New. Ish.

Look! Everything’s all new and shiny! Like when you buy clothes at the mall, and you take them home, and they’re so crisp and clean you don’t even want to put them on their hanger yet; you almost just want to take photos of them, in their pristine condition, and look at them whenever you need to feel happy. Or maybe that’s just something girls feel.

Yes, I have a new layout. I have no idea what I’m doing, wordpress is very different than blogger. It’s kind of like the Flinstone’s Car compared to…well any car that came out after 1980. Or something, I’m not a big car person. Though I’d like to be. I’d love to be able to fix my own car. “Yep,” I’d say knowingly, tilting my head to the side, “Seems like the problem’s with the percolator.” Thank you, Twin Peaks, for introducing me to the word “Percolator.” Yes, I know those aren’t found in cars. But does everyone? Probably not, right?

What do you think of the new look? Some of you guys are freaking out. I think you’re worried that I’m changing too much. First a boyfriend and now a new blog layout. I know it’s a bit much. It’s a bit much for me too! The last time I had a boyfriend, iphones weren’t even invented! Oh, the Hugh Granity! The last time I had a boyfriend, Paris Hilton had an album! Tom Hanks was solving riddles and shit! Saddam Hussein was alive! Name that year!

This post is more or less my way of saying, Welcome to my new home. It’s a little different than the old home. But it’s still got the same person living in it. Best of all, I will not ask you to take off your shoes before entering, because I think that’s bullshit! I WILL NOT BE SHORT YOU FOR YOU. IF YOU WANT ME TO TAKE OFF MY HEELS, THEN YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE MY DISMEMBERED FEET WITH THEM. It’s not like before coming to your house I thought, “Let me take a brisk jog through that manure pasture.” The bottoms of my shoes are probably cleaner than your kitchen, and that’s because most kitchens are breeding grounds for bacteria! I know this because Dr. Oz told me. Dr. Oz is always warning us about how every single thing we could ever do has great potential to make us sick. Frankly, if I listened to everything Dr. Oz said, I would never wear makeup, eat takeout, drive a car, look at the sky, or shower. But I do all of those things. I’m not going to live in fear. At least, not his fears. My own fears are a different story.

Anyway. Stay with me, guys. It’s just like Beyonce and Buzz Lightyear said: “To infinity…and beyond!”

Just Me And You — Jane Birkin

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11 thoughts on “New. Ish.

  1. Katie

    I just bought a new American Apparel zip up hoodie and refuse to put it in the washer… mostly because I know it wont be as soft, but also because it just looks pretty- much like the word vomit that’s on the upper left side of your layout (points for the element of surprise mean girl reference?)

  2. Colin Wright

    Only just came across this blog, but I’m already adding it to the list of hilarious, nearly-stream-of-consciousness-girl-bloggers that I read because I like to laugh and am jealous of your funny-rant-abilities.

  3. Daniel

    Ok ok … so honest comments/feedback. Your blog looks more relevant and up-to-date now. I also miss the old header. And not on one of those “don’t change things because I want everything to just stay the same and familiar” notes, but in a “I really liked the old logo so much, if it’s not broken why fix it” tune moreso. But, the layout itself is tops.

    You’re not one of those girls who seems to harp on about her relationships (which annoys everyone), but (truth be told) I don’t feel it is my place or anyone else’s place to say anything about you being in a relationship. Your choice, your life, your blog. I have no doubt you will continue to deliver the goods.

    Keeps up the good word and, as always, CHEERS,
    D

  4. deromanticize

    My only complaint about the new look is that now I can’t follow you on blogger. Unless there’s some secret way I don’t know about? I guess I’ll have to either figure out this whole google friend connect thing or just remember to go check your blog.

    About the shoe thing. In LA I guess everyone drives everywhere, so shoes are pretty clean. How much dirt can get on them from the front door to the car door anyway? But in NYC those shoes have been all over- including in the subway, though urine residue, etc. Those shoes are definitely coming off within two feet of my door.

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