Category Archives: I Forgot To Be Famous book

10 Reasons To Buy My Book Now

almie rose book cover i forgot to be famous

So I wrote an eBook, published by Thought Catalog titled, I Forgot To Be Famous. And I thought I’d provide some reasons as to why you should buy my book now. Hear me (read me?) out.

1. It’s cheap.

If you hate it, it will be the cheapest mistake you’ve made in your life. It’s only $5.99 on Amazon, Kobo, and iBooks$5.49 on Barnes and Noble, and only $4.61 on Google Play. That’s cheaper than a martini.

2. It’s short.

I’ve vomited longer than it takes to read this book. You can read it while lounging by the pool, or while you’re sitting in a waiting room. It’s an estimated 53 pages. You can totally knock this off and then brag to people that you read an entire book in an hour. You’re welcome.

3. It’s got good reviews.

It’s got 4.5 stars out of 5 on Amazon, and I swear, not one of those reviews is me pretending to be someone else. You can tell because none of the reviews say “What a rollicking good yarn! — Marge Simpson.” It was also an Item of the Day on HelloGiggles, and a Frisky book recommendation.

4. You’ll feel better about yourself.

The book is a series of essays, most of which are about how I embarrass myself (like the time I got hammered and went up to the actor I had a crush on and told him he had a big head) or get heartbroken (like the time my ex left me for his now A-list actress ex who wound up not taking him back). You’ll read this and think, “Wow! At least I didn’t do THAT.” And somewhere in the world I’ll nod and stroke my chin thoughtfully.

5. It can be your good deed of the day/week/month/year.

Yes, I’m saying if you want good karma, buy my book. Support a struggling writer. Make her mom happy. Be young and free.

6. I can stop acting like this:

Nobody wants this.

7. You don’t have to put on pants to buy it.

You can download this puppy right here, right now, and not even have to put on pants. It will download instantly. Think of all that time you saved not having to put on pants and all that joy you gained not having to interact with real people.

8. You don’t need Kindle to read it.

You can read it on any tablet device or even on your phone or computer with this handy free Kindle app download. I promise. Up until recently, I didn’t even have a Kindle. Now I do and I use it mostly to play Words With Friends. And by “play Words With Friends” I mean “getting beaten, badly, by everyone, at Words With Friends.”

9. It’s a great way to waste time at work.

Don’t you just love wasting time at work? Why not waste it in a more creative, original way, by swapping Reddit or Buzzfeed for my book? If your boss catches you, just tell them, “I’m doing research for our next project.” That line will work for anything.

10. You can find out what When Harry Met Sally… would look like in 2013, or what Mad Men would look like in the 1990’s.

The book contains the essays “When Harry Met Sally… In 2013″ and “Mad Men in the 1990’s”. I tried to capture the tone of the movie and the show, respectively, and I think I did a good job. Plus, you have Don Draper talking about The Mighty Ducks. How could you lose?

Convinced? Click here.

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My New Book “I Forgot To Be Famous” Is Out!

almie rose book cover i forgot to be famous

SUPER EXCITING NEWS! I wrote a book! An e-book! It’s called I Forgot To Be Famous. It’s available for sale now on Amazon! It’s also available as an iBook on the Mac Apple digital book store Internet shop whatever it’s called. Here are some frequently asked questions about that book that may help you!

WHAT IS THE BOOK CALLED?
I Forgot To Be Famous.

WHERE CAN I GET IT?
Amazon and iTunes.

WHAT IF I DON’T HAVE KINDLE?
No problem, I don’t either! You can download a Kindle reader for free and read it on your computer (Mac or Windows). Amazon has a wide variety of free Kindle apps. With these you’ll be able to also read it on your iPhone, iPod Touch, Android, Windows Phone, and Blackberry. You will also be able to read it on your iPad, Android Tablet, and Windows 8.

IS IT AVAILABLE IN MY COUNTRY?
It is available in (almost) every country that Amazon/other retailers have access to. So this means the book is available for download in:

— Austria
Canada
France
Germany
Italy
Spain
The United Kingdom
The United States

IS THIS BOOK ABOUT ME? AM I MENTIONED?
If you have to ask, then no, it probably isn’t about you. If you are mentioned, it’s by first name only…unless I felt the need to protect your name, in which case, I gave you a fake name.

OH, CRAP.
Naw, you don’t need to be worried. It’s nothing insulting.

WHAT IS THE BOOK ABOUT?
Copy/pasted from Amazon: What do you do when your ex leaves you for his A-list actress ex girlfriend? How do you land a musician boyfriend? What’s it like to make a total jackass of yourself when you meet that actor you’ve had a crush on for years? What would When Harry Met Sally… look like in 2013? Am I hungry? These questions and more are answered and explored by Almie Rose in I FORGOT TO BE FAMOUS, essays and how-to’s about dating, relationships, living in Los Angeles, and how they all crash into each other, like the car chase scene in the mall in the Blues Brothers movie, which she hasn’t seen, but is not at all opposed to.

WHO IS THE A-LIST ACTRESS?
I can’t tell you that.

WHY NOT?
I don’t want to. And I don’t want to get sued.

OKAY WELL THEN WHO IS THE ACTOR YOU MET YOU HAD A BIG CRUSH ON?
I can’t tell you that either. I think I left enough clues though where you would be able to guess.

HOW MUCH IS THE BOOK?
It’s $2.99 in the USA and around that price everywhere else. 

SO I CAN PRE-ORDER IT NOW BUT WHAT DAY DOES IT COME OUT?
Monday, July 1.

HOW LONG IS THE BOOK?
It’s slightly over 50 pages. It’s really short. I’ve vomited longer than it takes to read the book.

…WHAT?
Sangria. Never again.

WHAT IF I LIKE IT OR DON’T LIKE IT AND WANT TO LET YOU KNOW?
You can email me here, follow me on Twitter, or add me on Facebook.

WHAT IF I DON’T HAVE KINDLE?
You already asked that, but it’s okay. You can download a free Kindle reader to read the book on your computer, phone, or tablet. The book is also available on iTunes.

WHERE CAN I READ MORE OF YOUR WRITING?
Here on this blog. Also Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and many other places that you can find on my website, Almierose.com. And I post videos at YouTube.com/TheApocalypstick.

I’M YOUR PARENT/RELATIVE/FRIEND OF YOUR PARENT. SHOULD I READ THIS BOOK?
I would really, really prefer if you didn’t.

WHAT IF YOU DIDN’T ANSWER MY QUESTION HERE?
Comment on this post!

WHY AM I SHOUTING?
I DON’T KNOW! BUT YOU ARE! YOU’RE SHOUTING, YOU’RE SHOUTING, YOU’RE SHOUT— (gets hit on the hand with a candlestick.)

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