Gaston and Fashion.


Gaston
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston/
Looking so down in the dumps.
Every guy here like’d to be ya, Gaston/
even when taking your lumps.
There’s no man in town as admired as you
You’re everyone’s favorite guy.
Everyone’s awed and inspired by you/
and it’s not very hard to see why.”
Today I met with an agent who told me she thought I was really talented and seemed to really like me, but given what the economy is at the moment, she feels she cannot take a risk on newcomers. Were this three years ago, she might be able to sign me. Which is great to know because now I’ll just ask my BFF Marty McFly if I can borrow his time machine.

What do I do when I get down? I eat McDonalds. Then I feel like I’m going to die. Then maybe it’s the combination of the sugary, salty, fatty food and the feeling that my life is about to end but something cheers me up and I start to look to my ultimate lifecoach/style icon/general awesome dude for guidance, and his name’s G-A-S…T…G-A-S-T-E….G-A-S-T-O…Ohhh…Gaston!

Gaston and I are really similar. We both have swell clefts in our chins. We both get melodramatic (“Dismissed, rejected, publicity humiliated — why it’s more than I can bear!”). No one can go stomping around wearing boots the way we do. We both use antlers in all of our decorating. OK, fine, I am aware that giraffes do not have antlers, but that paper mache giraffe head is the only animal head I own. It’s close enough.

I may not be the size of a barge or have biceps to spare but if pressed, I guess I could come up with a list of things about me that are great.

I have nice strong hair. I have the ability to somehow guess the correct year in which any film was made. Cats really like me. I usually (this photo aside) photograph pretty well. I can sometimes make people laugh so hard they spit out their drink. Few people have eyelashes as long as mine. I’m especially good at procrastinating.

If anything, listening to “Gaston” when I’m sad reminds me of being a little kid again. “Beauty and the Beast” is one of those movies that can make you feel OK if you just let it. Not like that bullshit “Love, Actually.”

To get that Gaston look of your own:
Dress/tunic: American Apparel.
Tights are from Bloomingdales but you can also use leggings. Gaston is a big fan of leggings.
Boots: Aldo.
The belt was 50 cents at a garage sale.
Note: I don’t actually recommend wearing this in public but I think the idea of it is nice.


gaston1
Gaston — Beauty and the Beast film soundtrack

Bonus! My Top 10 Hottest Disney Guys

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0 thoughts on “Gaston and Fashion.

  1. Suzie

    Bang on. My usual B'ndaB go-to style icon WAS Mrs. Potts, but now you've shown me a whole new world (oops, wrong movie). Actually, you've nailed why I like to wear my boots like that.

    Reading American Psycho can't help in making you feel any better though. Patrick Bateman would never eat a cheerfully robust four dozen eggs, but he might nibble a coddled egg reduction with ginger coulee at Dorsia, or Belle's face off.

  2. RetroTrasher

    The Little Mermaid is my go-to Disney movie – in fact, it's the only one I own, on DVD and VHS (because I have the original VHS with the penis hidden on the cover, natch!)

    I guess what I'm trying to say is, I wish I wasn't at work so I could watch the movie.
    so hey, there's an upside to not working 9-5, you get to watch disney!

  3. apocalypstick

    Aw, thanks guys. You are the bestest internets.

    Suzie that description is DEAD ON.

    I think I look as big as a house in this photo but for Gaston I will do anything.

    xxoo

  4. closet365

    What are you talking about? That is a smokin' getup. Although I really wish you'd gone for it with the gloves.

  5. Jess

    Love both the Gaston like look and the paper mache giraffe. Where, praytell, did you pick that little baby up at?

    Best wishes with the biz. 🙂

  6. Anonymous

    Holy Guacamole,

    I didn't know anyone else in this world loved the Gaston song as well…

    Whenever I hear the word bear/bare/beer this is what goes through my head…
    Gaston: No one says "no" to Gaston! Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.
    LeFou: More beer?

    Your blog is awesome

    Kat (didn't want to be completely anon – thought it would seem rude)