I’m interested in your thoughts on public displays of affection. I moved to the UK last year and I see it everywhere (not that I mind), but it seems like much more of a taboo in North America. Why do you think that is? – Apocalypstick reader Andrew James Bond. That’s not his real last names. I gave him those. YOU’RE WELCOME, ANDREW.
I guess this is the part where I say “Americans are so much more uptight about sex than Europeans we suck blah blah” and that’s all true, though I still don’t know why this is. I guess because our movie ratings are stricter than yours and always were. Or maybe because you guys jumped on that whole bikini and then topless swimsuit thing. Or maybe you guys invented sex and we’re doing our best to imitate it. Maybe what we think of as sex is actually a really stimulating Scrabble game, and we’ve been doing it wrong all these years. But if you’re out with some friends and in front of you you see two young people making out real intense, you and your friends are probably going to look around awkwardly and think, “I don’t need to see this, I just want to ride the Matterhorn!!” or whatever, I don’t know what you do in your spare time. I go to Disneyland, that’s my choice. If anyone reading this wants to get me into Club 33, please email me. Click the “contact” button.
Here is the universal truth about PDA: we hate it unless we’re the ones doing it. (Look don’t even get up on me and say, “THAT’S NOT TRUE FOR ME.” I don’t care, okay? I can’t please everyone. Go home, little Timmy. Or whatever your name is. Darryl. I don’t know, okay? I’m just a girl with a computer.) I don’t like seeing it. I can’t explain why. Because I’m American? Because I went to an All Girls School for most of my important years of my youth? Because I watched too much Nickelodeon? I really don’t know. I want to blame Ren and Stimpy for something, and maybe this isn’t it. I’ll save them for something else, something real special, like why I’m afraid of kitty litter or veins.
But if I’m the one with an adoring someone all over me, I’m thinking, “I don’t give a fuck what you people think, I’ve waited too long to have someone like me like this, WE ARE KISSING NOW, DEAL WITH IT GOODY PROCTOR!” I just want to be loved by someone really sexy and successful, okay? Isn’t that what we all want? Who says, “I want to be loved by someone really unattractive and unsuccessful?” College kids, that’s who. Graduation day is upon us, people. Time to get your diploma and make out with someone hot.
Just not in enclosed spaces, like lines for Disneyland rides or a crowded Starbucks, okay? WE’RE NOT READY FOR THAT. NOT IN AMERICA.
Golden Slumbers (Beatles cover) – Claudine Longet
O.M.REFERENCETOTHECRUCIBLE. THIS IS PERFECT.
The only time I feel uncomfortable with PDA when I’m the one PDA’ing (yes, PDA’ing) is when I’m with someone who is unattractive. College, ya know? You know.
Oh i know!
ahhh, NO enclosed space PDA! NOOO!
once an old man driving by on a lawn mower yelled “get a room!!” when i was resting my head on my boyfriend’s shoulder…soooo…yeah. that made me hate america/the elderly for awhile.
LOL THAT OLD MAN IS SO ME IN…one year.
I typically blame You Can’t Do That on Television for all of the tribulations in my life. Making jokes in lockers? Green slime just falling on you for saying a colloquial phrase?
(I wasn’t done) WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS?
I don’t mind PDA’s. Love and junk. That’s fine. I kind of don’t need to see two people playing grab ass in public though. I save that for the Internet.
“(I wasn’t done) WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS?” I LAUGHED FOR LIKE 4 SOLID MINUTES, THANK YOU
PDA doesn’t really bother me all that much unless the parties in question are licking eachother’s faces off. I like to build elaborate stories in my mind as to why they feel the need to do this in public and kiss so passionately. I’m fairly certain that the movie Armageddon was based on one of these stories that I made up to justify public face sucking.
Thanks for the new last name! 😀
Great post! You’ve brought up some good points, and I think it is generally true what you’ve said about the whole “I don’t give a fuck now that it’s happening to me” attitude. Personally, I support PDA in that I’d rather see more love in the world than hate or passivity.
