Yesterday started out like the day before it and the day before that and the day before that. I was getting ready for work. I was buttoning my shirt when all of a sudden I heard a crack and pain shot through my neck. I couldn’t move my head, even the slightest. The pain was unbearable. I managed to get to my bed where I laid down for an hour and a half, because I couldn’t move. So of course my cat Obo decided to sit on my chest.
I was scared. I knew I needed help. I called my mom. I am so lucky that she lives here. I persuaded my mom to come over. By the time she got here I was surrounded by two cats and I dog who would not leave me alone. My mom tried to get me to move but the pain was so bad I started crying. Finally I realized that I had to go to the hospital, and this was terrible news.
This meant I had to waste a really cute outfit.
We get to the hospital and damn, what a nice hospital. UCLA hospital is like a really nice hotel. We had to wait about an hour but in that time the kindest nurse I have ever met (Hi Nadia!) saw me and said, “You look like you’re in a lot of pain. You’re so pale. Would you like a Vicodin and some juice and crackers?” JOKE’S ON HER I ALWAYS LOOK PALE. No but seriously. Then later we get into a room and wait some more. And I get more pain killers! The doctor comes in and examines me and determines that there are no broken bones and that I have torn a large muscle in my neck. Ew. They run some tests. They send me on my merry way. Merry because I was so high.
And here I am. In pain. In bed.
Now here’s the thing. There are people who look at a situation like this and think, “Bummer, that sucks.” Then there are people who see this and look for the meaning in it. Why did this happen? Karma? Or is it a message that I need to slow down?
My cynical side really wants to roll my eyes at my spiritual side. But lately I feel like it can’t hurt (pun not intended) to look at things from a view different from my own. Who was it who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living”? Probably Neil Patrick Harris.
Has something weird and/or traumatic happen to you that made you wonder if there was a deeper meaning behind it?
Hey Almie, sorry to hear that you tore a neck muscle. At least there’s the comfort of Vicodin to help you through the healing process physically and spiritually. Sending well wishes your way~~ <3
A couple years ago, I took a date to a high-end restaurant on Miracle Mile. We ordered meals that were upwards of $75~ a head, plus wine and dessert. Now, I don't really enjoy meals much, but what I had (filet mignon wrapped in bacon on a bed of lobster and oyster stuffing) was seriously to die for and was worth every penny. My date enjoyed her meal as well. So, as my darling of a waitress comes by to clear our table, I ask her to tell the kitchen that the food was superb and that I really enjoyed it. About five minutes later, she came back with the check, but it had a big red X on it and in black pen underneath it said "Compliments of the Chef."
Now, I wondered, here's this expensive restaurant making these wonderful meals and nobody bothers to give credit to the kitchen for their hard work? I had every intention on paying the bill, but for the chef to comp my meal just because I gave my appreciation, it made me think that "Wow, are we all really such self-absorbed pricks?" Since then, I've been giving my thanks to everyone for their hard work, not caring if I get any special favors or not. That moment has taught me to be more kind and appreciative to people who go out of their way for me. Even if I do likewise for someone and they don't say thanks, I don't care. I'm about paying it forward, baby.
Oh, and by the way, I did leave that lovely waitress a hefty tip to offset the comped meal. 🙂
Ouch. And ew. But really, you think that happened for a reason? If anything I guess I would read into it, “Well, I guess someone wants me to lay around in bed and watch Netflix instead of going to work for a few days, DON’T MIND IF I DO,” but really, that’s not a reason, just a very convenient outcome.
But if you’re hoping that it means that you should slow down, then good lord, slow down.
ouch! Hang in there and definitely rest a ton!
When I got hit by a car on my bike and broke 3-4 bones (jury is still out), I definitely feel like it was a sign to “quit being a drunken whore” and my life changed a ton in the 6 months afterwards.
But I am superstitious apparently.
