Dec
5
2011
“Satchmo Finds A New Mate”
Dec
2
2011
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?
Photo of my friend Chelsea as Edie taken by Lisa.
I do, sometimes. (I’m quoting Katy Perry who sings, “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind wanting to start again?”). I cringed at first with this simple “American Beauty” inspired lyric, but now when I’m feeling down all I have to say is, “I feel like a plastic bag” and my friends just get it.
Things are pretty much super in my life right now, so of course I wish it was different.
You want a rocket ship and then you get a rocket ship and suddenly you panic and think, no I don’t want this fucking rocket ship I want a boat. It’s something like that. It’s the feeling you get when everything is going right.
Contrary to what you’d think, it rarely feels good to feel right.
It’s like, this is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. How did I get here? Where are my keys? I lost my phone.
The easiest thing to do in this situation is to take a deep breath and say, happily, “I don’t give a fuck.” Look at your watch and realize that it’s I Don’t Care O’clock. It’s freeing. I’ve also found that it actually really helps to listen to the Katy Perry song (“Firework”). When I’m stuck in traffic on the drive home I blast it 4 times in a row. My drive home is an hour and a half. If anyone wants to make me a mix and post it/has a mix already made, please link me. It would make my days. It’s in bold because it’s really important.
So what’s my problem? If everything is so good why does it feel so weird?
{ 26 comments }
Nov
26
2011
How to actually keep calm and carry on.
The British are better at so many things. Throwing weddings, speaking in cool voices, and above all, keeping calm. They are really good at not losing it. Examples: Mary Poppins, Dr. House, Will and Kate, Giles from Buffy, Helen Mirren, and Angela Lansbury’s greatest role ever as Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast.
I think Americans are known for being rushed, busy, and always wanting and needing things “on the go.” Or we’re thought of as being lazy. I guess it depends on who you’re asking.
As an American who always wanted to be British when she grew up, I’m trying to be more level-headed like our friends “across the pond.” It’s very hit or miss. In some situations I’m calmer than others. I’m able to stand back and assess the situation, realize how others are responding poorly to it, and not do what they’re doing. In other situations I act like the workers at Springfield’s nuclear power plant during a practice evacuation. In an effort to help myself, I’m going to help you too. Because I think when we give others advice help ourselves too.
– You’ve heard many times that you should take a deep breath. But do you actually do it? A legit deep breath? Here’s what you do. Before you go into a potentially stressful situation, like work on Monday morning, sit in your car (or boat or subway or whatever), close your eyes, inhale, hold it and exhale. When you inhale do it slowly and count in your head to three like you’re a robot, not like you’re a rushed person heading to work. Then let it go. That’s it. But it’s very important to be present when you do this. Don’t do it just to do it. Really think about it.
– Listen to Huey Lewis and the News. I’m serious, when something makes you nervous, listen to the first few seconds of this, and you’re set. Look at how successful Patrick Bateman is!
– Realize that at some point, the day is going to end. Time has to go by. What looks tough now is going to be a memory tomorrow, and that’s just a fact.
– Find the calmest, most put together person in the room, and copy them. If you can’t get it together, find someone who can, and do what they do.
– Think of an escape plan. If you’re the kind of person who thinks immediately of the worst case scenario maybe stop trying to fight it. Go ahead and think of the worst case scenario but instead of making it spooky, look at how you’ll rationally get over it. If you did something stupid at work, come up with your escape plan. “I’ll apologize, ask what I can do to make it better, and if I get fired I can use this as a learning experience and ask my friends if they know of any job leads and in the mean time sell my plasma for cash.” If you had a fight with your partner, think, “Okay if they break up with me, I’ll be all right, I’ll collect myself and talk to my friends and/or mom and take a personal day and learn from this experience and buy another cat and pick up a bottle of whiskey.” And so forth.
– Ask yourself, “Is this actually going to matter a week from now?” Think of other times in your life when it seemed like you were on the brink of disaster. Don’t you now realize, I can’t believe I freaked out over that?
Here’s what not to do:
– DO NOT post about it on the internet. It may bite you in your bum later. (See, British people say bum.)
– DO NOT speak out of anger. That’s just going to lead to more anger.
– DO NOT cry in public. That’s what your car is for!
If this post helped you at all then read It’s Okay for more advice.
How do you keep calm and carry on?
{ 15 comments }
Nov
8
2011
Please Dress Me.
This right here is my uniform. Red lipstick, lots of black, and this Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin tee when I’m not wearing a black dress.
Today I start a new job in fashion Exciting! I have no idea how I stumbled into the world of fashion (I also write for Genlux Magazine), it just kind of happened, and I love it. But I have a confession. Lately, I’ve sort of given up on my style. “I don’t know how to dress anymore,” I told my mom. Expecting her to say, “Oh of course you do,” she instead said, “Yeah you’re not really trying anymore.” Yikes. Let’s take a magical tour through my fashion history, shall we? (This post contains lots of photos so if your computer is slow, lollolol). Oh and
What is your daily uniform? What’s your favorite style, your favorite looks, your favorite fashion inspiration? And do you have any suggestions for me?
{ 51 comments }
Nov
7
2011















