Just Some Things To Think About On Your Next Date

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What if your date brings a lamb? Or eats a lamb? Or is a lamb? What then?

What if you ordered something really delicious and your date ordering something very average and you feel bad for them but at the same time you’re just full of disgust and annoyance, because why the hell would you order anything but melted cheese on top of something?

What if you were on a dinner date and suddenly someone came up to you and said, “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MICHAEL BUBLE!!!” and Michael Buble was behind you playing a piano and you were like, oh this is cool, and then you go to a bar after your date and then the same person comes up to you and says, “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MICHAEL BUBLE!!!” and Michael Buble was behind you playing a piano AGAIN? I think that would be too much. Am I wrong?

And then let’s say you’re at this bar, and Michael Buble is playing, but you don’t really care about his music, but your date does. Which one do you ignore? Michael Buble or your date?

What if you just don’t fucking feel like putting the accent on the “e” in Michael Buble’s last name?

What if you never find the person who wants to do happy hour with you? What if you invite them to happy hour and they say yes, but they don’t believe that happy hour starts at 3 PM? What if they think it doesn’t start until 5? Or 6? What the hell will you do then? Are you even thinking about stuff like this? You should be.

 

“American Cyanamid, Girl & Lamb” by Nickolas Muray from George Eastman House Collection via Flickr.

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16 thoughts on “Just Some Things To Think About On Your Next Date

  1. Erica L

    If someone wants to go to happy hour with me, and they don’t believe that it starts at 3, I would probably end up just not going, or take advantage of the fact that it starts at 3, and pre game, he is probably going to be a loser anyways.

  2. Ajax

    “What if you just don’t fucking feel like putting the accent on the “e” in Michael Buble’s last name?”

    I never do.

  3. Simone

    I don’t think of any of this when I’m on a date BUT NOW I WILL.

    And to answer your question, if Michael Buble was playing behind me I’d probably turn around, take a photo for my grandma then get back to my date.

    1. Almie Rose Post author

      HAHAHAHA. “Michael Buble: Granda Approved” should be the title of his next album.

  4. Alley

    I would never think it’s cool that Michael Buble were behind me, next to me, and especially in front of me.

    Running for the hills, tbh.

  5. Andrew

    As much as I hate bulleted/numbered responses, it’ll have to do:
    – Delicious meal v not: I dated a girl who went vegan while we were dating and this happened with absurd but of course expected frequency (if anyone reading this is vegan, I don’t mean to offend really, I’m just expressing my experience). The worse part was that I would absent-mindedly offer her some of what I was eating, earning a death glare. In the end, I learned to enjoy what I enjoy because it’s freaking delicious.

    – A little Buble goes a long way. That said, I wouldn’t go all the way with Buble.

    – If he wanted an accent on his name, then he shouldn’t be in AMERICA. *crushes can on his forehead*

    – Happy hour starts at 5 or 6? DEALBREAKER.

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