SUPER EXCITING NEWS! I wrote a book! An e-book! It’s called I Forgot To Be Famous. It’s available for sale now on Amazon! It’s also available as an iBook on the Mac Apple digital book store Internet shop whatever it’s called. Here are some frequently asked questions about that book that may help you!
WHAT IS THE BOOK CALLED?
I Forgot To Be Famous.
WHAT IF I DON’T HAVE KINDLE?
No problem, I don’t either! You can download a Kindle reader for free and read it on your computer (Mac or Windows). Amazon has a wide variety of free Kindle apps. With these you’ll be able to also read it on your iPhone, iPod Touch, Android, Windows Phone, and Blackberry. You will also be able to read it on your iPad, Android Tablet, and Windows 8.
IS IT AVAILABLE IN MY COUNTRY?
It is available in (almost) every country that Amazon/other retailers have access to. So this means the book is available for download in:
IS THIS BOOK ABOUT ME? AM I MENTIONED?
If you have to ask, then no, it probably isn’t about you. If you are mentioned, it’s by first name only…unless I felt the need to protect your name, in which case, I gave you a fake name.
Naw, you don’t need to be worried. It’s nothing insulting.
WHAT IS THE BOOK ABOUT?
Copy/pasted from Amazon: What do you do when your ex leaves you for his A-list actress ex girlfriend? How do you land a musician boyfriend? What’s it like to make a total jackass of yourself when you meet that actor you’ve had a crush on for years? What would When Harry Met Sally… look like in 2013? Am I hungry? These questions and more are answered and explored by Almie Rose in I FORGOT TO BE FAMOUS, essays and how-to’s about dating, relationships, living in Los Angeles, and how they all crash into each other, like the car chase scene in the mall in the Blues Brothers movie, which she hasn’t seen, but is not at all opposed to.
WHO IS THE A-LIST ACTRESS?
I can’t tell you that.
I don’t want to. And I don’t want to get sued.
OKAY WELL THEN WHO IS THE ACTOR YOU MET YOU HAD A BIG CRUSH ON?
I can’t tell you that either. I think I left enough clues though where you would be able to guess.
HOW MUCH IS THE BOOK?
It’s $2.99 in the USA and around that price everywhere else.
SO I CAN PRE-ORDER IT NOW BUT WHAT DAY DOES IT COME OUT?
Monday, July 1.
HOW LONG IS THE BOOK?
It’s slightly over 50 pages. It’s really short. I’ve vomited longer than it takes to read the book.
Sangria. Never again.
WHERE CAN I READ MORE OF YOUR WRITING?
Here on this blog. Also Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and many other places that you can find on my website, Almierose.com. And I post videos at YouTube.com/TheApocalypstick.
I’M YOUR PARENT/RELATIVE/FRIEND OF YOUR PARENT. SHOULD I READ THIS BOOK?
I would really, really prefer if you didn’t.
WHAT IF YOU DIDN’T ANSWER MY QUESTION HERE?
Comment on this post!
WHY AM I SHOUTING?
I DON’T KNOW! BUT YOU ARE! YOU’RE SHOUTING, YOU’RE SHOUTING, YOU’RE SHOUT— (gets hit on the hand with a candlestick.)