A few years ago I woke up like always, sat up in bed, blacked out in pain, and fell on the floor. I was working pretty hard back then and often had a backache but this was thirty times worse. I chiropractor friend brought me some Soma and I kept a frozen pack on it for a day or two but I had to pee on a stack of towels on a trash bag [in bed] because it was too painful to crawl to the bathroom; pitiful but effective. It was “just” a terrible muscle spasm but I didn’t think it was a hidden sign–I already knew I had a difficult job. But who can afford to quit? Later I got fired and was relieved (and horrified), but my back feels pretty good these days! If it WAS a sign, the sign said “Get A Better Degree In College So You Don’t Have To Work Like A Pack Mule”. (Ah, youth.)
Don’t kill yourself over a job! Who’s putting the pressure on; you or them?
I’m not actually an anonymous creeper; I’m just too absentminded to finish filling in the blanks before I hit “submit”. Feel better soon, Miss Almie.
A few years ago I met a mystic/ayurvedic healer guy (and gem merchant) in India who said he was on a fast and had had nothing but water for 30 days. He read my aura, and after ‘listening’ to it for a while, told me lots of creepily accurate stuff about myself and all my emotional issues (I’m still not sure if they were creepily accurate astrology-style, or creepily accurate really-truly-style, but they weren’t all positive, so maybe that means they were true? …gee, thanks for telling me I’m a big baby who hides my fear and insecurity behind a facade of bravado).
So then he told me my throat chakra (the chakra for communication) was all busted up. Then he told me to fix it I needed to buy a special amethyst necklace dipped in milk 3 times over a 24 hour period, specially prepared to treat throat chakra ailments.
Now I’m stuck between being so proud of my clever self for not getting sucked in by a con artist, versus thinking that I have chronic bung-throat-chakra syndrome and my whole life would be better if only I had listened to him. Plus I’m a terrible person for being so cynical.
I guess my point is that it’s hard to know sometimes, but if you’ve got a feeling about it, maybe it’s best to roll with what your senses tell you or you might just end up regretting not having that dairy-coated necklace! Even if it is a placebo.
PS you and your blog are just ace. thanks for putting all the turmoil in my own head on ‘paper’ so eloquently! sorry about your neck… if not a holiday, maybe some amethyst dust in your vicodin will fix that? xxx
OMG Almie, I hope you heal fast and feel better soon!
Thanks Dave!
That sounds super painful! Feel better soon.
I need to work this pale angle better. I’m not getting pain pills out of it.
Thank you!
The key is to look both pale AND miserable.
I slipped and fractured my knee cap back in October. It forced me to slow down big time. I’m still recovering from the soreness of it all, but I was actually relieved to just stop and slow down and let someone else take care of me for a little while.
Fuck that sounds painful. At least you got vicodin and graham crackers.
This is basically a terrible fear of mine. Thinking of you & seriously hoping you’re feeling better soon. Take it easy & TAKE THOSE DRUGS.
I’m glad you’re okay! Work that pale/miserable thing til you’re better…
THE OUTFIT. I WANT THE SPECS ON THE OUTFIT, THE TRUE CASUALTY IN THIS SITUATION.
For real though, what a nightmare. Go you for embracing your spiritual side. I can’t really think of a time I’ve ever done that, except that I’m pursuing a guy really hard right now because I already know it will work out because my horoscope told me so.
P.S. THANK YOU (seriously) for posting that quote two entries ago. Not even joking when I say it inspired me to stop being a little bitch and start blogging again. It feels good.
Uh, you better get better by May.
First, I love that Audrey Hepburn movie, Funny Face. Gorgeous fashion in that film, plus Fred Astaire’s character is based on the incredible photographer, Richard Avedon and apparently Avedon designed the opening sequence and consulted, as well. I love his work.
Secondly, yes. Being a person with multiple debilitating illnesses & chronic pain, I often wonder if there is a reason that these things happened to me. What did I do to deserve it? Maybe it is karma for being a brooding bitch in my earlier days. Maybe it’s because I lied that one (hehehe) time? I don’t know the answer, but if I ever do find out, I’ll let you know.
When I was 17, at the height of my classical music studies and fanaticism, I broke my right hand while drinking at a party. Spiral fracture. I wondered if it meant that I wasn’t meant to be a classical violinist, and it certainly meant months of not playing.
I think it just meant that I probably shouldn’t underage binge drink so much. But of course I wasn’t ready to hear that lesson.
You effed up your neck, now you’re stuck in bed, forced to take it easy. So probably the message is to take it easy.