’m a lot more excited about this book than I probably should be since I’m just some random person who stumbled upon your blog and have become obsessed with it.

    All the titles are too good. You should just take the top 10 and combine them cleverly with punctuation. It could work…

  13. daniel

    i think you should call it “Titles are Apparently Important.”
    Most of these sound like good chapter titles, to be honest, but none of them ring out as a book title other than my aforementioned suggestion.

    Just my $0.02.

    d

  14. linnie

    Apocalypstick: Nonfiction from Someone Non Famous
    Did you get my text?: The Almie Rose Story
    annnnd
    What are you guys doing later?

  15. kate

    Nothing beats: Apocalypstick: By Bret Easton Ellis
    it will be a big seller….

    Love your blog Almie Rose
    From Toronto

  16. Dayna

    These are amazing. My personal favs: “I Don’t Even Know” and “I Was Drinking When I Wrote This”

    Also, random question:
    Did you design your blog layout or did someone else do it? I can’t do this web design thing for shit.

  17. Some ho

    receiving a copy of your book might just be the best present I ever get! so hurry up and write it.

    I like the ‘poop’ title.

  18. Kali

    suggestion:

    NO THIS IS NOT ON CAPS LOCK I AM PUSHING SHIFT THE WHOLE TIME

    glad you appreciate the capitals as much as i do!

  19. Brittany

    I would agree that the best title is:

    Sitting awkwardly on the couch: the Almie Rose story.

    Runner-ups: Did You Get My Text and I Will Get Drunk and Hit On Your Boyfriend. It must include either “the Almie Rose story” or “Apocalypstick” in the title, for sure.

    Will it be done by 2011? It will be at the top of my Xmas list. If all 500 of your readers buy one copy, then you will be a gazillionaire and hopefully give me a shout out on Good Morning America.

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