It’s Not TV.

You may have noticed that I haven’t posted about myself in a while. I’ve mentioned that a lot has happened in my life recently. I’m not going to get into all of it, but I’ll tell you this. I am going to move out with another single gal and we’re going to live together in a cute little house here in LA!

The other single gal is my mom.

Yes. I never, ever saw this coming. My mom and I are two single roomies. My friends say it sounds like a network sitcom but I think it’s more like a Showtime dramedy. Who would play me? You know that teen from Californiation, the one Duchovny effed? “Mia”? My mom thinks we look alike. She could play me. Shannen Doherty is too old now to play me now. I’d like Kat Dennings but she just got a show. So did the girl who played Janis Ian in Mean Girls and the indie girl in Cloverfield. When I was younger and blonder, right around when Lost In Translation came out, people told me I looked a lot like “that girl from that Bill Murray movie.” But then I guess I got uglier. Or maybe she just changed a lot. No one looks like me. I look like no one. This is a good thing but I don’t want to play myself in this show. I don’t even want to play it in real life. However I will take any offers and/or suggestions.

Suzanne Somers would be a great person to play my mom except she’s a little too old. Lauren Graham would be good, as we already have that Gilmore Girls vibe going, but that seems overdone with her now. I kind of want Lisa Kudrow, she would be good. She doesn’t look like my mom though. Ali MacGraw does, but my mom thinks that’s an insult (I have no idea WHY, MacGraw is stunning but O OK mom), and now MacGraw is too old anyway. If we’re going to do the sitcom route, it could be Jessica Simpson. That would be hilariawesome. But OK, sticking with the Showtime pitch that I do not have, I should suggest someone more like…Angie Harmon. But blonde.

I already wrote a pilot based on my blog but I’m wondering if I should go in a different direction. This mother/daughter thing might be worth looking into. There’s Gilmore Girls and Golden Girls, but are there any other good mother/daughter shows? And wtf, what is with adding “girls” to everything? Spice Girls. None of those women were girls. Backstreet Boys, Beach Boys, New Kids On The Block — your problem was not thinking of your future and injecting your band name with an idea of eternal youth that doesn’t hold up. The Rolling Lads? Yeah, no. Although The Beatles are my favorite band ever, I think that The Beatles is the worst band name ever. At least they didn’t go with “The Shoes.” Lennon suggested that name because he said the name didn’t matter, they could be anything. OH WOW, SO DEEP.

I kind of get what he means though. You could cast anybody as me or my mom and you could turn my life into any kind of show, and it would be different, but it would still be the same at the core. It wouldn’t matter because it’s from the same place, the same us, the same truth.

MONEY.

Find It — The Carrie Nations (Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls)

Posted in: i don't even know, let's just talk from our hearts, this is sad