I think attitudes towards PDA in different cultures have a direct influence on other social-behavior patterns. At least, this would explain the patterns I’ve noticed between club life in North America and here in the UK:
In North America, because PDA is more taboo, I think people use the dance-floor as a means of expressing their sexuality and emotions. At most of the clubs I’ve been to in Canada, people group very close together and it’s not uncommon for friends to “bump and grind” without causing drama or suffering any other kinds of repercussion. If and when couples do “hook up” on the dance-floor, their behavior doesn’t necessarily go that far beyond that of the group. They may dance like they’re glued to each other, and embrace now and again – but it’s rarely aggressive.
In the UK, club patrons appear much more conscious of personal space. At virtually every club I’ve attended so far, groups of people form into rings with noticeable space between dancers. I’d suspect if you could get a top-down shot of things, it might look like some kind of synchronized swimming display. However, once a couple “hook up”, the gloves (or even more) are off. I’ve seen couples spend up to 45 min making-out on the dance-floor. I haven’t interviewed anyone (yet), but from where stand it looks like that’s one of the very few socially acceptable platforms for people to release the tension of all their built up, suppressed sexuality and emotions. You hold back for as long as possible, but once you find someone – look out world! It’s all tonsil-hockey under the disco-ball.
I call dibs on the album title “Tonsil-Hockey Under The Disco Ball”!
You are welcome!
Dancing in the UK and Canada sounds like my middle school dance experience.
I think that furthers the theory that we never truly grow up, and middle/high school never really ends.
I tend to keep lovers around for about a month, give or take a week or three. It’s not that I I’m trying to force my PDA upon the prudes of the world, but rather that I’m trying to maximize my time. There’s only so many hours in the day to make out. I’ve got a fucking job. You feel me, Ezekiel Cheever?
i always assumed it was because all the puritans fled to north america during the protestant reformation/counter reformation.
i don’t like pda when i’m with the people pda-ing. if i’m at a party and there are people in the corner making out, whatever. if i’m hanging out with friends, trying to have a conversation with someone and they are sitting on their boyfriend’s lap licking his face, then i want to strangle them both.
“We hate it unless we’re the ones doing it” is pretty much true for everything, right? I hate drunk people, unless I’m drunk. I hate PDA, unless I’m involved. I hate…everything. Unless it’s my thing, then I love the shit out of it.
True. I will give you your propers!
It should be considered PDA when people use pictures of themselves making out with their significant other as their Facebook icon. It should also be considered illegal.
When I come across PDA I don’t see two people super-duper in love, with an “I do want I want” mentality. I see “LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME.”
YES. YES IT SHOULD. UGGGHGHG CAN’T BELIEVE I DIDN’T COVER THIS!!
testing.
When I didn’t have a boyfriend, I hated PDA. Now that I have one, I’m all SCREW YOU BITCHES, WE’RE MAKING OUT NOW.
Wait, now I have a new theory – people treat PDA like how the Tea Party treats Health Care: they hate to see everyone else get it, but when they have it’s all “FUCK YOU, I GOT MINE!”
I HATE it when Goody Proctor rains on my copping-a-feel parade.
I don’t know if we Canadians are different, but I’d make out anywhere. (Granted, I have an exceptionally cute girlfriend.)
I think you and I are in the minority. Most of my friends back home in Canada don’t appreciate PDA. Mind you, for a time I was one of *those* couples that made-out in close proximity to them (now that I think about it, that was probably the closet I’ve had to a rebellious phase).
So does this mean you want to make out? I’m down.
Are you hot?
OH WAIT I KNOW WHO THIS IS, LOL SORRY. I forgot your ~~blog name~~ and assumed that this was a dude. MY BAD!
Though I am a prude when it comes to sex (as in I abstain for the mostpart), I generally enjoy the shit out of some PDA.
As someone who’s recently found himself in a position where he might be guilty of awkward PDA, with someone equally new to this, can I get some ideas of where everyone places the line between ‘aw that’s cute’ and ‘I want to tear their faces off and stuff them down their throats’? My research thus far seems to indicate that, although everyone has different standards for different situations, there are some commonalities. We’ve been playing it by ear, and haven’t had any complaints, but then again, this is Canada, so everyone is ridiculously polite (as well as living in igloos and having TVs that run off whale oil). But then again, this is Canada, and we’re less tolerant of that stuff, apparently. But back on topic. Where does everyone place the line of being not comfortable?