Before I get into this, I just want to say: this is not a personal attack on anyone. For all I know you make it work like a factory.
Ladies. Please explain this to me. Why do you wear these things?
Maternity Style Dresses. It’s more than an empire waist dress. It’s an EMPIRE STRIKES BACK dress. (See the pun I made there? SEE IT? Good.) I don’t get this. Okay sometimes I get it. When Mr. Tophat is in town, you wanna downgrade the situation and make things comfortable. But why would you elect to wear this style of dress every day? I rocked this outfit too — WHEN I WAS EIGHT.
Oxford shoes. What the fuck are these things. Why are they here. Why are women wearing them. Do you realize that they’re cutting off your leg 90% of the time? Do you realize you look like you’re about to go golfing? Do you not care that people might think you like to golf?
Leggings with a giant sweatshirt. Seriously, what the fuck is this? Talk about dressing like an 8-year-old. This shit is no longer acceptable if you are old enough to drive and are younger than 80. This is bullshit. It’s bullshit that you can put on a giant stupid sweatshirt with leggings and not be going to the gym and be posted on the Internet as a fashion ~~inspiration~~.
American Apparel. Do you not realize how disgusting this company is? How it’s racist, sexist, and just plain deplorable? Do you not realize that you can buy the same basics at Target for a fraction of the cost?
The whole “I’m a good Christian mom with two kids in 1990″ look. You know what I’m talking about. The dowdy sweater, the ill-fitting mom pants, the OXFORDS or something similar, and to top it off, the mom-style leather purse. Also includes the whole t-shirt tucked into high shorts with a belt look.
The whole t-shirt tucked into high shorts with a belt look. Just for emphasis, because I really don’t understand this one.
The hummingbird skull necklace. It’s been done, sorry.
“I’m that math teacher from middle school” look. Similar to the ’90s mom look, but with a twist. The twist usually being a Golden Girls style dress and short socks with chunky heels. Also includes wearing the longest skirts ever made.
Long denim skirt. I can’t even–
Basically my issue is with lovely young ladies dressing like Clarissa Darling’s mom. I think they aim for Clarissa, but they overshoot. So explain this to me: what is the appeal?